Savior
by CPDSVU
Summary: Jay and Hailey have not been on the same page recently. Jay's gone off the deep end dealing with his PTSD, and Hailey's just about given up on getting her old partner back. But what if he was suddenly taken, and she was the only one who could get him back? An Upstead twist inspired by the original Season 3 premiere "Life is Fluid."
1. MIA

A/N: Timeline is a little awkward in this, so bear with me. Think of it as everything that happened from 6x02-6x20 happened [no Kelton drama though]; **but** Jay's undercover op (5x07-5x10) happened _after_ the season 6 stuff; putting that tension w/him and Hailey at the forefront of their issues per the current storyline. And in this scenario, Jay is the one that went off the rails (as Erin originally did in the s3 premiere). Make sense? Hopefully so!

* * *

"_I wanna hear you say it." _

"_Say what, Hailey?" _

"_That you're no longer my partner. That you're throwing it all away, Jay. That these last 2 years have meant nothing to you!" She could hear the anger build up in her voice. _

_Her practically former partner scoffed at her. "Are you done?" _

_She harshly pulled his sunglasses from his face, revealing his red, hungover eyes. "Jay, come on!" _

"_No, Hailey. I'm done with this. I'm done with you." He snatched his glasses back out of her hands, and stomped off before she could say anything else. Like 'I miss you' or 'You're better than this.' She didn't want to hate him. In fact, up until recently, she had trouble keeping the exact opposite feeling to herself. But she didn't love this side of her partner. Jay had pushed her away for long enough, and as she got back into her car, she sighed. Maybe it was time for her to let him go for good._

* * *

"Hail, have you seen Jay today?" Adam asked her, tapping his pen on her desk in an annoying rhythm.

Hailey felt her neck snap up to face him. "No," her voice came out clipped and frustrated. She took a breath, knowing she shouldn't take out her anger for Jay on Adam. "No, I haven't. He's been MIA since last night. I haven't been able to get a hold of him."

Adam nodded, taking in the information. "Did he say anything last night? Or is there any place he would go? I know he's dealing with a lot, but he's never missed."

She grimaced, but knew he was right. No matter what was going on in Jay's personal life, he never ever missed a day of work. Not once. _Something's got to be up_, Hailey thought to herself.

"Hey Adam?" She asked, getting up from her chair. She put on her jacket. "Can you ping Jay's cell for me and text me when you have it?"

Adam looked over at his former fling with curiosity. "Yeah, sure. Where you off to?"

Hailey looked at him quickly before grabbing her gun and phone. "Going to check out Halstead's apartment. If he's just sleeping it off, I'm gonna kill him for making me worry like this. I'm hoping I'm overreacting, but I still want to check up on him. Just send me the location, please?" She said, slightly exasperated.

* * *

"Jay?" Hailey knocked on his door for the third time. "Jay, come on!" She pleaded, banging on his door, this time loud enough to make his neighboring tenant come out of their apartment. It was an older woman, who looked simultaneously annoyed and concerned.

"What's going on out here?" She asked, looking at Hailey strangely.

Hailey flashed her badge. "Ma'am, I'm Detective Upton. CPD. My partner, Jay Halstead lives here. But he didn't show for work today. Did you see him leave here? Or have you seen him at all since last night?"

The woman shook her head. "No, dear, I'm sorry I haven't seen him. But here," she paused, taking a few steps past Hailey, stretching until she reached the top of the door frame. She pulled down a key. "He hides his spare up here." She put the key, and opened the door for Hailey.

"Thank you." She said, drawing her gun from her waistband and shutting the door behind her quietly.

She carefully walked down the entryway to his apartment, clearing the bathroom and kitchenette. She skimmed over the mess in his living room, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. At least not for the Jay Halstead she's known recently. Beer bottles littered the hardwood floor, empty wrappers and dirty clothes were strewn across the couch and chair. _God, really Jay?_ Hailey rolled her eyes at the sight, but continued her search of his place.

She cleared the empty guest room, and moved onto his bedroom. She noticed the door was closed. _Maybe he was just passed out cold_. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. She banged on it, hoping the sound would be enough to jar Jay from his drunken stupor. No such luck. She sighed, praying he wouldn't throw a fit at her for breaking down his door.

She kicked it in, and was greeted with an empty room. No sign of Jay anywhere. But there were signs of a struggle. Hailey noticed a pillowcase was missing, and she saw a tiny bit of what she assumed was blood on the corner of a sheet. _Shit_.

She jumped at the sound of her phone going off. It was Adam. He had gotten the location of Jay's phone. "Well, where the hell is it?" Hailey asked impatiently.

"Hailey, you should be right on top of it." Adam said factually. Hailey scanned the floor until she indeed, found Jay's phone underneath the bed.

"I got it, I got it." She said, getting up off her knees from crawling. "Dammit, Adam. He's not here. Call Voight. I think Jay's in trouble."

Hailey could feel the tears coming on, and her body was brought back down to the ground by sobs.


	2. Lies & Videotapes

"What'd we got?" Voight's grave voice startled Hailey out of her trance.

"Adam tracked his phone, which I found underneath his bed. A pillowcase is missing, and there's blood," Hailey paused, pointing to the spot in question. "There."

Voight nodded. "Kev, you and Kim go talk to the neighbors. Someone had to have heard or seen something."

Hailey looked at her boss, who seemed so cool and collected, even if this dire situation. "Sarge, what's our next move?" She asked hurriedly, desperately wanting an answer as to what _she_ could do to help.

"Hailey, what I need from you is to go with Adam to check out Jay's last known. Take the phone, and go."

Hailey nodded, quickly taking the evidence bag from Voight and finding Adam.

* * *

"Look, it's really not the hard of a question Andrew," Adam spat, frustrated. "Was this guy here last night or not?" He held up Jay's photo to the young bartender again.

Andrew squinted, before relenting. "Yeah, yeah he was. But I had to throw him out at midnight. He was causing too much trouble."

"What _kind_ of trouble?" Hailey chimed in.

"Getting rowdy, starting fights. Like he was just looking for bad news." Andrew said, shaking his head in disbelief. "So, I had our bouncer toss him out on his ass. I don't know what happened to him after that."

"Alright, thanks." Hailey said, nodding at Adam to leave.

"Well, now where to?" She asked him, pointing at the list.

Adam looked at the piece of paper. "It looks like Jay headed to Molly's after that. Then back to his house."

Hailey nodded. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

Hermann greeted the two detectives at the entrance. "Hey guys, you know we don't open till later, right?"

Hailey held up her hand, stopping Hermann's speech. "Hermann, this is important."

Adam eyed the older gentleman, as if to say, 'Just help us out here.' Hermann nodded, understanding the seriousness of the situation.

"What's going on guys?" Hermann went back around to the bartop, motioning for Hailey and Adam to sit.

"It's Jay," Hailey started. "He's missing."

Hermann's expression went from calm to concerned. "When? What, I don't–"

Adam interrupted. "Hermann, was he here last night? According to his GPS, that was the last place his phone was before he headed home."

Hermann's brows furrowed. "No, I mean, well, hell, I wasn't in last night. Lemme grab Stella in the back. She was bartending last night."

"Hey, Kidd! C'mere!" Hermann called into the backroom. Stella poked her head out.

"What now Hermann?" She said, setting down an inventory box on the counter.

"Did you see Halstead in here last night?"

"Yeah, why?"

Adam cut in. "Was he with anyone? Did he talk to anyone?"

Stella thought for a second. "I mean, he flirted with every girl here. But no, he didn't leave with any of them. Although he did leave the bar for a bit and then came back in. I figured he just went out to his car or something. He was gone for maybe 10 minutes."

Adam nodded, scribbling down Stella's information. Hailey added, "Did your back camera catch anything?"

Hermann said he'd go check. The two detectives waited with Stella while he did so. He came back with a tape in hand. "Here, you guys will want to see this."

* * *

Hailey buried her face in her hands as she sat across from her Sergeant. She had just played the tape for him and the rest of the unit. It showed Jay buying drugs from a sleazebag dealer, they just didn't know _which_ sleazebag dealer until Tech could get them a clearer picture. Hailey was kicking herself for not knowing he had slipped this far down into another hole. She knew he wasn't getting better per say, but she figured that since he was showing up and doing the work that he had some kind of handle on it. She should've known. _Dammit_.

"What do we do now, boss?" Adam asked, voicing what everyone was thinking.

Voight sat up straighter in his chair. "Adam, you and Hailey run that vid to Tech right now. Kevin, you and Kim go track Jay's financials. Antonio and I are going to go run down some of our old gangs and drug CIs."

The squad broke up and did as they were told. An hour later, they finally had something they could use. "Boss, something popped off Halstead's credit card this morning. Gas station off of Wabash and Columbus was where he filled up his truck. But when I talked to the attendant, it wasn't Halstead that he saw there."

Kim butted in. "So, we took down his description and ran it through facial rec, and we got 3 matches. De'Von Owens; Tyrell Masoner; and Bobby Burke. All gang affiliated, all known drug dealers."

Voight nodded, satisfied with these new leads. "Pick 'em up."

* * *

"I'm not gonna ask you again Tyrell." Voight stated matter-of-factly. "Where's my detective?"

He pressed his hand harder over the man's throat, choking him even more. "I…..don't….know!" Tyrell spat out, his words coming in spurts due to the lack of oxygen.

Antonio tried to get Voight to let up on his grip, but he wouldn't. "**Where**" His other hand smacked Tyrell's face. "**Is**" Again, he choked him up. "**He**?"

Tyrell wasn't talking anymore, so Voight shoved him back into his chair and told Antonio to take him to lockup.

In the next interrogation room over, Adam and Hailey were not having any luck with Bobby either. "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby…" Adam started, shaking his head at the punk sitting across from him. "You're what? 22? What the hell are you doing selling to a cop?"

"Dude" Bobby drawled out, "I don't know any Jay Halstead, for the thousandth time. I wasn't even by that Molly's bar man. I hate selling in public places. My spots secluded."

"Your spots _are_ secluded, idiot." Hailey said, smacking him upside the head.

"Hey lady! What the hell?!" Bobby said, surprised by Hailey's rash action.

"Where is he, Bobby? Where the hell is my partner?" Hailey yelled, getting in his face.

"Hey man, get her the hell away from me! This chick's crazy!" Bobby nervously called to Adam.

Adam rolled his eyes, not wanting to sympathize with this dumbass, but he seemed genuine.

"Hailey," he tried, grabbing at her arm. Hailey shook him off.

"No, this idiot knows where Jay is, he's just jerking us off!" Hailey went to grab Bobby by the collar, but Adam wrapped his arms around her, forcing her out of the room.

"God dammit, Adam! Get off me!" She screamed, thrashing around in his arms.

Adam reluctantly let her go, holding his hands up, bracing for Hailey to come at him for undermining her again. She did, originally slamming her hands against his chest, an angered frustration leaving her lips. But then it turned into a strangled cry, of sadness for her missing partner. Adam hugged her as she sobbed into his chest, mumbling inconsistent 'whys' and 'where is he?'


	3. Let's Go for a Ride

Kevin and Kim tried to sneak back into the office unnoticed, but with everyone on such high alert, that was simply impossible. Their heads hung low, a disappointed vibe emanating into the room.

"We lost him, De'Von. He shot up our car, took shots with civilians around. We couldn't risk it." Kim lamented.

"We're sorry guys." Kevin added.

"No apologies." Voight said, surprisingly softer than usual. "We struck out, but we will not give up. Understood? Let's recanvas his last knowns, grab up his suppliers, whatever we have to do. Let's go!"

The squad disbanded, each racing the streets looking for the one person or place that could lead them to Jay.

* * *

After they finished raiding a club, Voight received a call. The unknown number blinked mercilessly across the screen. He answered it routinely. "Voight."

"Your boy's good. Won't give anything up. But you knew that already, didn't you?"

"What do you want De'Von?" The sergeant's voice was firm, but clipped with an edge. He deduced that De'Von had to be the dealer, as they had exhausted their first two suspects.

"Get me all the known targets in the drug wars in Chicago. I'm taking out all my competition. Your guy says he doesn't know anything about that, maybe so. If not, the files will tell me what I need to know. Send a lone, female officer to deliver the box. 58th and Cal. 9AM, tomorrow."

There was a pregnant pause, before he added, "And Voight? No guns, no one else in your unit. If I see even one move, you'll be burying Halstead in some cornfield out in Indiana."

Voight heard a struggled voice in the background, as if attempting him to reject the information. "Mmmm, mnmm!" Before he could confirm it was Jay's muffled voice, he heard a grim laugh from De'Von through the phone's receiver.

"Tell Hailey her partner says hi."

A telltale click ended the call, and Voight turned to face his team.

"What was that, boss?"

"Was that him?"

"What about Jay?"

"What'd they say?"

He took in the chorus of concern from his detectives, shaking his head. "De'Von wants all our known drug targets in exchange for Halstead's life."

Adam spoke up first. "Well, that's easy then right? We make the swap."

Kevin and Kim looked at each other. "Wait a minute, we just secured some of those targets through our CIs. If they get blown, so do our agents. We can't lose them, not now."

"So, you'd rather sacrifice Jay?"

Kevin got in Adam's face, protecting his former patrol partner. "Bro, take it back."

"ENOUGH." Voight's voice rang out in the street, making the raging cops turn to look at him.

"Adam, get Tech on the phone now to start making up false files."

"Kevin, Kim, get our covert gear ready to go for tomorrow's get."

Hailey noticed he distinctly left her out of the loop. She grabbed Voight's shoulder. "Sarge, you're not leaving me in the dust here. Not with this. Not with Jay."

She hoped her tone came across as confident rather than desperate. She needed Jay back as a partner more than anything. Her personal feelings aside, she could not live with herself if something happened to him before they were able to get to him.

"Hailey," she calmly started, placing his hands on her own shoulders gently. "Let's go for a ride."


	4. A Wayward Threat

"Get up."

Jay's vision blurred the edges of the figure standing over him.

"I said, get up." The harsh voice proceeding to sprout limbs, yanking Jay up off the concrete floor.

"Mmm!" He groaned at the calloused hands' contact with his open taser wounds. He had spent god knows how long dangling from the ceiling, an electric shock administered to his abdomen every time he didn't know an answer to their bevy of questions.

"_Who's the next targets?" _

"_Who're you working for?" __  
__"What do you know?"_

Hits to his face were done when he outright refused to cooperate. That only happened a few times, when the men started to dig at his personal life.

"_I would've thought you'd been smarter than this." _

"_Fucking high as a kite, no wonder you keep going on about your past. That shit's sad, man."_

"_Whoever this Hailey is, she must be one hell of a woman to put up with all this."_

The tape was harshly ripped from his mouth. All he could do was stare at De'Von, the man he was only 24 hours ago getting a score from. Son of bitch. He marveled at his stupidity. He should've known better than to buy up drunk.

When De'Von got suspicious that he was a Narc, Jay was struck over the head and dragged from the back alley to an awaiting van. He was then transported to this sickly establishment, complete with rough concrete floors and cemented walls. And then, well, the beatings were what followed. He didn't know what else would happen now that was conscious. He just hoped he wouldn't let De'Von break his resolve completely.

"You've got company coming."

Jay felt his brows come together. He attempted to utter a "What?"

This apparently was comical to De'Von, who shook his head and knelt down next to Jay.

"Hailey's been so kind as to get me what I need. She'll be bringing me those targets I asked for. If all goes according to plan, you'll be out of here without a bullet in your brain. Now doesn't that sound like a good deal?" He grinned menacingly, and went to smack Jay's face approvingly, but Jay wrenched it away from his grasp.

"Besides, if she's as hot as the photo on your phone, I'll be happy to meet her."

Jay spat at him, and De'Von slapped him across the face.

"You know, I think I liked you better with the tape on." De'Von went over to the table to grab a new piece.

"I swear to god you son of a bitch, if you lay even one hand on Hailey, you won't live to regret it."

De'Von didn't acknowledge Jay's threat. He simply taped his mouth back up, leaving a deafening silence in the room.


	5. Flashbacks & Echoes

"Sarge, all due respect, but…" Hailey paused, taking in the silos which were surrounding her now. "What the hell are we doing out here?"

Voight didn't say a word. He simply got out of the car, and came around to Hailey on the passenger side, motioning for her to get out. She did as instructed, staring at her boss with confusion and worry.

Voight walked over to the front of the truck, leaning back against the hood. Hailey followed suit, an awkward silence cloaking them. Hailey felt the wind whip against her cheeks. _Damn Chicago Septembers. _

"I need you to understand how serious this is." Voight said, his usual grave tone taking on one of concern, almost like a father would talk to his daughter about doing something dangerous.

"Sarge, I–" Hailey tried, but he held up his hand to stop her. She shut up, letting him finish.

"This is not just about Jay. You hear me? This is about you, too. Don't think I haven't noticed all the tension between the two of you lately. Hell, the whole team has noticed. I was just about ready to reassign one of you when this whole thing jumped off."

He paused, watching Hailey's eyes blink real fast, processing everything.

"Now, before you ask, no, I did not know he was using. You know he's had his past troubles, but he never fell this far back down the rabbit hole before. He hasn't been the same since Erin left, and ever since the reform earlier this year, he's probably felt like he's under a microscope. Then everything with his undercovers…it's a lot, as you know. But this," he paused once more, and Hailey heard a distinct howl from the wind. She shivered.

"This is his life we are talking about here. Yours too. You go in there, there's no guarantees. You won't have backup, you won't have the usual safety net. It'll just be you, and De'Von standing in between you, and getting Jay back. We'll do everything we can, but he said no cops. So, we're sticking to that. No badge, no nothing when you're in. So, whatever the hell issues you two have been having, you can't be thinking about that. You have to trust yourself, and Jay, that you two can do this."

"Sarge, I…" Hailey choked on her words. "I know. I do. I know that me and Jay have had our issues, but it won't affect me. I know how important he is to the team, to you, and to me. He's my partner…at least he was. I know there's no guarantees, I knew that when I signed up for the academy. But if I don't do this, I won't be able to live with myself if something happens and I didn't do whatever it took, with everything I had, to get Jay back."

Voight nodded, and reached into his pocket to give her a thin, almost plastic looking blade. "At least you won't be going in blind." He said, grimacing.

Hailey accepted the small token, sliding it into her own pocket. She tried to shake the memory of one of her and Jay's last good conversations out of her head. _If I was gonna follow someone blind, I'd follow you_. She just hoped this time it would pay off.

* * *

When her alarm blared at 6AM, Hailey didn't even flinch. She never actually went to sleep last night anyhow. No point. She had gotten home at 2, and her mind kept mulling over every single stupid or sweet moment she had with Jay over the couple years she's known him.

_So, you are sleeping with her? What are you doing? _

_I'm fine, I'm fine. And I can figure this out_.

She should've known right then. _How could I have been so naïve?_ Hailey rubbed her eyes, unwillingly letting another memory consume her.

_This isn't about my dad! _

_I didn't say anything, I–_

_No, you're just projecting whatever daddy-daughter crap got you screwed up!_

_Okay, that's it. I'm done being your punching bag. Give me your keys. Give me your damn keys!_

She buried her head in her hands, wishing she could take it all back. All the doubts she had about him after Camila; after his father died; hell, even after he found about her and Adam. All of it, she'd take it all back in a heartbeat if it meant she could start over with Jay.

_Detective Upton, with Robbery-Homicide. There's been a robbery, and a homicide here. So I'd appreciate it if you vacated my crime scene_.

She felt a corner of her lip lift upward, desperately wanting to smile. She bet Jay, Erin, and Voight didn't know that she saw every one of their expressions in her peripherals as she walked away. Little did she know she'd make Intelligence her permanent home just a few weeks later. _ Time flies._

She was pulled out of her thoughts by her phone actually ringing this time, the vibration so loud it clattered against her glass nightstand table.

"Upton."

"Hailey, are you on your way? We've got t-minus 2 hours, and I'm not wasting a second of it. You've still got to go over the emergency exit; and we've still got to secure those files" Voight's voice startled her awake.

"Yes, I'm on my way. Be there in 20."

She sighed, dragging herself out of bed and into a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. She wrangled her messy waves into a slightly less mussed bun, given that having her hair in her face was _not_ a good look for fending off drug lords. She reached into her leather jacket and pulled out the pocket knife Voight had given her yesterday. She slipped it into the edge of the back of her jeans.

_Besides, I'm going where you go_.

_It's hard to find a good partner. _

She just hoped she didn't lose this one.


	6. War

**Quick A/N**: If you watched the s3 premiere, then you'll know about the violent scenes that take place towards the end of the episode. That's essentially what this is based from - with the added moment from 5x18 "Ghosts" (you'll know it when you read it). Hope it makes sense. Carry on & happy reading!

* * *

"You want us to follow?" Adam asked over the radio as the black Buick sped off with Hailey in tow. The plan had changed indefinitely, as Jay was nowhere to be found at the drop site.

_Where's Jay? Hailey asked the man in the driver's seat of the car. _

_We need those targets. _

_No deal. We said a clean trade: the files for Jay, now where is he? _

_Aw, she wants to see her boy. The younger punk mocked from the passenger seat. _

_The driver spoke again. Well then I guess you're going for a ride…_

_Hailey gave her team one last look back before begrudgingly climbing into the car. _

"Not yet." Voight barked. "We do not move until we get a concrete location. Back to the house. Now!"

The screeching of tires on the streets were the only sounds audible in Chicago as Intelligence raced against the clock to get to Hailey and Jay before De'Von did.

* * *

"Drop the box right here." Hailey did as she was told, looking around the warehouse.

"Alright, let's see him." She said, standing tall, feet planted firmly in place.

De'Von cocked his brow, but swiveled his head, motioning for his boys to bring Jay out.

Seconds later, the two men appeared with a black and blue Jay Halstead in tow. His face was bruised, blood coming down the side from his head. His shirt was ripped open, and Hailey cringed at the fractured skin on his chest and abdomen. Duct tape was firmly placed on his mouth, but it was the first to go as soon as he was tossed onto the couch Hailey sat at.

She carefully went over to him and took off the tape. She saw something flash in his eyes, but she couldn't tell what it was. She used to be able to read him like a book.

"Hailey…" he murmured.

"Yeah, it's me. You're okay, alright. We're gonna get you some help." She said, placing a hand to the non-bloodied side of his face.

They were both jarred by the forceful voice of De'Von. "No one's going anywhere till these targets check out!" He made his guys pause. "Just to be safe, let's check a few more things first."

Hailey looked at him incrediously. "Like what?"

De'Von had her arm in an iron grip in a second. "Like wires." He said close to her ear as he now had her facing the wall. Hailey held her breath as she felt his hands going down her torso, lingering a little too long in the usual places. From where she was, she could still see Jay, whose eyes held a mix of rage and horror at what was unfolding.

"Come on man, you don't gotta do it like that." Jay's voice cracked as he pleaded with De'Von.

De'Von only smirked, his hand going between Hailey's legs, making her gasp. She felt utterly humiliated as she saw her partner avert his gaze.

"Fine, show's over. She's clean." He said, releasing Hailey from the wall. De'Von motioned for his guys go on about their business.

Hailey ran back over to Jay, helping him to sit up straighter on the couch. She wanted to tend to him, but without an emergency kit of any kind, there wasn't much she could do. Her eyes scanned his body for any sign of a bullet or deep wound that would require a tourniquet. She was ready to tear off some of his useless dress shirt if necessary to tie it off; but luckily there were no wounds that needed that type of suture.

She sighed, turning to face De'Von. "So, how'd you think this was gonna go, huh? I mean, kidnapping a Chicago police officer…that can't be a smart business move."

De'Von shifted slightly in his chair, curiosity picqued. "And what'd you know about my business?"

Hailey clasped her hands together, a raspy chuckle escaping her lips. "I know if you're worried about a threat, it's not us you have to be afraid of."

The verbal sparring match would've continued had De'Von's henchman not come back with the box, disappointed looks covering their faces.

"De'Von, you're not gonna like this."

De'Von looked from Hailey and Jay back to his boys who held the box. "What is it?"

Hailey watched one of the boys pull out a file on a target. "This one," the guy began "is supposed to be a runner for the Latin Kings, but they've got him parked up in Englewood with a local crew."

"And this one," the other guy chimed in "is supposed to be jailed right now, but according to their paper, he's been out for 2 years. Something's not adding up, boss."

De'Von abruptly stood up from his chair. "So what? You thought you could just bring me a box full of lies?" He glowered at Hailey, who had stood up as well.

"Hey man, I just brought the box they gave me. If you want, I can make a call."

De'Von put his hand out, moving back and forth. "Nah, I'm done making calls."

As he came from around his desk to in front of it, Hailey could see out of the corners of her eyes his two boys drawing near too. _Shit_.

She took a step back, readying one of her hands to grab the knife.

"Kill him first. Make her watch."

* * *

She turned for a split second, her gaze locked onto Jay before being ripped away by one of De'Von's guys. She felt the coolness of the blade in her hand, and took her chance. She stabbed at him, sticking the knife into his chest, near his shoulder. He screamed in pain, giving Hailey a chance to further incapacitate him by a harsh kick to the groin.

She saw the other one run toward her, but she threw a punch to his jaw, throwing him off balance. He faltered, but not as much as she had hoped. He took another run at her, but out of nowhere came Jay, head butting the man before he reached Hailey the second time. That sent him down, hard. Unfortunately, while Jay battled it out with offender #2, the first man decided to come back up for air, tackling Hailey from behind. She tried to break his grasp from her waist, but he wouldn't let go. She knew it would be risky, but she did it anyway, deciding to send both of them down into the glass desk that was De'Von's. The shattering of glass melted into her ears, crashing all around her and the offender. She clawed at his hands, finally getting him off her. She yanked at her knife, (which he had left stuck in his chest) but she couldn't get it with the angle she was at.

"Mmm!" She stretched for it, but let out a gasp when she felt herself being knocked off balance. The only time she let out a strangled cry was when the man had his hands around her neck, trying to choke her.

She hit at his hands, tried kicking at him to knock him down. His grip was unrelenting. In a last ditch effort, she reached up and twisted the knife further into the man's chest cavity, making his eyes widen. A panicked "AHHH" came from his mouth, but he fell towards the ground, and Hailey rolled over to her side before he landed on the floor.

She frantically wiped his blood off her hands before rushing over to Jay's side. Her partner was down once again, this time unconscious. "Jay? Jay?!" She tried, panic setting in. _No, it can't be over. Not like this_. She lightly tapped his face, hoping to get him awake, but no luck.

She could sense someone behind her, so she whirled around, ready to fight once again. What she didn't anticipate was a gun in De'Von's hands, which made her guard come down for a split-second. He came at her, knocking her back into the cement wall. She could feel her head strike the concrete, hard. _That would leave a mark_. She didn't even feel the pain as she fought for the gun.

"Gah—ge-" she let out stifled noises as she used every last bit of strength she had to get that gun away from De'Von. But he was stronger, bigger than her by at least two times. He had her pinned, and she didn't know if there was another way out. While Jay might have been strong enough to use his actual head in a fight, Hailey knew she wouldn't survive it. Without her brain registering her action, she jumped up slightly, criss-crossing her feet over one another. That motion tripped up De'Von (literally), which sent him face first to the floor. What she didn't count on was that action setting the gun off. Hailey only heard the sound, not even realizing she had been hit until she saw blood start to seep through her shirt. She attempted to put pressure on it, but she was so weak she couldn't hold it long enough. She felt her knees quake, and she too was down on the ground. She didn't even get to see if Jay was alright before her eyes betrayed her by shutting.


	7. Confessions

Hailey's eyes flew open at the harsh sound of coughing. She knew it wasn't coming from her, since she felt like she could hardly move, let alone do anything like cough. She turned her head slowly, faintly registering the figure of her partner across the room.

She went to sit up, but groaned at the pain in her side. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision. The area near her ribcage was killing her. Her eyes widened at the sight of dried blood on her hands. But then it all came back to her. _The fight. The gun. _She sighed, hoping not all of it was her own. She forced her eyes downward as far as they could go so she wouldn't have to move much more. She could see where the bullet grazed her side, but she saw no entry and exit wound. _Thank god_.

She carefully propped herself up on her elbow, forcing herself to get up a little more. She slid back down, the movement too much for her body right now. "God!" She cried, partially in pain, but more in frustration for her current situation.

She used her other hand to do something between a crawl and a skid across to where Jay was. She didn't even notice the chain around her ankle until she felt the metal scratch her bare skin. "Ah," she winced, but was only a couple feet from him now, so she decided that was good enough.

"Jay?" She whispered, her voice hurting her almost as much as her body did. From the looks of it though, Jay had it worse than she did, at least on the physical side of things. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to have this image of him in her head anymore. Instead, a million others came rushing into her mind: Jay laughing with her at the CPD dinner; the two of them sharing a beer after the Lauren case; talking over tequila before getting a little tipsy, if she was being honest. She didn't want this negative to cloud over all the positive memories she had with him. Despite their differences lately, she knew he was good police, and the best partner she'd ever had. She couldn't lose him, not now. There was still so much she had to say, that he needed to know…

* * *

She was brought back to the present moment by more of his coughing, and a rasp as he attempted to sit up as well.

"Jay!" She said, her voice coming back a little at the sign of life in him. _Barely_, her brain taunted, but she shoved it away. She'd take it, never leaving it.

He groaned as she tucked her arm into his own and pulled him all the way up. "Hey Hailey…" he said, his green eyes looking almost colorless. He touched his head, astonished by how much blood he had lost. His eyes went from his own bloodied hand to Hailey's.

"Jesus, Hailey…" he said, reaching out to her to find the source of her injury. She grabbed his hand, stopping his movement.

"I'm okay, I promise. Just a graze, nothing terrible."

Jay's eyes softened, but released her hand from his and began to tear at his shirt. "Still, you gotta put more pressure on it. Here," he said, ripping at his shirt sleeve "Take this, you know the rest" he said, the slightest trace of a smile crossed his lips.

Hailey rolled her eyes, but thanked him anyway. "Gimme that," she said, pointing over the leftover tape on the floor.

Jay turned his head to where she was pointing, and picked it up off the ground. "Um, Hail–"

She cut him off. "Ah, don't even care if it was used to tape you up 30 seconds ago or 24 hours ago. Give it here."

He shook his head, but handed her the duct tape.

She split it in two, and he did the same with the shirt sleeve. They swapped, each attempting triage themselves, but failing miserably. Jay peered over at Hailey, and when she poked her head up to look at him, quickly turned away. Little did he know she had done the same thing just a second prior.

"Dammit," he cursed, knowing that he could feel where his head was hit, but he couldn't quite get the tape to stay on. He glanced over at Hailey, noticing she was having the same struggle.

"C'mere," he said, motioning for her to slide over to him. She obliged, a slight smile appearing on her own lips when she saw he had been having trouble too.

"Yeah, okay." She said, handing him the tape. She tugged at where the fabric of her tee shirt had ripped, trying to hold it open so he could press the sleeve to it. "Mmm!" She let out a small cry at the pressure change, as he continued to press down to stop the blood flow.

"I know, I know," he whispered. "Sorry." He quickly taped it up, his focus overpowering the awkward in his mind. Yeah, no time for feelings while they were bleeding.

"Okay, now you." Hailey said, nodding at him to turn to his side. The blood may have been on the front side of his head, near his hair, but the actual blow was off to the side of his ear.

"Sh–" he didn't finish his curse word as he felt her press the makeshift bandage to his head.

"Yeah, duct tape is so _not_ the best choice for this." She stated the obvious as she tried to get the majority of the stickiness to stay on the fabric and not on Jay's head.

"All of this is not ideal," he said, and she chuckled at that, as did he. Their brief moment of normalcy passed too quickly, and they were back to the silence. It hung over them like a ghost, not going away until it was dealt with.

* * *

"Hail–"

"Ja–"

They smiled at each other for the simultaneous starts of conversation. Hailey leaned up against the wall where Jay was, each of them now having their side against it so they were fully facing each other.

She pressed for him to continue. "You first."

"Hailey, I'm sorry. I am so so sorry for the hell I've put you through…these last few weeks especially. I've been distant, and untrustworthy, an all-around sad excuse for a partner. And you deserve better. You _are_ better. I'm sorry I haven't been who you thought I was. I'd do anything to get back to where we used to be."

Hailey listened carefully, trying her best to take in all of his words. She knew he was genuine. She _always_ knew that though. Even when Jay was angry, you could feel it from 10 feet away. He was never one to not wear his heart on his sleeve, so to speak. That was one of things she loved about him. She too, could be fierce at times, but she liked that they balanced each other out…_at least they used to_, like he said.

She realized she hadn't said anything after his apology. She cleared her throat. "Jay, I – thank you for the apology. I know things between us have been rocky at best; disastrous at worst. And while I will never apologize for trying to help you, I may have pushed you too hard. I just want you to be happier, so badly. Because I care about you too much to see you destroy yourself. You're too good a cop," she paused, wondering if she should just lay all her cards out on the table yet. "Partner, and man to keep punishing yourself. I know you, you're right. And I want us to be us again too." She smiled over at him, taking his hand in hers, their arms slightly outstretched as they couldn't quite reach each other completely.

_But it's more than that, isn't it? _

_Yeah_.

It finally dawned on Hailey what she really meant when she said that to Adam. She thought she meant between he and Kim; but what she _really_ meant was between she and Jay.

_Because he's more than that._

_He always has been. _

She felt him squeeze her hand, always the one to bring her back down to earth. His eyes had a little bit of pigment back in them, the green sparkling slightly as he smiled at her. She returned the sentiment, taking a deep breath before courageously spilling the rest of her secret.

"Jay?" She asked, breaking the eye contact momentarily to gauge his reaction.

He stilled, but maintained the same soft expression that was always reserved for her.

"Yeah?"

"I have to be honest with you. It's more than that," She watched his brows knit together in confusion. "I mean, with you. It's more than just getting back to us for me. Because that us, while that us is everything to me; it's not all I want."

"I–" he started, but he stopped when he saw her eyes well up with tears.

"Please, just let me get this out," she begged, her voice breaking in two along with her heart. She didn't know if it was the gravity of the situation they were in, the nerves, or what, but she was extra emotional right now.

"I think why I stopped trying with you was because I was scared. I think I was scared that I had lost you forever. And I didn't know how to handle that. I didn't want to lose another partner. But it was more like I didn't want to see the man that I love be gone from my life."

She watched something spark behind his eyes, but she lost it as the tears blurred her vision. They had begun freefalling down her face now, she probably looked a mess. She kept going in spite of it.

"That's why I needed to do this. Not only to get you, but to get you back. Back to me. Because Jay, when you and I fought, it broke my heart. And when you would disappear, it left a hole in my heart. And every damn time you look at me," she paused again, grinning at _that look_. "Just like that," she sniffled, "it's like I fall in love with you all over again."

* * *

Jay just stared back at her with such intensity; Hailey forgot how to breathe. She hadn't seen that look in his eyes before. He let out a breath, and she watched the scorching heat calm to a dull flame behind his usually bright green eyes. She hoped her eyes were conveying how much she meant the words she had just spoken. She wanted so desperately to be closer to him, but the restraints they both had around their ankles were clunky obstructions. _Fucking chains_.

"Hailey, I, wow, there's a lot I need to say to you. But the first thing you are owed from me is another apology. Because if there's anything I'm most sorry for in my life is hurting you. After our disagreements, I'd drown my sorrows, but it wouldn't drown out the guilt that ate away at me. I hated myself for saying the things I did to you…you didn't deserve any of that. I, I just had so much anger and pent-up emotion inside of me, and well, as you know, you were the punching bag. And I will work harder than ever to earn your trust back. You have to know, Hailey, every time we'd fight, I always wanted to fix what I had done. Even though I know you have the biggest heart and the hugest capacity for forgiveness and love that I've ever seen, I didn't think I deserved to be forgiven for all I had put you through."

Waterfalls of tears rolled down his partners cheeks as she listened to him. He so desperately wanted to wipe them away, to pull her into a hug, but he was annoyingly reminded of the ties that bound them; farther apart than closer together. _Oh, the irony_. Jay felt himself get teary eyed as well. He reached for Hailey's hands and held them in his, attempting to pull her as close to him as possible. He too moved as far as he could, but bit back a groan when he felt the chain cut into his ankle. He could see the pain Hailey attempted to hide on her face. This was all so unfair, so brutally tragic, and yet, he strangely felt calm. Because he was about to say 3 little words that held such big meaning; meaning that he wasn't sure he fully understood until he met Hailey. _Because if I were to follow someone blind, I'd follow her to the ends of the earth_. He pushed the sad metaphor aside, willing this not to be their place they'd say their last words.

"And Hailey," he said, his thumbs rubbing circles on the backs of her hands. "I love you, too." While it broke his heart that he couldn't even bring her hand up to his lips, he decided that he'd be damned if he didn't do something to show her how much he loved her. Was it a tiny gesture? Yes. But for them, in this moment, it meant everything.

Hailey smiled through her tears as she watched Jay drop one of her hands, place his to his lips, and bring his hand back down on top of her own, placing a technical "kiss" on her hand. She bit the inside of her lip to keep from completely losing it, as she too mimicked his movements. She forced some of the tears back into her eyes, and sniffled again. She saw that Jay too was just about as emotional as she was. _God, was this really it for them? Was this the last thing she was going to remember?_ She didn't know if that was the worst part, or if the fact that she would remember Jay like this was even more so.

"Jay–" She tried, she really did. After she let her tears fall to the floor, being absorbed within seconds into the concrete, she looked back up at him, knowing she didn't have to finish the grim sentence. _He knew_. He always knew what she was going to say, or what she was thinking, sometimes before she knew it herself.

He only nodded, sniffling too. He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze, and he tried to soak up her essence. _Hailey_. _His Hailey_. The one he finally admitted his love for, and who loved him back with everything she had. He acknowledged the bittersweet moment, that one of the happiest times in his life was also one of the worst. How could something so beautiful be so tragic? It was a dichotomy he didn't want to think about any longer. So instead, he let himself get lost in the ocean. And when the ocean smiled back at him, he knew he hadn't just found the one in Hailey, but his home in her as well. He'd never felt more at peace in his life.


	8. Found & Lost

_A/N: Just a quick note - the second scene of this particular chapter does depict a bit more violent action. When I wrote it, the scene I was inspired by(? - feels weird to say that about something violent, but I digress...) – was in season 1 when both Jay and Adam unfortunately take beatings from that one pimp that also punched out Kim. Anyone know the episode I'm referring to? Well anyway, if you could watch that and be okay, my story is nothing short of that. Nothing to warrant an M-rating or anything like that; but just wanted to give a heads up. Okay, ramble over. Carry on & happy reading! _

* * *

"Adam, you got anything yet?" Voight's voice rang out in the open arena where the CPD computers were set up.

"Yeah boss, We caught the same car speeding down the 105 about a half hour after Hailey left with them. We couldn't make out if she was still inside or not though."

Voight sighed, ready to smack Adam over the head for being slow on the jump. Kevin noticed and took over, saving Adam's ass. Today had already been dramatic enough, no need for any more tension.

"Yeah, so we ran the plates. Car's registered to a Samuel Jacobs, 26, out of the Projects." A few more clicks to the keyboard later, and Kevin pulled up the link between Samuel and De'Von. "Looks like Samuel and De'Von were cell mates when their stays overlapped at Statesville a few years back. Now it looks like Samuel's become one of De'Von's right hand men." Kevin swiveled around in his chair, looking from Adam to Hank.

"Alright. Kim?" Voight asked, and the brunette was already standing up, tablet in hand, ready with intel.

"And we've got a deed, not in De'Von's name, but his mother's. Donna Jo Owens just bought a mansion in the Hills for 1.25 mill. A little rags to riches, don'tcha think?" She said, a smirk playing on her lips.

Voight nodded. "Alright, vest up and blackout. We hit 'em up on the low."

His detectives nodded in agreement, splitting up to grab their pistols and masks.

* * *

"Go! Go!" Kim yelled from the passenger seat. Adam sped through yet another red light, traffic be damned. The sirens were blaring from their cars, but it still didn't seem urgent enough to convey the seriousness of the situation. Not only were one of their detectives gone, but now two. And they were not about to lose two more people from the Intelligence Unit.

"Go left, make a left down Fulton!" Antonio's voice belled over their radios. Voight called back an affirmative, making the left-handed motion for Kevin to turn. He did so, seeing Kim and Adam following straight behind them. Kevin couldn't even feel his foot anymore, he was putting every bit of power into pushing the gas pedal. _Go go go_. That was the mentality for their broken-down unit right now. The quicker they got to De'Von's hideout, the sooner they got to Hailey and Jay.

Another few turns and they were met with a paper thin alleyway, their cars making a god awful screech against the brickstone. Their tires rumbled over the gravel, the evening sky falling around them, blanketing all of Chicago with a thick midnight air. They flipped their lights once they arrived at the warehouse, not wanting any signs of life for De'Von to see. Voight jumped out first, securing his pistol and slipping his mask on. Kevin followed suit, as did Kim and Adam. Once they matched the onyx environment around them, they made their move, positioning themselves against the back walls and doors. They did a silent sweep of the building, finding that there were no intelligent signs of life to be seen.

Voight motioned for them to reconvene. "Alright, we know they wouldn't have just gone down without a fight. There's no movement at all in there. We breach, full out. If Jay and Hailey aren't there, we do a grid search. Two Chicago cops aren't easy cargo to move, especially around here. We will get them. Let's hit it."

Kevin grabbed the door jam from the truck, Adam on his six ready with his gun. "Chicago PD!"

They cleared the first floor, moving to the basement where they found evidence that _someone_ had been there. They just weren't 100% sure if it was their detectives. At least, not until Adam spotted a tiny glint of metal in the corner of the basement.

"Hey guys, I think I got something." He moved over to the corner, carefully picking up the shiny object. He gripped his flashlight between his teeth, trying to get a better look. "I'll be damned." He said to no one in particular, though everyone heard since they had all gathered around him.

Kevin spoke up. "Well, bro, what is it?"

Adam snapped his head back. "It's Hailey's. It was her birthstone charm – a sapphire. She wore it on a bracelet all the time. She _was_ here. Which means Jay was too."

Voight nodded. "Alright, do a sweep here first. Lights on, checks done. Call on patrol to help secure the scene. Then we move out. Clear?"

The team nodded collectively. Their boss looked back before giving them a departing statement. "Let's go to work."

* * *

The end came sooner that either expected. Just as Jay and Hailey had settled into themselves together, all hell broke loose. De'Von and his two fix-it men came barreling through the doors, boots to the ground, sounding like bombs going off in this echo chamber of a room Jay and Hailey had been locked up in.

They rushed Hailey, ripping her from Jay's grasp. "What did you tell your unit?! We heard sirens!" De'Von shoved her against the wall, pinning her arms behind her back. "Not so tough now, are you?" He sneered as she struggled against him. She was sure her ankle was bleeding now, as she felt the chain tear her skin at the fast movements.

"Hey! Get your hands off of her! She didn't say or do anything! Come on man!" Jay said, his voice rocky but hard. His blood boiled at De'Von's hands on Hailey once again.

"Oh yeah?" De'Von said, nodding at his boys, who then came at Jay. He was up on his feet before the first blow, but De'Von's boys were not giving up. Jay came down sooner than expected, his head injury making him more hazed than he thought. A forceful kick to his shins brought him down to his knees, and one to the stomach took him down to the ground. Both men delivered hit after hit, Jay taking each one in pure agony.

"Stop it! Please! You're killing him!" Hailey screamed at De'Von, wrestling against his forceful grip on her arms. "God please!" She turned away out of sheer terror as one of the guys got Jay in the face. De'Von twisted her forward again, forcing her to watch in horror as Jay was practically being tortured. "Jay!" Hailey cried for him, for herself, for everything. That was the last thing she said before her neck was pricked, disorienting her into blackness.


	9. Fix a Heart

**A/N:** Hi guys, I'm back. Sorry for the slight delay...life got in the way, ha! But I'm trying to update regularly, so hopefully this longer chapter will tide you over. Oh, and I often listen to music (coincidentally songs that I've found from "Upstead" videos on YouTube, and while I was writing this chapter, there were 3 that I listened to. _"And the Snakes Start to Sing" by Bring Me to the Horizon_ (for the first part); and _"Follow You Down" by Matthew Mayfield_ for the hospital stuff. _"Sky's Still Blue" by Andrew Belle_ would work for that hospital part too. Okay, without further ado, here's the (shockingly) highly anticipated update. Hope it doesn't disappoint! And seriously, thank you guys so much for all the nice feedback! :)

* * *

"On my count," Voight started "Breach!"

Ruzek kicked in the door, and Kevin followed in behind him to clear the first floor. They were at the warehouse down the block from De'Von's mother's house, which they had struck out at earlier. This warehouse had been abandoned for a long while now, and what better hideout for a drug lord and his gangster crew? Let's just say, Voight got a couple young hustlers to talk and give up De'Von's location. He used that warehouse as a stash house; and apparently, as a police hostage house too.

Voight motioned for Kim to follow him down the hall where a door stood, looking almost like a vault entrance. They tried to pry it open, but it took all 4 of them to get it going. They twisted the latch and open it went. Voight held up his hand in a "shushing" motion, and his detectives followed him silently down the staircase. When they reached the end, they fanned out, guns drawn and flashlights in hand.

They could make out a table and a couple chairs, along with a mountain of uncut cocaine and whatever other slew of dope De'Von was known for slinging. They cleared the perimeter, no sign of De'Von, Samuel, or Jay and Hailey.

They were just about to move out when Kim's foot hit something. She clenched her teeth so she wouldn't yelp at the stabbing pain in her toes. When she turned her flashlight on it, she saw it was another door. This one looked to be wooden, boarded up like a bunker.

"Kev, you still got that nail bit?" Adam asked, teething his flashlight again as he knelt down by the new door.

"I gotcha," Kevin replied, reaching into his pocket to pull out the tool. Adam took it from him, and went to work, digging the nail head into the wood, twisting it until the makeshift lock came loose. He and Kevin were then able to lift up the heavy doorframe, allowing Kim and Voight to enter first.

There weren't really concrete stairs, but more a steep slope as you went down into the entryway. The walls were stone, the floor concrete. They were met with a slight fork in the road, deciding to split up. Kevin and Hank took the right, Kim and Adam the left.

"Clear!" Voight yelled down the hall. When he didn't hear a response from either of his other two detectives, he and Kevin called out to them.

"Adam? Kim?"  
"You guys good?"

They took off running when they heard Kim scream.

"Kim?"  
"What's-"

Voight didn't finish his sentence, because out of the corner of his eye, he was met with every cop's worst nightmare.

There in that chilling dungeon, lie Jay and Hailey.

Adam had his hands full consoling Kim, but when Voight asked if they had checked their vitals, the pair looked at him with hopeless eyes.

"No no no," he said, each syllable punctuating with grief and disbelief. _They would not go out like this._

Hank went to Jay first, seeing as he was the most bloodied. He found a heavy weighted pulse, beats coming slower and more sporadically than normal, but nevertheless it was there. Jay was alive, holding on by a thread.

"He's alive! Get a bus!" Voight yelled, his voice bouncing off the walls, making the order seem that much more urgent.

Adam and Kim looked at him, then back at each other with relief. Oh god, but what about Hailey?

Kim rushed over to her colleagues aide, not getting anything from her wrist. She went to check Hailey's neck, and that's when she saw it. The needle mark. Kim immediately went back to Hailey's arm, looking for track marks. Son of bitches shot her up with their own drugs.

"Oh god, tell the ambo we've got an overdose!" Kim said, panic settling into her voice. "Oh no, Hailey!"

Adam bent down and helped Kim to get Hailey up, while Kevin helped Voight clean up Jay's face, which look like it went two rounds with a baseball bat.

It was only when they heard sirens that they all let out a collective sigh. _They just may have a chance after all._

Brett and Foster were the arriving EMTs. Adam was going to go brief them with Kim, when Voight pulled him to the side.

"You seeing that?" Voight made a motion to another exit door. It was cracked open, and shadows were playing off the walls and door itself. _Someone's here_.

Adam nodded, understanding what had to happen next. While Kim and Kevin rode along to Med with Jay and Hailey, Adam and Voight stormed through that door, ready for war with whoever was on the other side.

* * *

"**CHICAGO PD**! Let me see your hands!"

Adam's voice was the harshest it had been in a long time. Who could blame him? Two of his friends were clinging to life because of these purely evil individuals.

He watched as his sergeant paraded forward, no gun, just anger seeping through his very being.

He went right up to De'Von, grabbing his shirt collar and throwing him against the wall.

"You know who I am?" Voight asked rhetorically.

"Aw shit, man. So, she really did call the cops on us? That bitch," De'Von spat out. Voight slammed him back into the wall, the only sound was an audible crack of skull to cement.

"**You know what, say that again**!" Adam yelled, rushing at De'Von, fisticuffs up. Voight held up his hand, and Adam slowed.

"Get them." He ordered, nodding at the other two men who actually listened and had their hands raised. Adam swiftly cuffed the two offenders, hauling them out to the awaiting patrol car.

Hank turned his attention back to De'Von, who was smirking in his grasp. "I don't have time for this. You know what you did to my two detectives, and you'll be lucky if I don't carry you out in sandwich bags or rinse you off the walls."

"It's Voight, right? Right. Look, it's not my fault your boy wanted to jam me up."

Voight smacked him upside his head. "He's _not_ a Narc, **so you wanna try that again**?"

De'Von continued to smirk, which made Voight punch him square in the face. He then smiled at Hank, showing off a blood stained set of teeth. "Alright, fine. I'm sorry we couldn't make the deal work. But hey, Blondie was the one who went all GI Jane on my men. I don't take that disrespect."

Now it was De'Von who was brought to his knees by a kick in the legs. Voight grabbed him by the hair, and De'Von was straining to look up. The enraged sergeant spoke again. "You wanna know what I don't take?" He pulled at De'Von's head again for emphasis. When he didn't respond, Voight continued: "I don't take well to people hurting cops, let alone the ones in my unit. You get me?"

De'Von let out a sinister laugh. "They only got what they deserved. You get _me_?"

A knee in the jaw and a boot on his neck was what _he _deserved, and that's exactly what he got from Voight before Adam came back.

"Boss?" He tried.

"Not now, Adam!" Voight said.

"Boss!" Adam tried again, more force behind his tone.

Voight finally looked up at his detective, who was bereft of anything but urgency. "What?"

"They made it to Med, but they're both critical. We should go."

He nodded, not absorbing the information, but rather letting it drift in and out of his mind. "Yeah, okay. Get him out of my sight." He shoved De'Von over to Ruzek.

"Hold up," Adam said, tugging De'Von to face him. One kick to the face first. "**That **was for Jay," Adam snapped before delivering another kick to De'Von's groin. "And that, **that** was for Hailey. You better hope they pull through, you son of a bitch."

* * *

Hailey never thought she'd see any light of day ever again, let alone the glaring white hospital ones. But that's what she was greeted with when she woke up.

Her eyelids felt heavy as she attempted to take in her surroundings. She went to sit up, feeling the telltale tug of an IV in her arm. She turned to see that she in fact being given fluids through the tiny tube. She tried again, gripping the handrails on her bed. She managed to sit up, but felt a sharp pain ripping through her side near her rib cage. Suddenly, everything came flooding back to her: _the fight, the gun, the confession she made to Jay. Oh god, Jay._ Hailey let out a hollowed sob , as her voice felt like it was made of sandpaper. Regardless, she pushed her call button immediately, drawing Dr. Rhodes in right away.

"Oh good, you're awake-"

Hailey cut him off. "Jay," she rasped. "Where's Jay?"

Connor came over to her bedside. "He's alright, he's hurting, much like you are, but he'll live. Will's just finishing setting his nose. Jay took one hell of a knock to his face."

Hailey felt her throat close up, and she choked on another sob. All she could see was red. _Jay being kicked, beaten, bruised. Her screaming pleas for them to stop hurting him. _She looked back up at Connor with wide eyes, opening her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She watched him look at her, then back down at his charts, then back at her.

"Here, come on, lay back again, okay? I'll get a nurse in here to check your vitals, and I'll personally page Will on Jay's condition, alright?" He turned his head downward, putting the pager to his mouth. "Dr. Halstead to Baghdad, Trauma 2, Dr. Halstead to Baghdad, Trauma 2."

Hailey felt the knot in her stomach untwist itself a little bit at the sight of Jay's older brother, Will. She unsurprisingly spotted his red hair first before seeing his face. He came in, stehescope around his neck, latex gloves still on. "Hailey." He simply said, a big smile crossing his face. "Thank god you're awake. How're you feeling?"

Hailey caught Connor furiously shaking his head at Will, as if to say, _No you idiot. She wants to know about Jay_. He rolled his eyes when Will didn't notice at first, which made Hailey's lip tick upward. _Boys_, she thought. She wondered if Will and Jay were like this too, telling jokes and making each other grin like dummies. Hailey had seen Will in passing, both in the hospital and at Molly's, but they never really got to know each other too well. _Maybe this could be all of their second chances_. She allowed herself to fully smile at the promise.

She was brought out of her internal dialogue when Connor vocalized his frustrations. "**Will**! Man, Hailey just wants to know how Jay is! **That's** why I called you…you…chatterbox." He sighed, deciding to leave the room and let the two talk.

Will laughed at his colleague before taking a few more steps towards Hailey. "Can I sit?" he asked, tentatively hovering over the edge of her bed. She nodded, and he took his place.

"Jay?" She asked, picking at the tie of her hospital gown.

Will touched her shoulder in reassurance. "He's alright. I mean, he took one hell of a beating, those guys did a number on him. But despite all the blood, his injuries weren't as serious as I would have thought. Laceration on his cheek, stitches at the side of his head, and a couple broken ribs. Not to mention one hell of a concussion. And, as Connor told you, I did have to reset his nose, it did get broken, but it's all good now. Now you," he paused, turning her to face him "had quite the journey too. We had to pump your stomach to get all the coke out of your system, give you stitches on your side where the bullet grazed you, and you too, have a concussion. Not to mention a sprained wrist and a nasty gash on your ankle from that chain. When De'Von grabbed you up, that's when the chain broke through the skin and cut into you."

She nodded, taking into account the bandages on her wrist and ankle, as well as committing to memory that the stitches were what was bugging her earlier. _Yeah, that makes sense_. "Can I see him?" Hailey asked, her eyes already feeling watery. She knew she could trust Will's word, but until she _saw_ her partner, she wouldn't truly believe he was okay.

Will nodded, helping her up and dragging her IV hookup behind her. "He's just down the hall from you, actually. Since you both are all stitched up, you got to move out of Trauma 3 and into 2. Just for a couple days. You both took hits to the head, so a 48-hour observation is required. Sorry." He said, shrugging.

Hailey looked back at him, saying it was alright. They arrived at Jay's room, and Hailey was suddenly very nervous. _Don't be, he's still the same Jay you know…and love_, she reminded herself. She composed herself, and Will pulled back the curtain. "Jay, look! You've got your first visitor that isn't me!" He teased his little brother, who automatically rolled his eyes at the joke.

Hailey almost melted into a puddle on the hospital floor when she saw Jay light back up. He gave her his signature soft smile, and she could still see the emerald in his eyes, despite the injuries around his face. "Do I look as bad as I feel?" He asked her, before crafting a smirk.

"Eh, you're alright." She said, her own smirk coming out to play. She carefully made her way to his hospital bed, and he automatically shifted over to make space for her. She rolled her eyes, but was secretly glad he wanted her to stay for a while. She just didn't want herself being here to make his PTSD worse. _Though the hellish 36 hours we've had already did that_. She knew that they'd probably both have to deal with flashbacks, but she could never imagine how it must be for Jay. She pushed the worries to the side right now, allowing all the space in her brain to be filled up by _him_: his ridiculously sexy smile, his bright green eyes, how he always seemed to smell like peppermint, which reminded Hailey of her favorite holiday (Christmas), and the way he naturally was when they hugged – warm, and comforting.

She folded herself against him, getting into a comfortable enough position in spite of the IV bag and awkward hospital gown. She noticed he was wearing one of the standard issue patient paper bags (_because that's how big they were_, she had once told him as they left Med – as to _what they should really call hospital gowns_). She settled her head against his chest, being careful not to wrap her arm around his waist, as to not hit his ribs. She decided to hold his hand instead, with her good hand, of course. His head was propped up against hers, his arm slung around her shoulder.

"Hailey?" He whispered, and she noticed his voice was just as hoarse as her own. _All that screaming_.

"Yeah?" She looked up at him, finding his eyes doing that thing again. Searching hers, as if she had some magic answer he desperately needed in his life. She knew _he_ was _her_ answer; but what if now that they were out of this whole mess, things changed between them?

As if reading her mind, he answered with: "I just want you to know, what I said before–" he paused, gauging her reaction. She nodded for him to continue. "…I meant every word. Genuinely, honestly, and whole-heartedly." He sighed, the hand that was by her shoulder now coming around to cup her cheek. "God I love you." He said it so matter-of-factly, Hailey was sure she was still in a daze. But when she saw his face, again, she knew. She knew him. And she knew how serious he was. And damn if she didn't love that _she_ was the thing he was serious about.

"I love you too." She said, squeezing his hand. She definitely felt the tears from earlier coming back, threatening to fall at any moment. She just couldn't believe they made it, and that they were here. _Together_. So, when he tipped her chin up and his lips _finally_ (painstakingly slow, mind you) met hers, she knew that this was one reality she'd always remember.


	10. Five Feet Apart

Jay stirred from his sleep, smiling down at the sleeping beauty next to him. Hailey looked so tiny, all tucked into him like that. She had turned on her right side, which Jay assumed was the uninjured one, had one hand underneath his back, and the other against his arm. She was sound asleep, and must have been out cold since she didn't move when he brushed the hair from her face. He studied her, taking inventory of what she had gone through. He flashed back to the sucker-punched feeling he had when she was literally ripped away from him. He figured that's how she must have felt when he was shot: like he was lost forever. And he couldn't imagine Hailey being gone from his life. So of course, he impulsively tried to protect her, but didn't count on how harshly De'Von and his guys would retaliate. He was taking note of her bandages when he felt her shift beside him.

She yawned, lazily looking at him. "Hi," she said, her voice dulled by sleep.  
"Hey," he replied, helping them both to sit up in a more comfortable position.

Even still, Hailey laid her head on his shoulder. "How're you doing?" She whispered, slipping her hand from behind him and instead putting it with his hand.

Jay's thumb ran circles over the top of her hand as he was contemplating his answer. "I'm always better when you're here." He kissed her forehead, and Hailey nuzzled herself into his neck. It was only when he felt a few tears on his skin that he realized she was crying.

"Hey, hey," he tried, pulling away to make her look at him. "Hailey, it's okay. We're okay."

She slowly looked up at him, her usually vibrant blue eyes held a sad paleness, and were greying by the tears that blurred them. "Jay, we're so not okay. This is all my fault! If I hadn't of gone rogue then I wouldn't have fought with De'Von and his crew. And if I didn't fight them, then you wouldn't have been tortured, and we wouldn't be in this fucking hospital feeling like broken down china dolls!" She paused, sniffling a little. "I just, God Jay, I'm so sorry. I–" Her voice cracked under the weight of her sorrow. "I thought you were going to die...I thought I was going to die in there, too. But I couldn't handle the thought of you losing your life because of me. I'd give up everything if it meant you'd be okay. I just want to make sure you know that."

Jay gently reached up and wiped a few tears from her cheeks. "Hailey..." he said, just as intensely as he always had when they had serious conversations. "This isn't on you. None of this is your fault. I'm the one that went so far down the rabbit hole that I bought off a drug lord. I just...I needed that escape. That fix...at least what I _thought_ was going to fix everything. I was stupid, and selfish. If anyone's to blame, it's me. I feel so guilty that you got dragged into all of it. I mean, Jesus, De'Von's lucky he's still breathing right now, because if I wasn't banged up, you'd better believe he'd be at the bottom of the river. When he grabbed you away from me, I had never felt so destroyed in my life. I also had never wanted anyone dead as much as I wanted him to be for putting his hands on you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Hailey."

He too began to tear up, and Hailey hugged him closer to her, the both of them gripping onto each other like their lives depended on it. _Honestly, it did_. As distant as they had been lately, this experience strangely brought them closer together. Jay tried to pinpoint that phrase everyone always said. _What was it?_ _You don't know what you had until it's gone? _He always knew Hailey was an important part of his life. But it took almost losing her to realize how she was not only an important piece of his life, but the _best_ part of his life, of himself.

Hailey hadn't said anything, as her mind was still reeling from Jay's heartfelt confession. She never wanted him to feel this bad. She never wanted any negativity for him...she had seen him down before. It was like he was lost, and she wanted desperately to be the one to help him find himself again. She knew he was such an integral piece of her life. Hell, she knew that the first time she met him. _There was just something about him_. She knew when she was permanently placed in Intelligence that she could trust him...even if they didn't always see eye to eye. She just didn't realize the magnitude of her feelings for him until this whole thing went down. She sighed, looking at the man she nearly came close to losing just a day before. Luck or fate or whatever higher power must have been on their side for it to work out how it did. She couldn't be more thankful for that.

She leaned up and kissed him, harder than their first, and with more passion than she'd ever felt. She just wanted to pour all of her emotions into that kiss, to remember every little piece of the moment. From the way his mouth melded to hers, to how perfectly their arms intertwined. She arched her eyebrows in surprise when she felt him brush his tongue against her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She granted it, allowing her feelings to take the reins now, as she wrapped her hands around his neck and felt his come up to cup her face.

He was the one to break the spell, pulling back ever so slightly. His eyes held a new intensity Hailey wasn't used to. He cocked a brow in her direction. "What was that for?" He smirked, acting like he knew her answer.

Hailey rolled her eyes, but couldn't keep the smile from breaking across her face. "Because I wanted to. Really and truly just wanted to be able to do that again. To make sure it's real."

He guided her hand from his neck to his chest, placing it over his heart. Hailey could feel it beating rapidly, realizing it probably matched her owns pace. "This? This right here that I'm feeling because of you? That's all the proof I need Hailey."

She took it on good faith to grab his hand and do the same, and watched his eyes light up with joy, pure happiness replacing the fire from earlier. She felt her eyes tear up again, but this time when she let the tears fall, she knew they were from happiness. They were together. They needed and wanted to be together. They weren't supposed to be anywhere else.

* * *

"You wanna say that again? I must not have heard you correctly." Voight asked the new DA that stood before him. The Ivory Tower hired a new district attorney to represent in police procedure cases, including kidnapping, assault, hits, etc. on detectives or patrol. He glowered at the young attorney – Trevor Knolls – who wasn't backing down.

"I stand by my decision. I cannot prosecute him for the assault. The only testimony I would have is from Hailey Upton, who, as you relayed to me, was doped up out of her mind while the incident occurred. I can only hold him for the kidnapping of Detective Jay Halstead." Trevor stood up from his desk, and began to pack up his briefcase.

"Wait a minute," Voight growled, pushing him back down into his chair. "We're not done here. You will not disregard the rest of their ordeal. What they–" he tried to remain stoic, but his voice broke slightly for his detectives, who were practically his second family. "...What they went through is insurmountable, unbelievable, and frankly, horrifying. None of us can imagine. None of us want to. Can you please, just make something stick?"

Trevor sighed, his demeanor softening at the sergeant's obvious care for his squad. "I will look into it, see what I can do. In the meantime, go visit your detectives. They need you; they need their whole team right now."

Voight nodded, thanking the attorney before heading out to Med.

* * *

When he arrived at the hospital, he was greeted by a slightly surprising sight. Adam and Kim had brought food into the waiting room, where Antonio, Kevin, and Platt sat in a circle. Platt looked up from her Chinese takeout container, acknowledging Voight's arrival. "Hank," she stated, getting up from her chair to shake his hand. "They've been asking for you." She said, looking at him carefully. "They want an update on De'Von and Samuel." She gave him a good luck pat on the back. Voight sighed, but nodded in agreement.

He wandered into Jay's room first, smiling at Hailey sitting in a chair next to his bed, her IV hookup beside her. They were bent over Hailey's phone, scrolling through photos of her brother's new baby girl. Jay looked up first, noticing their boss in the doorway. "Hey Sarge," he said, coughing to distract as Hailey inched herself back into her chair.

"Hey you two. How're you holding up?" He grabbed the other chair across the way, taking a seat at the other side of Jay's bed so he could see the both of them.

Hailey and Jay shared a look, before answering "Fine" together. The 3 of them chuckled at the sentiment.

"So Sarge," Jay hesitantly began "What's the news on De'Von and his crew?"

"Yeah, what're the charges being brought?" Hailey questioned, leaning in to hear.

Voight stared back at his two detectives with a heavy heart. "It's not exactly what we wanted – _yet_" he quickly added, noticing their change in expressions. "We've got him on the abduction, but not the assault."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jay asked in disbelief. Hailey buried her head in her hands. _No, no, no. This cannot be happening._

"Why?" Jay's voice broke through the brief moment of silence.

Voight shook his head, sucking in a deep breath before giving them the unfortunate news. "They don't have enough evidence to hold them on it. It's–" He watched with sadness as Hailey peeked up from her hands.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Her voice was paper thin, whisper soft.

Jay's head whipped around to her. "What? Hailey, god no. Just wait a second..." he tried to make sense of it, but Hailey spoke again, interrupting his thought processing.

"Jay," she tried, a warning tone in her voice. "Stop," she murmured. She let her head drop back into her hands in defeat. She didn't even try to stop the tears as they fell. Jay swung his legs around so he could slide to hug Hailey.

She tried to shake him off, but he just held her tighter. Voight felt like his presence was more detrimental to them than it was supposed to be, so he quietly slipped out, leaving them to deal with the bombshell that was dropped.

Hailey was done crying. She shrugged Jay off her shoulders, and he gave up, taking his original position back on his bed. "Hailey, I was just–" he began, but she cut him off.

"No, Jay, how can you do this?" She felt her lip quiver. "How can you not_" _The other four words weren't audible in Jay's ears.

"What?" he asked, genuinely missing what she just said.

She squinted, attempting to stifle the remaining tears. "_Hate me for this_...?"

"Hailey, please, please don't do this." He pleaded with her, his green eyes threatening to fill up with tears.

"No, no, no!" She cried. "This just proves it...god, I was right all along! This is on me. I could've gotten you killed, Jay. Don't you get that?! If they didn't find us, our families would be attending our _funerals_ right now! Oh my God, I can't believe this!" She felt her voice shatter along with her heart again with each word she spoke. "I shouldn't've...I messed everything up. I can't...I can't be here right now."

Jay grabbed at her arm, silently begging her to stay, but Hailey whisked it away. Her head hung low in embarrassment and disappointment. "Hailey," it was his voice that snapped in half now.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed, as she turned away and closed the door, not wanting him to see her collapse on the floor.


	11. Wise Words

"Boss, what's up? Is everything okay with Jay?" Adam asked as Hank came out of the room, looking a bit dejected.

"Hm?" Voight looked from Adam to the rest of his unit. They were all anticipating the state of their colleagues. "They're okay, nothing like that." He ran a hand over his face. "Their case however, isn't looking the best right now."

"What?" Platt uttered, standing up to meet Hank at the front. "Hank, we– you got 'em." She placed a hand on his shoulder. Voight just sighed before continuing.

"We got De'Von dead to rights on Jay's kidnapping, but the assault? The new DA, Knolls, he isn't sure if he can make the assault charge stick."

"Why's that?" Kim asked.

"He said that because Hailey was coked out, her testimony won't hold up in court. He's looking into it, but right now, it's not looking good for the beating Jay took. We need to stick together, understand? I think Hailey is blaming herself for all of it, and the both of them have already been through so much. They need our support." He gave them all a solemn smile.

"Of course," Kevin said.  
"Always." Antonio echoed.  
"We're gonna fight this." Adam lamented.  
"We'll get through this." Kim added.  
Platt nodded, solidifying their words.

Voight felt a slight bit of hope at the end of the road. As he looked at each member of his unit, he knew that no matter what happened, they would always have each other's backs. Even if the outcome wasn't what they expected, he's never been prouder to lead the 21st.

* * *

Jay's head felt heavy. Partially due to the pain meds, but also because of the weight of his thoughts. All he could think about was Hailey. _When has he ever thought of anything else though_? He sighed, running his hand over his face. He let out a frustrated groan.

"Hey, little brother." Will decided at that exact moment to poke his ginger head in where it didn't belong.

Jay rolled his eyes, but Will came in anyway. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger." He said.

Jay frowned. "What're you getting at, Will?"

"Voight wanted me to let you know that he, Kim, Adam, Kevin, Antonio, and Platt are working overtime to make those charges stick. They are combing through security footage, witnesses, going at Samuel and Ricky– the other one of De'Von's main men– again. They aren't quitting until they get something solid to nail De'Von's ass to the wall. Voight's words, not mine." Will added, smirking.

Jay felt his mouth draw itself into a thin line. "I figured as much. I just wish Hailey could understand that I don't blame her. Not for one second. I could never, I would never. Man, I finally laid everything out on the table, as did she, and then this whole thing is gonna blow up in our faces!" Jay buried his head in his hands now.

Will sat down on the edge of his bed. "Hey, come on now. You know Hailey, she's an empath. She takes on every feeling, every thought…and from what you've told me, she does it with so much energy that she barely has any left for herself."

Jay looked at him, trying to telepathically communicate that this was not exactly helping him feel better. He already knew that about Hailey. It was one of the many qualities he loved about her. He opened his mouth to say something when Will held an open-mouthed grin.

"Wait," he started, his smile growing so wide he challenged the Grinch. "Did you just say what I think you just said? You actually told Hailey how you felt?!" He clapped his hands excitedly. "Way to go, Detective _Loooove_." He teased, and Jay smacked his shoulder.

"Dude, you're the worst right now!" He scoffed, but he couldn't hide the blush that crept up his cheeks.

"Ah, or am I the best? Because I, have an idea as to how you can unfuck this situation."

Jay suspiciously eyed his older brother. "Will, I swear, if this involves some grand gesture, I will _personally_ put you in one of these hospital beds…"

Will held up his hands, stalling Jay's rant. "No, no! Just trust me."

Jay groaned. "Do I have a choice?"

Will shook his head. "No, not really. Now," he paused, pulling his med pad and a pen out of his pocket. "Tell me everything you know about Hailey."

Jay rolled his eyes, but as soon as he began to think of her, he couldn't help but notice the instant happiness that warmed his whole body.

* * *

"Hey Hails," Adam said as Hailey was getting herself back into bed.

"Jesus Christ Adam! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I didn't hear you come in!" Hailey scolded, her hand over her chest.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. He sat down on the chair next to her bed. "So," he started to say, waiting for her to get fully comfortable. She fluffed her pillow before signaling him to get on with it. "I heard about the charges."

Hailey's eyes grew a little wider, but she composed herself just as quickly. "I'm fine, Adam. We'll be fine." She shook her head, avoiding his prying eyes.

"Hailey, even _I_, Mr. Oblivious, can see you're not fine with this. But you've gotta stop beating yourself up. You know, and I know, and _Jay_ knows, that this is only one person's fault. And that asshat is locked up in the cage right now as we speak."

"But Adam, if it wasn't for me, then Jay–"

"Would be _dead_ right now, Hailey. **Dead**. _As in, not here_. Why can you not see that?" He watched as tears formed behind his unofficial exes' eyes.

"I– I just keep thinking that if I hadn't gone off the handle then we would've both been able to get out of there unscathed."

"Hailey, this crew has had like, 50 kills under their belt in this year alone. The fact that you guys survived, that in and of itself is something to marvel at. You, yes _you_, saved Jay's life."

"Adam–" she said, her voice laced with uncertainty.

"No, let me finish." He said firmly. He softened his features as he said the next part though. "And you wanna know _why_ you did? Because you and him, you guys **work**. No matter if it's just as friends, partners….though I suspect it's more than that," he paused, winking. Hailey blushed at this. "You were the one who could get him back. You know him, you trust him. You have that bond that can't be broken. And you fought like hell because you would do anything and everything to get him back. I mean, any of us would, but you–"

Hailey smiled, giving his hand an appreciative squeeze.

"You went in knowing that there was a chance you wouldn't come out. You did this regardless of the risk. And that's just about the bravest thing ever. Not for one second are those the actions of someone who is at fault. Those, those are the actions of a _hero_. And I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are so glad you both made it through. I can bet Jay's happier than ever to see you. I know you two had your problems, but you put all that aside for this. You're a fucking badass, you know that?"

He pulled her into a friendly side hug. Hailey sniffled, but thanked him.

"Feeling better?" He asked her, handing her a tissue.

Hailey dabbed at her eyes. "Yeah, I am."

Adam broke into a stupid grin. "Good, because now you can go make up with Jay."

Hailey's eyes were as wide as saucers. She smacked his shoulder. "Wh–I–" she stammered.

Adam shrugged, shaking his head and chuckling as he hopped up from his spot. "Hails, you guys belong together. Alright? Make it work."

"Please, for the love of God!" Kim cried from outside her door. Adam quickly turned around, then back to Hailey, lifting his arms up in an '_I don't know what she's saying_' motion.

Hailey let out a vibrant laugh, acknowledging their scheming. "You two are the worst!"

Adam held up his hands in defense. "Hey, she made me!" He laughed, pointing at Kim through the door.

"It's true, I did!" She confessed, poking her head in for effect. "Hailey, you two bring out the best in each other. I know Adam said it, but I'm saying it too! **Y****ou.** **Guys.** **Work**. That's just that. Sometimes you just _know_, y'know?" She added, winking.

Adam wiggled his brows, jumping out the door, giving Hailey the peace sign as he went to go grab Kim.

Hailey sighed, sitting back and taking a second. Yeah, if Adam and Kim can apparently get their shit together, why can't Jay and me? She took a deep breath. _You're in love with him, you big dummy. Just go after him and tell him exactly that. You, Hailey Upton, are unapologetically, all encompassing, without fail, head over heels in love with Jay Halstead. _

She hollered at Kim to come back to her room. She needed a change of clothes. She wasn't about to kiss and makeup in that godforsaken patient paper bag, after all.


	12. Getting Back to Normal

**A/N: **I'm back with another update, this one a little bit longer than the last. Hopefully it'll hold you over the holiday week-end (Fourth of July, for those that are familiar/celebrate it). Enjoy all the Upsteady-ness – this one's a good one, I promise! :)

* * *

The midnight into morning hours were blurs for Hailey, Jay, and the rest of the Intelligence unit. At the hospital, Jay and Hailey were getting interrupted sleep due to the nurses coming to check their vitals or change their bandages every few hours. The only sounds they heard for 8 hours were the beeps of machines and the ripping of gauze and medical tape. Not the best 24 hours they've had, to say the least.

At the district, Kim, Adam, Kevin, Antonio, Voight, and Platt were tirelessly running down every lead into getting that charge to stick. They canvased the area around the crime scene, talked to De'Von's mother, looked at security footage from the bank across the street, but they had nothing solid to prove that De'Von and his crew were in fact responsible for the attack on Jay (and Hailey, for that matter). It was late, nearing 1AM, and they were all about to call it a night, when Kevin received a phone call.

"Uh-huh, yeah. Okay, yep, thank you. Bye." He quickly hung up and ran into Voight's office. "Yo Sarge, we caught a break! A CI of mine lives a couple streets over from De'Von's mom's house, and he was out making a run to the corner store when he heard screaming. Distinctly a woman's voice yelling to "Stop, please. You're killing him!" Just as he was going to turn around and check it out, it stopped. He didn't push it further, but he knows it was coming from the same area he saw - who we now know to be De'Von entering with Jay and Hailey. So that proves that Hailey was awake and aware, right? Is that enough?" Kevin looked at Hank with a desperation in his eyes.

Voight nodded. "Get it on paper. Have him sign a statement so we can send it to Knolls in the morning."

* * *

"Okay, that's it, I've had it." Jay said, throwing up his hands in frustration. He looked at Will, who had just checked his stats. "No more tests, no more needles, no more of all this." He reinforced his statement with a glare.

Will nodded and told him he understood. "Jay, this is the last run okay? You and Hailey will see a trauma doc in a couple hours, and they should give you the go-ahead to discharge tonight. So just sit tight, okay? How're you doing otherwise? Have you talked to Hailey at all since last night?"

Jay furiously shook his head, worry riddling its way through his body. "No. But I don't know what else I can say to make her believe me, you know?"

"Maybe you can _show _her instead." Will said, dropping a gray dress shirt and black pants into Jay's lap.

Jay looked at him with confusion. "Um, Will? You know I'm still injured, right? I can't get all dressed up and take Hailey somewhere so we can sort all this out! What're you thinking?"

Will only grinned. "Leave that to me. Well, me, Adam, and Kim. We got this. All you have to do is put those on before 8PM tonight. Okay? 6 hours from now, you'll be thanking me, I promise."

Jay eyed his brother, but nodded in agreement. "Fine, but you're helping me wrangle this," he said, pointing to his bedhead.

Will laughed. "Deal."

Almost adjacent to Jay's room sat Hailey, arguing with Kim over her choice of dress. "Kim, I can't wear that, are you kidding me?"

Kim gave Hailey an exasperated glance. "Hailey, come on, it'll look so pretty on you! You had it hiding in the back of your closet, why not bring it out to wear?" She held up the bright red bandage dress again, giving her one last plea.

Hailey stood by her decision. "Did you bring the other ones? I have a white ruffled one, an LBD, and that navy one-"

Kim held back a laugh. "What, you mean the one from your academy days? Hailey, you're too much; that one's seen better days. Come on, if you won't wear the red one, at least promise me you won't wear the black one. That says **funeral**, which is _so_ not what we're trying to go for here!"

Hailey raised her brows. "And what _are _we going for exactly, Kim? Because neither you nor Adam have told me **anything **about what's happening! You know we can't leave this hospital, right? So, I don't know what putting me in a dress is gonna do..."

"Hailey!" Kim said, her tone a bit too severe. She placed her hands on Hailey's shoulders, dialing it back a bit. "Just trust me. You're going to be glad you got ready."

As if on cue, Kim pulled out some makeup and let Hailey pick what she wanted. She chose _a_ _lot _of concealer, given that hospital under eye bags were not in fashion this year; a little bit of black eyeliner, and Strawberry Chapstick. She could feel Kim's eyes on her.

"What?" Hailey followed Kim's eyes to the Chapstick. "So, I hate cherry. Sue me." She replied, a small smile tracing her lips.

Kim smiled back at her, offering to help her straighten her hair. Hailey agreed, and let Kim lay out everything she would need for tonight. _Whatever happened, she just hoped it was worth it._

* * *

"Adam? Kim? How you guys coming on those string lights?" Will called from the kitchenette area of the staff lounge. He was busy putting slices of Lou's deep dish onto plates and pouring Concord 1982 vino into glasses for Jay and Hailey's "date" tonight. Adam and Kim were supposed to be stringing little lights around the edge of the room, and making sure the ambience was right. When Will came out he was not entirely surprised to find Ruzek tangled up in the last string of lights, and Kim racing around in circles trying to untangle him. Will burst out laughing at the sight. Of course. He ran a hand over his face, trying to remain calm. It was 10 till 8 and he knew Jay and Hailey would be coming downstairs any minute.

"Here," he said, helping Kim undo the loop Adam had unintentionally created. Once that fiasco was dealt with, the 3 of them managed to get the table setting in place and the food was arranged properly.

"Okay." They said in unison, looking at their hard work and back at each other, as if to silently confirm their pride yet simultaneous nerves at how their little plot would be received.

"Let's go get the two most stubborn people alive," Kim started. Adam tagged on, "And get them back together already!"

Will smiled, following behind them to get Jay and Hailey.

* * *

Hailey smoothed out her hair for the millionth time. She knew she should have just had Kim braid it, but she'd had it pulled back into a god awful almost-falling out ponytail. She figured a smoother look would be fun for tonight. She tugged at the sleeves of her cardigan. She insisted Kim bring one, first off just to cover her wrist in case she got self-conscious of it; and two because she was absolutely sure she'd freeze if she went out in only her tank top strapped dress. She was just glad that the makeup did magic when it came to making her look alive. Her eyes were brighter and had a little bit of that smolder back which only eyeliner could give. She just hoped she didn't look like she was trying too hard.

She nodded, surmising that this was as good as it was gonna get. She couldn't help but wonder what Jay was doing right now. She knew they were both being discharged this evening, but Kim and Adam said they had to celebrate first before she officially left the hospital. Maybe Jay was invited to this little get together too. She secretly hoped so. Even though she didn't necessarily know if she could face him, she knew she'd never be able to stay away either.

"Hails, you all ready?" Adam hollered, peeking in with a hand over his eyes.

"You idiot. Nothing you haven't seen before anyway," Hailey snorted.

"Yeah, okay," Adam agreed, slipping back out to let Kim in.

"Okay, okay, lemme see!" Kim squealed, giving Hailey space to do a little twirl in her dress.

"Ta-da," she said with a little enthusiasm. "All ready for whatever the hell you two have cooked up. This better be good." She said, a smirk on her lips.

"Don't worry Hailey, this'll be good."

Meanwhile, Jay too was finishing preparing for this little ploy. He had buttoned and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt like 10 times. He was so nervous, partly because he had no freaking idea what Will had up his sleeve, but also because he really wanted to see Hailey. He just wanted to tell her how none of it mattered. None of it mattered, because the only thing that mattered to him was sitting right in front of him. Her. Hailey was what mattered to him. Didn't matter as much how they got here, but where they go from here. And he'd go anywhere with Hailey.

"Bro, you ready?" Will asked, slipping into his room. "I brought you something. Adam gave it to me, actually." He stepped forward to Jay, who had finally let the button on his shirt be.

"Here," he said, handing him a small blue box.

"What's this?" Jay asked.

"Open it." Will whispered. Inside was Hailey's sapphire bracelet, reset and ready for wear again.

"Where'd you find this?" Jay asked, looking from the box back to his brother.

"Like I said, Adam gave it to me. They found it in the house you and Hailey were first in." He didn't need to say much more than that, because Jay remembered it all too well.

_The cold floor of the room he woke up in originally. The tattered couch he was thrown on when he first saw Hailey. The deafening sound of shattering glass. He still couldn't believe they were passed out for long enough to be moved to a stash house. Insanity. _

He shuddered, wanting nothing to ruin this for him. He stiffly smiled, thanking Will for the box. _Hailey will love having this back_, he reminded himself.

"Okay Jay, you ready?" Will asked, holding open his door. Jay nodded, clapping his brother on the shoulder in an appreciative gesture. Here goes nothing.

He walked slowly down the hallway and to the elevator, taking it down to the first floor. Will had told him to go to the third door on the left when he got downstairs. Jay did as instructed, standing face to face with the STAFF LOUNGE.

He chuckled softly to himself, but opened the door anyway. He was shocked by what he saw. The once dreary staff lounge had been transformed into a private oasis. Dim lighting provided the right mood for the candlelit dinner that was set up at the main table. Pockets of twinkly lights surrounded the setup, adding a romantic touch to the space.

As he got closer, Jay noticed the place settings with their names written on it. He glanced on the back to see that there were a set of instructions. Oh lord. He fought an eye roll and decided to take his seat on the chair that faced the doorway. He ignored the slight ache in his ribs, and instead focused on the rapid beating of his heart, which was anxiously awaiting Hailey's arrival.

* * *

Little did he know that down the hall Hailey was tiptoeing towards the lounge. She cursed Kim and her insistence to wear a kitten heel. But in all fairness, she didn't have another pair of pale shoes. All the rest were either work boots, running shoes, or the one pair of metallic pumps she owned, so she supposed she couldn't completely blame Kim for going with the most matching option.

She finally stood in front of the door that Adam and Kim told her to. She pulled it open and quietly walked inside, her eyes still adjusting to the moody light.

"Jay?" She called out softly. She felt her voice echo a little. She smiled at the sparkly lights, and figured she knew what awaited her now. She came around the corner and found Jay, sitting at the dinner table set for two.

"Hey Hailey." He said just as soft as she had. He stood up, and she felt her face heat up as his eyes roamed her from head to toe. "Wow, you look," he ran a hand across his mouth, hiking his brows up, but Hailey could see a smile tug at his lips. He also wore _that_ _look_, and Hailey swore she lost her breath. "You look beautiful, Hailey."

She smiled just as warmly back to him. "You look pretty hot there yourself, Halstead." She too hiked up a brow, taking note of how grey was now her new favorite color. It really did him justice. She noticed a small blue box on her plate. Curious, she picked it up and opened it. "Jay, you didn't! Where'd you find this?!" She asked astonished.

"Adam found it, actually. But he figured I could give it to you." He said, smiling up at her. Hailey felt a tear prick her eye, but wiped it away quickly before it fell down her face. She took a breath before taking her seat across from him. She noticed the place card as soon as she sat down. Jay nodded at her to read it. To her surprise, there was a list of questions on the back. A set of prompts, if you will. A sort of get to know you game, but obviously more involved since she and Jay already knew a lot about each other. She didn't know whether to be nervous or excited.

"So..." She started to say, but Jay immediately raised his hands in defense.

"Hey, for the record, I had _nothing_ to do with this. All Will."

Hailey let out a hearty laugh. "Yeah, Adam and Kim too." She saw Jay crack a smile at this.

She broke free from his gaze and looked back down at the card. "So, we really doing this?"

"Um," Jay paused, looking a little bashful for the first time in his life. "Well, see, the first thing my card says to do is convince you to go along with it."

"Oh yeah?" Hailey teased him a little. She watched him grow shyer by the second, and she relented. "Eh, you're lucky you're cute." She grabbed his hand across the table. "Okay, I'm game."

Jay smiled like a kid who just got an A on a math test. He motioned for her to read the first thing on her card.

She laughed out loud. "Listen to Jay, for once **please**." She recognized Adam's handwriting. "Nice."

Jay laughed right along with her at that one. "Okay, okay, how about the next one?"

Hailey glanced down again. "Tell 5 things you love about the other." She felt her cheeks heat up again. "Okay, let's trade off. One after the other. Fair?" She asked, still not looking up at him. Her brain was racing, trying to think of the best things out of the hundreds she's collected over the last 2 years.

"Fair." Jay's voice broke her trance. "Well, the first thing, I must say is your passivity Hailey," he broke into a grin almost instantly, and she swatted his hand when she realized he was kidding around.

"You are such a dork." She said, feigning anger. But when she finally looked back up at him again, his eyes read more serious than she'd seen all evening.

"Okay, okay, for real. I love your heart, Hailey. Like I said before, you have the greatest capacity for love and forgiveness that I've ever seen. And that's amazing."

She squeezed his hand. "And I love how funny you are. You never cease to make me smile, Jay."

He traced his thumb over her fingers, his eyes never leaving hers. Hailey was sure she felt the air leave her lungs this time.

"I love how confident you are. You're so sure of yourself and you don't change for anyone. You stand by your values, and I love how self-aware you are. It's really astounding to see."

"Jay, I love how resilient you are. Despite everything, and I mean everything, you never give up. That kind of courage, that's learned, not given. And it's been amazing to watch you grow in that way."

He gave her hand a squeeze this time, and Hailey felt the genuine appreciation from him flow into her body.

"Hailey, the first thing I ever noticed about you was your spirit. Your spunk is legendary. I mean, I still remember the first thing you ever said. And I remember my reaction to it, a mix of amusement and amazement. And that's pretty much how I feel after every interaction with you. I'm either laughing and smiling, or in awe of what you have to say."

Hailey flashed a smile at him. "Wait, you mean to tell me you remember the sass I dished out to you, Voight, and Lindsay way back when? Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago..."

"Yep," Jay reaffirmed. "Word for word." He coughed, clearing his throat before continuing. "Detective Upton, Robbery-Homicide. There's a been a robbery and a homicide here..."

"...So I'd appreciate it if you vacated my crime scene!" Hailey finished alongside him. They both laughed, for how much they've changed, but also for how much remains the same between them.

She found herself searching him again, wanting to commit this Jay to her memory. This moment, all of it. She wanted to remember everything. "Jay?" She asked.

"Yeah?"

"I love how you let me in. I love how you allow others to open up to you too. You're an amazing listener, and you are always so sincere. Yes, you can be stubborn as hell, as can I, but once you really get past all that, you're so vulnerable and real. Authentic I guess, is the word I'm looking for."

"Thanks, Hailey. I mean that. Thank you." He said, his eyes softening just as much as his smile. He leaned back in his chair, and Hailey felt sad at the loss of contact.

"Hailey, I love how insightful you are. You always have such a way of looking at things that I would've never thought of. You always put yourself in other people's shoes. Like you feel so much for them. And you use that insight to help them. You are so much and that's one of the reasons why I think our thing works so well. That's why you're the one I always go to."

"Aw, Jay. That means a lot to me! Thank you." Hailey blew him a kiss across the table. Jay, being the goofball that he is, caught it, and tucked it in his pocket. Hailey rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah that's my fourth thing I love about you. How fun you are. You're a kid at heart, but it brings out the carefree side in me too."

_Shit_. She realized it was time for their last thing. She chewed on her lip as one of her best ideas came to mind. "And you know what else I love about you Jay?"

She slowly got up from her chair, sauntering over to him and slowly draped herself across his lap. She smirked, not even bothering to hide her blunt move of checking him out.

"What's that, Hailey?" His voice dropped about 3 octaves, breathy and heavy with anticipation.

"_This_." She quickly kissed him on his lips.

"**This**." She ran her hands down his chest.

"And this." She fisted her hands in his hair as she straddled him.

She kept kissing him, going from his lips to his jaw to his neck and back again.

"Hailey," he breathed out.

"Hm?" She hummed against his chin, feeling the stubble tickle her lip.

"Did I mention how sexy you are? Because if not I'll gladly tell you a thousand times over. Because _fuck_," he groaned as he felt her move her hips against him. "You drive me insane."

His drive overtook his injuries as he lifted her from the chair to the small sofa off to the left of the table.

She giggled when she fell back onto the couch, Jay leaning over, memorizing every inch of her. He never wanted to forget this Hailey. _His Hailey_.

"So, you were saying?" Hailey mused, wrapping her hands around his neck.

"Yeah, we're done talking." He said, muffling whatever reply she had ready with a kiss.

He kissed her slowly, as if savoring her taste. Strawberry. He never knew strawberries could be this good. She was the one who took control a little, pulling him closer and quickening the pace of their kisses.

She slid one of her hands down to his shirt, grabbing at his collar to pull him as close as possible. She inhaled his inherent scent of peppermint and smiled to herself. One of his hands grabbed at her face, pulling her back into a passionate kiss.

"Jay," she rasped as he made his way down her neck. He didn't respond, at least not with words. His arms wrapped around her waist instead, tethering her to him as she did seconds earlier.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the two lovebirds, their 3 scheming colleagues snuck a peek into the tiny window outside the staff room door. You couldn't see much as the dim lighting hid most of the space.

"Well, I think our plan worked guys." Will said, smiling.

"Yeah?" Adam and Kim asked. "Why's that?"

"Well, their food is still sitting on their plates, and they're nowhere near it. Safe to say they're making up."

"More like making out." Adam retorted. Kim shoved his shoulder, but couldn't help but laugh.

And who said hospitals can't be fun? They weren't 100% back to where they were, but they were getting there. And that's all that mattered to Jay and Hailey.


	13. The Real World

**A/N: **Back with another lengthier chapter (hope that's okay). Also, this is a bit of a heavier chapter, in terms of trauma related talk. I studied psychology in school, so I am very atune to the proper terminology and symptoms of PTSD and traumatic experiences. But, I am human and not perfect nonetheless. I tried to make it less visual or visceral, and more factual and educational that these are in fact what people who experience trauma can go through, but it's by no means a thorough account. To each their own. Okay, ramble over. Hope you like this chapter. Thanks for almost 100 reviews - this is the most feedback I've gotten on here yet! I'm so glad ya'll are responding so well to it; definitely motivates me to keep writing, so thanks again!

* * *

Jay woke up with a start, before he realized he was in fact, safe at home in his own bed. He turned and looked at the clock by his bed. 5:30am. _Great_, he thought. _I'm up before the sun_. He turned back onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, remembering the events of yesterday.

He and Hailey did in fact make up last night, but they never did get to eat their dinner! They were glued to each other the whole night, either in a steamy makeout, or simply lying in each other's arms, talking until they eventually nodded off. _Oops_. It was only when Will banged on the door at midnight that they realized they had overstayed their welcome.

Jay chuckled at that. Will was rapidly knocking, jumping up and down trying to get their attention for at least 10 minutes before Jay woke up and heard him. He got up, gently shook Hailey awake, and let Will inside. They were then properly discharged, both he and Hailey home in their own beds by 1AM.

He knew this morning wasn't going to be easy, but he knew he should at least stop by the 21st to get an idea of how long he'd be on desk or light duty for._ But first_, he thought to himself, _to Hailey's house_. He was going to make her first day back memorable if it was the last thing he did today.

* * *

Hailey groaned when she heard the doorbell ring. She flipped over onto her stomach, scooting over to her nightstand so she could see her phone's clock. 6:15am. _Who the hell would be at her door this early? _

She was too tired to care, but when the doorbell rang again, she begrudgingly hopped up, put on her bunny slippers, and went to answer it. _Probably just a package she had to sign for_, she thought as she bounded down the hallway and down the half step to the front entryway.

She forced a yawn back down her throat as she pulled open the door. It was not in fact a delivery person, but her partner, Jay. She shook her head, a bright smile spreading across her face. As she looked down for a brief second, she quickly looked back up, eyes wide, suddenly insecure about her choice of pajamas and slippers. Oh lord, he's gonna think I'm the biggest dork alive. She chose an oversized nightshirt that had an old Mickey Mouse comic on it, and of course, her fuzzy bunny slippers.

"Nice slippers," Jay quipped, handing her a coffee and bagel.

"What're you doing here?!" She exclaimed, letting him in despite her initial shock.

"Just wanted to stop by and pick you up," he said nonchalantly. He made his way to her bar, taking a seat on one of her high top chairs.

"Well this is a nice surprise," she said, coming over to kiss him. She hopped up much like she did last night, and wrapped her arms around his neck as she leaned in to meet his lips.

"Mhmm, yep, so worth the trip," Jay concurred, grinning as he kissed her back.

Hailey laughed, jumping down, but never unhooking her arms from him.

"What?" He asked her, noticing her eyes staring intently back at him.

"Nothing," she said quickly, looking away shyly.

He put his hand gently underneath her chin, pulling her face back up to his. "Hailey..."

She wasn't directly looking at him anymore, and he watched as she wiped at her eyes. "Hey," he started, grabbing her hands with his. "What is it?"

She let out a brittle laugh. "No, I'm not actually sad," she paused, leaning into him. "I'm happy. I'm just glad you're here. I'm glad _we're_ here. After everything, that is all I could ever want." She smiled at him, and he returned the expression tenfold.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, Hailey." He reassured her, wrapping her into a hug.

They stayed like that until both of them felt calmer, more at peace. When they did finally break apart, Jay checked his phone.

"Oh crap, Hailey, if we're gonna go to work today, we should probably head out soon," he said, looking up at her. "You are coming in with me, aren't you?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am. I wanna know what our timeline is from desk to full duty again anyhow. I just gotta get dressed and I'll be good to go," she said, racing past him and back down the hall to her bedroom.

"Hey, y'know I can be helpful with picking out clothes," he teased.

"Very funny Jay." He heard her call out from her room. He laughed.

She came back out in a few minutes, wearing her usual ensemble of jeans and a tee shirt, but for whatever reason, she looked great to him. Who was he kidding? He always thought she looked good. Maybe it was because they were finally trying this whole couple thing, so he was taking it all in. Damn, he was the luckiest person alive.

She caught him staring at her. "What? Do I have like, toothpaste on my face or something?" She swiped her hand across her face.

He bit his tongue. "No, no. You just look really good, Hailey." He walked over to her, leaned in super close to her, as if he was going to kiss her, but instead just said, "Ready to go?"

She cracked a smile, shoving his chest, sending him back to his original spot in front of her. "Oh, I'm so getting you back for that. But yes, you dork, I'm ready to go."

She pushed him towards her door, him laughing, commenting on how strong she was. She just rolled her eyes, but she honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

"Alright, so what else do we have on this Robert Donovan? Financials? Socials? Give me something," Voight was saying, tapping on the white board.

It was at that moment Jay and Hailey buzzed their way up. Heads turned to look at the newly minted twosome, and smiles were shared amongst their coworkers that echoed an overarching theme: **it's about time. **

"Hailey, Jay, welcome back." Voight greeted. He motioned them back to his office. On the way there, Jay got fist bumps and pats on the back from Ruzek and Atwater, while Kim squeezed Hailey's hand.

Voight faces his remaining detectives again. "Alright, let's go to work. Get me that information." He sent them on their way, and went back to talk to Hailey and Jay.

"So, as far as the romantic entanglement, I don't care. As long as you do your jobs, then that's fine. And that's what I wanted to talk to you two about today. You're both on mandatory desk duty for 1 week, maybe 2 depending on how your doctors see it. Light duty for another week, if two then that'll push you a month out. So, we're looking at late October to get you guys back in full force." He paused, looking at the two of them. "**This isn't optional**, you got me?"

"Copy that, Sarge." Hailey said.

"We got it." Jay agreed.

"Good. We're glad to have you guys back. And I have some good news to share. We caught a witness for De'Von's case. We sent over the statement to Knolls this morning. I'll be meeting with him later this afternoon. But things are looking up." Voight gave them both the rare sight of a slight smile, before dismissing them back to their desks.

Hailey and Jay sighed, looking at each other as if to say _what the hell are we gonna do on desk duty all day long_? They snickered at each other, deciding to go through their desks and file any missing paperwork, memos, etcetera. That surprisingly took up the bulk of their afternoon, seeing as Platt grabbed them both on their way back up from the mailroom to schedule their mandatory psych evals.

"Required for trauma assessment," she had said. Jay had been through this all before, but Hailey had not. So, when he saw the emptier look on her face when she filed out the time card, he knew that was something she'd hopefully talk with him about later. He gave her a pat on the shoulder as they walked back upstairs to their desks. She gave him a small smile in return.

* * *

The next couple days dragged on like this, Hailey and Jay keeping busy while the rest of their unit finished up the murder charge on Robert Donovan. Intelligence got him on murder 2, 15-30 years when convicted.

As far as Jay and Hailey's case was concerned, Voight was yelling at the DA's office all morning as to why they hadn't made this a top priority. Hailey and Jay cringed at the echoes that bounced off the walls of his office to their places out in the bullpen. Yikes.

"Hailey, Jay, my office." Voight said as he slammed the phone back down on the receiver. The two quickly filed in, taking their seats.

"That was Knolls. They've finally got an arraignment for De'Von, Samuel, and his crew. It's been set for Monday, and since today is Thursday, Knolls wants your evaluations done by end of day tomorrow. No excuses."

"Got it."

"Yep."

They were dismissed again, with Jay telling Hailey he'd do his first. She gladly thanked him, saying she wasn't sure why she felt so nervous talking to a shrink, but she did, so she wanted the time to sort through it. He understood, and went downstairs so Platt could introduce him to the therapist.

"So, you know why you're here?" Dr. Barnes asked him.

"Yeah," Jay started. "My partner and I were kidnapped and attacked. Traumatic experience."

Dr. Barnes looked at her notes. "Yes, it says here you were the one who experienced the initial abduction. Is that correct?"

"Yes, I was taken from my home after being forced out of Molly's bar. They initially demanded money and to see my wire, but when I said I didn't have one, I was struck down and taken hostage."

"And your partner, Hailey, right? Was she there at the house with you?"

Jay shook his head. "No, she didn't even know about the abduction until a few hours later. She was sent in by our unit to get me back. That's when she was taken too."

"Were you assaulted while in captivity?"

"Yes. Beaten, essentially." Jay said, looking down at the ground.

"And you were almost killed in the warehouse."

Jay nodded, burying his head in his hands. The memories of that specific incident came flooding back to him, all at once.

"I-that's all I keep seeing. Is Hailey looking so scared for me. And I remember feeling so powerless as to not being able to help her. I don't know how I'm supposed to forgive myself for that."

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Jay, this is a safe space. You're safe." She instructed him to do a grounding exercise, where he identified 3 things in the room, and told her what colors they are. It's supposed to bring you back to reality, to the present moment.

Once his panic level had gone down, he was given the symptom questionnaire to fill out. _What other traumatic experiences has he gone through? Has he been in therapy before? What symptoms has he experienced? Have symptoms worsened since this new trauma occurred? Etcetera_. He completed it and Dr. Barnes stepped out briefly to evaluate it.

She came back in a few minutes later with his results and her recommendation. "I know you've been in therapy before, so I know you have some of these techniques under your belt. I'd still like to see you once a week while you're on the desk or light duty. That way we can keep an eye on your triggers. Okay?"

Jay nodded, agreeing with her. "Sounds good. Thanks doc."

He stepped out of the therapist office, finding Hailey sitting in the waiting room. "And?" She asked, her brows raised in slight suspicion.

Jay felt his mouth culminate into a thin line. "Hailey…"

She frowned. "I'm still nervous, okay? How do you do it? It seems like a lot." She said, turning towards the door of the office. Jay followed her out before answering.

"It _is_ a lot. There's no sugarcoating that. But hey," he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "I also know you. And you're so strong. You can do this. I'll be here for you, whatever you need." He squeezed her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

Hailey looked up at him, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "You wanna know what I need right now?" She smirked, pulling him along to his truck. "You, pizza, and beer." Jay smiled at her. She added cheekily, "Exactly in that order." She kissed him quickly before running around to the passenger side, hopping in before the autumn wind hit again. Jay shook his head, but couldn't deny his rumbling stomach any longer. _Yeah okay_. He figured after all they'd been through, they deserved a night of just them.

* * *

"I have the pizza!" He announced to Hailey as he walked back into her kitchen.

"And I have the beer!" She mocked, holding a 12-pack in her hand.

"Thank god we've been off the serious meds after discharge," he said, chuckling. "The occasional beer won't hurt our ibuprofen regimen!" He joked, setting the pizza box on her counter.

"I know that's right," Hailey agreed, setting the beer next to it. She grabbed some plates and napkins from the cabinet and they dug in, both starved after a long first week back at work. They sat down on Hailey's couch, getting comfortable and soon enough, easy conversation followed. They had finished their food and were a quarter of the way through the beer when Jay figured it was time to get serious.

"Hey, y'know about tomorrow, you'll be just fine. The therapist…they're there to help you. You just gotta lay it all out there, so they can determine what's best for you."

Hailey sighed, twirling the remaining alcohol around in the bottom of her beer bottle. "I know, I just– I don't know why it's affecting me so much. Like why this? Why now? I've been through an abduction before."

Jay too let out a breath before grabbing her hand across the back of the couch. "I don't know. I mean, I can't speak for you, but I know for me, it just got stirred up again after the whole Camila thing. We don't get to choose what situations plague us, or what brings up the symptoms. It's just an unfortunate thing that can come up when you least expect it."

"So then how the hell do you manage it? If you never know when it's going to come and overwhelm you?" She asked him genuinely, running her thumb over his knuckles.

He looked off for a second. "You remember what I said a couple months back while I was under?"

Hailey nodded, remembering it well. _All I did for 7 months was drink, smoke, screw, fight. You just end up filling it with something, or someone else._

"Yeah," she squeezed his hand. "I also remember we never did talk about it again. Because you went off the grid after the op was over. I don't want this to be that for you again, Jay. Because god, I just got you back. I can't lose you again. Never, ever." She said, tearing up slightly.

"Hey, Hailey," he said, leaning over to her to wrap her in another hug. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I wanna be here for you, okay? I'm not leaving you." He rubbed her back soothingly, and she cried out the rest of her tears on his shoulder.

"I'm holding you to that," she said, partly laughing and sniffling as she finally finished her tearful episode. She laid her head on his shoulder, and they ended up falling asleep just like that: in the comfort of each other.

* * *

"Hailey?" Dr. Barnes called from the tiny waiting room.

"Yeah," Hailey answered, grabbing her jacket from the chair and walking into the therapist's office.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Barnes. Nice to meet you. I spoke to your partner, Jay Halstead, yesterday."

"Yeah, he told me." She replied, taking her seat. She fidgeted with her fingers as she watched the doctor get out her clipboard. _Gosh, that's a lot of paper_. Hailey noticed, wondering if Jay's file was like that.

"So, I'm going to tell you what I told him. You obviously know why you're here, but I want to hear it from you, in your own words. Are you able to tell me about what happened?"

Hailey sucked in a gulp of air. _You're strong_. She replayed Jay's encouraging words in her mind. _She could do this_.

"Yes. I was sent in to extract Jay from a hostage situation. Things didn't go according to plan, and I ended up a hostage as well. He– he was the one who was traumatized, doctor. I wasn't nearly as bad off as he was, I–"

Dr. Barnes cut her off. "Now, Hailey, what you just did was called minimizing. It's a common misinformed coping skill that trauma survivors sometime use because they feel guilt over their experience, or they think they don't deserve the same help as someone who 'had it worse than them.'" She put air quotes around the last part.

"I– oh, I didn't realize. I apologize." Hailey said, eyes darting to the ground, feeling like she'd rather crawl into a hole right now than be here.

"No need to be sorry, Hailey. I was simply letting you know of this so you can catch yourself in the future. What you experienced is just as valid as what Jay experienced. There's no comparisons when it comes to trauma. Pain is pain, plain–" she paused, tapping her pen against her clipboard. "–Or rather, complex and simple as that." Hailey swore she saw a hint of a smile cross Dr. Barnes' face. _Maybe she isn't so bad after all_, Hailey thought to herself.

"I say that in a light way, but make no mistake, I am in no way making light of trauma. I was simply negating my poor word choice. I can sense your unease with this whole process as well, so I hope you're feeling slightly less uncomfortable?"

Hailey shook her head. "Yeah, I guess. I'm still just hesitant about the whole thing, I guess because this specific experience has really thrown me for a loop, and I can't quite figure out why."

Dr. Barnes nodded, scribbling a note. "Hailey, when you were there in the house with Jay, did you get injured?"

Hailey almost laughed. _Wait, seriously?_ "I, yeah, of course. I engaged in hand to hand combat, and a bullet grazed my side. Why do you ask?"

The doctor didn't answer, instead asking her another question. "And what about in the warehouse?"

"I, yes, I was grabbed and my arm was pinned behind my back. But that was it, I guess."

"What do you mean, you guess?"

Hailey chewed on her bottom lip, suddenly feeling anxious. She felt her cheeks heat up. "I, I–" She paused, biting on her lip again, trying to stop the tears from coming. She wasn't successful. "I mean, I was forced to watch Jay be beaten. But that wasn't, I mean, I wasn't the one being traumatized–" She stopped again, unable to finish talking as the tears made their way down her lips from her cheeks.

"Hailey, this is still something traumatic. The trauma does not have to affect you directly. It can be an indirect trauma, but your body and mind still treat it as a trauma. There's no criterion that traumatic experiences adhere to. It doesn't matter if say, you were shot, or you saw someone get shot. They are both considered trauma, or traumatic incidents. They can both inflict physical symptoms and emotional damage if not dealt with properly. Does this make sense to you?"

Hailey sniffled, grabbing a tissue from the table that sat between them. "Yeah," she dabbed at her eyes. "I guess I never thought of it in that way before. So, what can I do about it?"

Dr. Barnes scribbled down something on a slip of paper, and handed it to Hailey. "First, you can start by taking this anti-anxiety medication on an as-needed basis. I'm putting you on Cylexa, the lowest dose for now of 15 mg. This should help with your emotions, and racing thoughts that come when you think of the experience. And secondly, I'm recommending we see each other 2x/week, Mondays and Fridays, at least while you're on desk and/or lighter duty. This is solely because I want you to get the most benefit out of this. The more educated you are on what you're experiencing, the better you can be at dealing with it. Does that sound okay?"

Hailey blinked a few times, taking a moment to let it all sink in. Part of her brain was screaming at her to _Run, run away now_; but the other part of her was saying she couldn't _not_ do this. _You need help, Hailey. This is real, this pain is real. And this is the real world you're back in. So, let's start really dealing with it._

She nodded her head. "Alright, let's do it."


	14. Fun in the Sun

**A/N: Definitely a more fun chapter, but of course with a slight twist at the end. As in, our two favorite detectives deserve a weekend away to themselves before the impending hearing on Monday. It's also the longest chapter I've ever written - 5K words, people. So, if you're not into that, my apologies. But, trust me, I think you'll like it. Enjoy!**

* * *

"And you can't tell me where you're going because...?" Will questioned Jay as he watched him pack a bag.

"Because _I_ don't even know where I'm going," Jay replied, zipping up the duffel and grabbing his phone from his dresser. "Hailey just said bring a little of everything, so I have some clothes, a pair of shoes, and a hat and sunglasses. The only thing she told me was we'd have fun in the sun."

"So please tell me your pale ass remembered sunscreen!" Will joked, earning a punch on the arm from Jay.

"Says the guy with _red_ hair." Jay joked back. His phone chimed, signaling a text message. "I've gotta go, man. She's outside. I'll keep you posted, since you're obviously dying to know my plans for the next 2 days."

Will raised his hands. "Hey, bro, I'm just looking out...I mean, it was because of me that you two got back together in the first place." He smirked as Jay rolled his eyes and walked downstairs. "Whatever you say, Will, whatever you say" he heard him call out as he heard the door slam. _Yeah, he so owes me_. Will thought.

"Hey," Hailey said as Jay tossed his bag in the backseat of her car.

"Hey," he said, slipping his phone into the pocket of his jeans as he got settled in her passenger seat. "So, are you ever gonna tell me what we're doing or where we're going?" He asked her, suspicion lacing his voice. He stifled a yawn. "Or why I had to be ready to go at 6AM?"

"Nope," she teased. "Not even a little." She turned her key and started up the car. "You can sleep if you want, I'll wake you when we're there." She said, making the back and forth movement with her hand that meant the seat reclines. Jay nodded, giving her a thumbs up as he leaned back into the seat, nodding off almost instantly. She shook her head, but smiled as began the 1 hour drive to their destination.

* * *

"Knolls, this better be good. It's 6:30AM on a Saturday morning," Voight grumbled into his cell phone.

"It's not good, Sargeant, it's important." Knolls said, matter-of-factly.  
"What is it?"

"Since the arraignment is so contingent on the accounts of Jay and Hailey, De'Von's legal team convinced the judge to order them to testify...or rather, give 'victim impact statements' if you want the technical term. While they're not subject to cross-examination, they will still be facing De'Von in court, as opposed to sitting on the sidelines in the stands. I'm sorry, Hank, it's out of my hands. The judge could have them arrested if they don't show voluntarily come Monday morning."

Voight ran a hand over his face, sighing at the pure unfairness of the world. "No need for dramatics, Knolls. They'll be there." He hung up the phone, before going to dial his detective's numbers. He had just opened the keypad when he remembered the reason why he'd given them the weekend off. To relax, he had said. To decompress before Monday. He turned his phone off and got up to go to work. Screw Knolls. He thought. He'd give Jay and Hailey their weekend of freedom, of god forbid, normalcy, before all hell broke loose in 48 hours. _They deserved that much._

* * *

"Hey," Hailey whispered. Jay was still sound asleep. "Jay." She tried again, louder this time. He stirred, stretching out and yawning as he woke himself up.  
"Hm?"  
"We're here." She said simply, letting the view in front of them speak for itself.  
"Woah," He said, checking out their destination. A beach house with indoor amenities sat atop a hill, surrounded by woods.  
"Yeah, so it's not exactly the lake of Lake Forest, though there is a waterfall in the woods somewhere, but I haven't been able to find it in years." Hailey laughed as she saw Jay's mouth was agape. "You good there, Halstead?"

Jay blinked, jaw still slack. "Uh, yeah. Wow. So wait, this is yours then? The famous Lake Forest home of Hailey Upton? Never thought I'd see the day," he teased her.

"Yeah, yeah. This is the place. Welcome to casa de Upton." Hailey pulled her car into the driveway so they could grab their bags and get settled.

"Come on," she called to him, jogging up the hill to the front door. "I'll give you the 10 cent tour!"

Jay followed suit with his bag, and was still as amazed by the inside of the house as the outside. Paneled walls matched the hardwood floors in the spacious living area, which also had vaulted ceilings. Off of that was the kitchen, stocked with a full bar, adjacent to a private study. The second floor housed the bedrooms, two master sized and three guest. Each had their own attached bath, which filled up the space nicely. When Jay had followed Hailey up the stairs, he found himself wondering which room used to be hers.

"That one was my old room," she said, as if reading his mind. She pointed to the last room at the end of the hall, with the pink "do not disturb" tag on its last legs on the door handle. "What can I say, I wanted my privacy. My brothers drove me crazy sometimes!"

Jay nodded, sneaking a peek at the half opened doors to the other two guest rooms, which he deduced at one point belonged to Hailey's brothers. _Cool_. He wondered what the rest of Hailey's family was like. He'd never met them, but had seen photos and heard Hailey's stories. He did once overhear her in the hospital on the phone with her parents, but she insisted that she was fine, and that she'd see them soon. "No need to worry them," she had told him when he walked into her room after she hung up the phone. Jay felt like she was like that with a lot of people: keeping them at arm's length, not wanting to burden them with her problems. He was glad he could be the one to start breaking down that barrier in her. He liked the vulnerable Hailey, just as much as all the other parts of her. That's what made her, _her_. And that was the woman he loved.

"_Helloooo_, earth to Jay..." Hailey waved her hand in front of his face.  
"Sorry, what?" He asked her, clearly having zoned out.  
"Just wanted to direct you to your room, or well, I mean, it can be _our_ room, but I didn't know if we were doing that whole step just yet." Hailey felt her cheeks heat up. _That's just great._

He heard her voice get quieter with every word of that sentence. He looked at her for a second, before motioning for her to show him the way. She didn't look back at him until they walked down the hall to the left to get to one of the masters.

"Okay, so you're more than welcome to this room, or the other one's just across the way." She finally glanced back up at him, impatiently waiting for an answer.

He answered her by pulling her to him, making them both drop their bags right there on the floor, walking her back to the bed, and kissing her as she landed back on the comforter.

"So that's a yes?" Hailey asked breathlessly.  
"That's a hell yes." Jay replied, winking before meeting her lips again.  
They stayed like that for a few minutes, but then Hailey broke the kiss again. "Mmm, as much as I want to keep doing this," she paused, giggling as she pushed him back a little. "There's one more thing I gotta show you!" She said, climbing out from underneath him.

Jay sighed, but followed her back out to the main part of the house anyway. "What could be better than our own private suite?" He asked semi-rhetorically.

Hailey stopped in front of him, before throwing open the double doors to a private hot tub, pool, and - what Hailey knew would be Jay's favorite part - a personal putting green. "How 'bout our own Jacuzzi and golf spot?" She countered with an arched brow.

"Yeah, okay, you're right. This wins. Holy shit, this the coolest thing ever, Hailey." His eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store, of course going straight for the putters and grabbing a golf ball to start a round.

"You enjoy that," she said, turning on her heels and walking back into the house.  
"Where are you going?" Jay called to her as he set up a tee.  
"You'll see," Hailey said, waving her hand off nonchalantly.

Jay narrowed his eyes, wondering what in the world she could be up to now, but two seconds later was distracted by his competitive spirit to get a hole-in-one on the golf course. He didn't know that Hailey was watching him briefly through the glass windowed double doors, laughing when she saw him get into his usual stance, poking his tongue out of his mouth in concentration. He also didn't know this was one of the many things Hailey archived in her memories of him, her time in Intelligence, all of it, over the last couple years. She'd have quite the time making fun of Jay and Antonio when they'd try to tee off between crime scenes or would look up golf tips on the net. _Such dorks_. She heard the rare (in her house anymore, anyway), yet familiar sound of a golf club swing as she turned to go back to her room.

* * *

"Sarge, we just heard from Platt. Is it true?"  
"Yeah, are Jay and Hailey really gonna have to face De'Von and his crew in court?"  
"How can Knolls not fight this?"  
"What can we do to help?"

Voight faced each of his detectives from his desk chair, as their hubbub of questions circled his office that they were huddled up in.

"I don't know what else to say. What's done is done. All we can do is be there for them on Monday, and whatever else comes after that. Everybody good with that?"

The team gave him a collective nod, and went about their business for the day.

* * *

"Hailey, you've gotta check this out, I just hit-" Jay stopped mid sentence, dropping his golf club at the sight before him. "_Wow_."

Hailey had returned, decked out in a one piece that gave Baywatch a run for its money. Jay had now decided red was his new favorite color, and as he watched her saunter over to the pool's edge, taking a dive in, he never knew a simple red swimsuit could be so sexy.

"Aren't you coming?" Hailey called to him as she brushed her hair back from her face. She took her time with the movement, pouting and biting her lip slightly. She was _so_ getting him back for earlier this week.

Jay fought the smirk that threatened to stay on his lips. _Yeah, sure. I can do that._ He realized he didn't actually bring any swim trunks with him, but then again, he realized he had a better idea. Swim attire, be damned. _Two can play at this game, Hailey._

He did the classic guy move of pulling his shirt off from behind his head, not really caring where it landed. He discarded his jeans too, leaving just his boxer shorts. He knew he saw Hailey's lips part, then quickly close up as if she wasn't totally watching his every move.

Normally, he'd never be this bold, but his competitive streak was getting the better of him again. And what a way to win, then to have Hailey all to himself? He was going to try for the whole effortless dive in like she did, but at the last minute decided to have a little more fun.

Apparently, a cannonball sized amount of fun, because that was how he entered the pool, sending waves splashing over Hailey. Hearing her laugh was the best payoff. "Jay!" She cried, but had a bright smile on her face.

"What's up?" He asked, pretending he didn't just soak her.

"Oh that's it, Halstead, now you're toast!" She said, sending a whole bunch of water his way with her hands.

"Oh it's on, Upton!" He retorted, splashing her back just as much.

"Oh, okay," she said, narrowing her eyes before jumping forward in an attempt to tackle him. But of course, he beat her to the punch, grabbing her waist and tossing her off playfully.

"No fair!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said, walking over to her.

She acted like she was going to accept the hug he had leaned in to give her, but at the last second dunked him under the water. "Ha!" She yelled victoriously, quickly swimming away.

She apparently wasn't fast enough, because Jay caught her arm in his and pulled her back, laughing the whole time as they were essentially acting like 12 year olds, as opposed to the 30 year olds they both were.

Hailey was laughing too, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her waist again, this time tighter and with a different purpose.

He sunk his head down to the crook of her neck, and she leaned her head back on his opposite shoulder. He was giving her _that look_ again, and she found herself leaning in towards him when a sudden crash of the doors made them both jump apart.

"Hailey Belle? You out here?"  
"Hey sis, where you at?"

Hailey's eyes went wide, and this time her jaw dropped. _Oh gosh, not now_. She hid her eyes in her hands, furiously shaking her head. Jay's brows furrowed in confusion, his head turning towards the chorale of voices that had entered the space.

"Hailey, **there** you are." Her mother said, looking directly at her, not noticing Jay. Her brother Bobby did notice Jay though, giving Hailey that brotherly look of _new guy?_ Oh boy, here we go.

"Hi Mom." Hailey said through clenched teeth. She ran her hand that was in front of her eyes into her hair, scooping her wet strands away from her face.

"Hi Ha- oh." She paused, now noticing Jay. "I didn't realize you had company."

Hailey felt her cheeks redden to that of a tomato, and seeing Jay eye her in that annoyingly cute way made it worse. She forced her eyes not to roll, and turned fully forward to face her mom and brother.

"Mom, Bobby, this is my partner, Jay."

Hailey's mom's eyes lit up. "As in Jay Halstead? Oh my, I feel like we have a celebrity in our presence. Hailey's told us all about you! It's so nice to meet you!"

Bobby nodded. "Good to put a face to the name. Hey man." He waved to Jay, who waved back.

He nodded at Hailey's mom. "Nice to meet you both. I'd properly introduce myself, but I think it'd be best if I just get out of your hair..." he said, making his way over to the stairs.

"Jay-" Hailey started, swimming after him. "I didn't know they were coming, I swear." She whispered to him, grabbing his arm. Jay stood on the first step, looking at her, trying to convey a sentiment of _it's okay_ with his eyes.

"Oh nonsense! Hailey's not brought a boyfriend home in ages! You're staying!" Hailey's mom said gently but firm in such a way Jay couldn't really object. "At least for dinner." She added, winking before grabbing Bobby and making their way back inside.

Jay finished the climb up to the sill that the steps overlooked and took a seat. Hailey joined him, the two of them splashing their feet awkwardly around in the water.

Jay opened his mouth to speak, but Hailey beat him to it.

"So, that's my mom, Athena, and my brother Bobby. My dad, Mark and my other brother Tom will probably join them up here later tonight or early tomorrow. But yeah, now you've met some of my family..." she said, looking at him sheepishly before looking back down at the water.

"They seem really nice Hailey," Jay said, taking her hand. "And I hear I'm a pretty popular topic, huh? So what exactly _does_ your family know about me?"

Hailey let out a hearty laugh. "Oh God!" She pursed her lips. "**Not** as much as you'd think! Just how you've been my partner for a while now and how helping you deal with stuff has helped me feel more apart of the unit, apart of the best partnership I've ever had." She answered, squeezing his hand. "Oh they know you have a brother too! My older brother Tom is a neurosurgeon in Canada now, but he worked in the States for years. He and Will would definitely get along." She added, smiling.

Jay smiled back at her. "That's awesome. Maybe the next time I come by my _girlfriend's_ lake house I can bring my brother along," he half joked with her, but was also half serious. He stared back into her eyes, trying to figure out her reaction to the word.

"Yeah, I'm sure Tom would really like to meet my _boyfriend's_ brother," she said, pushing against his shoulder. She grinned at him, but her eyes held a whole slew of other emotions. Jay recognized some, like uncertainty and hope, because they were reflected in his own eyes.

"Hailey, I just didn't wanna rush things with us. That's why I didn't label it. But there's honestly nothing more I'd want than to be able to be your boyfriend. And besides, **girlfriend** looks good on you." He assured her, kissing her cheek.

"And hey, my **boyfriend's** pretty hot, so I guess I'll take his word for it." She said, pulling his face to hers so she could kiss him. He happily let her.

"Hey, lovebirds! Come on in! We've got dinner going!" Bobby waved his hands in a come here motion. Jay and Hailey laughed at his exasperated expression. But they hopped up and joined them inside anyway.

* * *

"Hey boss, here's those memos you asked for on Donovan's case. Signed, sealed," Ruzek plopped them on Voight's desk. "And now, delivered." He gave his sergeant his usual Ruzek grin, and Voight couldn't help but smile back.

"Good, that's real good. Hey Adam? Tell everyone tomorrow's off. I'll be the one to deliver the news to Jay and Hailey."

"Sarge, we can help-" Adam tried, but Hank cut him off.

"I'll handle it."

Adam shrugged, knowing there was no use in arguing. "Okay boss, I'll let Burgess, Atwater, and Antonio know."

He dismissed himself from the office, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Voight grabbed a shot glass and his stash of whiskey, pouring himself a much needed drink.

* * *

"So, Jay, we know you were in the Army. That's quite an accomplishment to have served two tours at barely 30." Athena commented, passing him the salad.

"Thank you," Jay said, to both the food and the compliment. "It was one of the hardest things I've done. But, I wouldn't be where I am today without it."

Athena nodded, and seeing Hailey's insistence to move onto a different subject, looked to her son to move the conversation along.

"So, Jay, how'd you finally get my sister to go out with you, huh? She's picky, so you must be something special to get her attention," Bobby said, patting Jay on the back.

Jay caught Hailey's eye from across the table before answering. "More like _she's_ something special."

He watched her smile at that, and he in turn, beamed back at her.

"Right answer, right answer." Bobby said. "Hailey, I like this guy. Keep him, will ya?"

Hailey shoved Bobby's shoulder. "**Bobby**!" She said, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh now Bobby, be nice. Jay, you have nothing to worry about. You're just as good as Hailey described. You'll stick around, I have a feeling." Athena reassured him. Jay nodded, taking a relaxing breath.

Hailey felt herself relax too. She looked over at Jay as the conversations continued, loving this side of him. So open and fun, like he was comfortable. And she loved it was with her family that he felt that way.

It also wasn't lost on her how good he looked tonight. Granted, he was just wearing a dress shirt and jeans, but _damn_ he wore it well.

She wished she was sitting right next to him, because she wanted desperately to convey how much she appreciated his attire. She fell back on the fact that their eyes always spoke for them, so she gave him her best flirtatious stare, hoping he got the message.

Boy did he ever. She watched his eyes spark up with that same intensity they had that night at the hospital. She smirked, knowing she'd done her job.

Before she knew it, dinner was done and the night was coming to a close. Bobby and Athena departed to their rooms, for which Hailey thanked god that they were at the opposite end from her and Jay.

* * *

"Jay, I'm gonna get a quick shower, but feel free to just make yourself at home." Hailey said from the bathroom, poking her head out to look at him. He was sitting casually on the edge of the bed, fumbling with his phone.

He looked up momentarily. "Okay, I'll grab one after you're done."

She gave him a thumbs up before letting the door close and turning the shower on.

After about 10 minutes, Hailey decided she was done. She wrapped herself up in her towel and peaked outside to the room.

Jay heard the door open. "You're good, Hails. I'll just trade you places."

She ran out, clutching her towel, which made Jay chuckle. "Okay, okay, I'm gone, I'm gone." He said, mimicking her by racing into the bathroom.

She rolled her eyes, but let out a sigh of relief when she heard the door shut behind him. Okay, now to find pajamas. She rummaged around in her duffel for her options. She had brought two: one for if she was sleeping alone; and one for if she _wasn't_. Obviously, the latter was going to be put to use. She bypassed her oversized tee that featured a Polaroid of an old film; instead grabbing her pale blue ruffled babydoll top with matching boy shorts. She quickly slipped into the ensemble, and got a face wipe to wipe any remaining traces of makeup from dinner that the shower didn't wipe away. She had just tossed it and was laying back when Jay came out. Clad in a towel nonetheless. She audibly gulped, forgoing her plans to lay down and sat right back up.

When her eyes traveled the length of his uncovered skin, the only analogy she could think of to explain it was like a car wreck. She didn't _want_ to look, especially given the few remaining red marks from his taser wounds, but she couldn't help it. _Besides_, she thought to herself, _it should be illegal to have _that_ kind of a 6 pack._

She swore she saw him flex a little, but she brushed it off as just a random movement. She quickly averted her eyes as she saw his hands move towards his towel.

"Um **Jay**?" She said, a little too loudly. He laughed at her expense.

"Hailey, you're good. I'm clothed under here, I swear. Didn't make much sense not to be, seeing as you leaving the room just to go back in the bathroom seemed ridiculous." He chuckled to himself, rifling through his bag for his own set of bedtime attire.

Hailey acted like she was scrolling through her phone, but out of the corner of her eye, she caught Jay trying to decide between a navy or black tee shirt.

"The navy one's nice." She mumbled, trying to sound casual.

Jay quickly looked from her to his two choices of shirts. Hailey let herself smile slightly when she saw him select the navy shirt.

He changed into it and some gray sweats before settling down on the bed next to her. Now it was his turn to sneak glances at the blonde beauty to the left of him. He changed his mind: red might've been the hottest color on her, but blue was the prettiest. The paleness made her cerulean eyes pop that much more. And when she looked at him, he found himself drowning. _Yeah, luckiest guy ever._

* * *

"Voight."

"Hank, its Trevor. Just wanted to check in. You've told Halstead and Upton about their testimonies?"

Voight coughed, not responding.

"_Hank_," Trevor warned.

"**Knolls**," Voight said just as harsh. "You're not intimidating me, or my detectives, for that matter. I'll have them there tomorrow, you have my word. That's all you should need to know." He hung up his phone, grabbing whiskey for the second time in 24 hours.

* * *

"Morning sleepyhead." Hailey whispered. Jay woke up to her looking at him with a smile on her face. Yeah, he could get used to this. He absentmindedly ran his hand over her messy waves, and she laid her head down on his chest.

"Hey yourself." He replied, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her up so he could kiss her.

She gratefully accepted the gesture, kissing him sweetly.

_Strawberry_, Jay thought. _Yep, still good._ Before his mind could register it, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip, devouring the flavor.

"Hmmm," her moan vibrated against his lips, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth, deepening the kiss.

Hailey brought both her hands around to cup his face, sliding on top of him so she sat on his thighs.

"Can we start _every_ morning like this?" She said, her voice breathy and low.

She dove back down to his lips, craving the way he could make her feel just with a kiss. God, no one compared.

"If it's this good, I'll _gladly_ drop by your house every morning," Jay quipped, moving from her lips down to her jaw, then her neck.

"Uh huh, yep. This is _so_ good." Hailey rasped, gasping when he nipped at the thin skin over her pulse. As she did that, her hands gripped his shoulders, and she unintentionally rolled her hips.

Jay dropped his head onto her shoulder, willing himself not to get riled up at 8am on a Sunday. "**Hailey**," he hissed, his voice coming out raspy as well.

She peered at him through her lashes, an innocent look shining in her eyes. _Like hell_, he thought. _Fuck it_. He flipped her over and immediately resumed his position on her neck.

"Jesus, _Jay_," Hailey groaned, her hands finding their way into his hair. He smirked when she squirmed a little underneath him. "Dammit Jay," she breathed, as he dared to venture further down her body.

He had just slipped his hands under her top when a knock at the door made him freeze in his tracks.

"Breakfast's up!" Hailey instantly recognized her other brother's voice. _Nice timing, Tom_, she though to herself.

She laughed out loud as Jay dropped his head in defeat. He ended up laughing right along with her as they reluctantly got up and got dressed for breakfast. Apparently _that_ _part_ of their trip would have to wait.

* * *

"Oh well look who decided to join us!" Bobby laughed as Hailey and Jay tiredly made their way downstairs.

"Sleep well, guys?" Athena genuinely asked.

Jay and Hailey shared one of their looks, before simultaneously nodding.

"Glad to hear it." Athena replied, handing them glasses for orange juice.

"Jay, I'm Mark, Hailey's dad. It's nice to meet her other half."

Jay awkwardly reached across the table to shake Mark's hand.

"And I'm Tom. Hailey told me your brother Will, is a doctor, yeah?"

Jay nodded. Tom smiled. "That's great. Well, hey the next time we're all together, why don't you bring him by?" He said more as a statement rather than a question.

Usually Hailey would have freaked out over that. _But not today. And not with Jay._ No, today she just smiled and wrapped her hand in his, sharing a look that only the two of them knew meant everything.

* * *

The rest of their day flew by, but they managed to make the most of the hours they had. Jay got schooled in golf by Tom and Mark, but managed to win a one on one soccer matchup against Bobby. Hailey and her mom cheered them on from the jacuzzi, where they spent the afternoon soaking and catching up.

By the time 6 o'clock rolled around, neither of the them wanted to face reality. "Do we have to?" Jay whined.

Hailey rolled her eyes at him. "Yes, we should go back for the arraignment. Besides, it'll feel good to see that son of a bitch hauled off in chains" she reasoned as she grabbed their bags.

Jay took them from her and loaded them into her trunk. "I know. You're right."

"Aren't I always?" Hailey smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." Jay said, kissing her quickly before hopping into the passenger side. Hailey followed suit, and they were back home to Chicago in no time.

They had just pulled up to Jay's apartment, Hailey fully intending to simply drop him off, when both of their phones went off. Jay was just to his front door when he got the text. Hailey sat frozen in her car.

It was from Voight. **Call me. Important. News on De'Von's case. **

Jay ran back to Hailey's car, signaling her to come inside so they could talk to Voight together.

"Sarge, what's going on?" Jay asked into the receiver. Panic was starting to set in, both in his voice and in Hailey's eyes. He hugged her close to him as they awaited the news.

"You both are being subpoenaed to give victim impact statements tomorrow morning at De'Von's hearing. He, Samuel and his other crew members who were involved will all be present in the courtroom when this occurs. I'm sorry guys. I really am." Hailey choked on her words, unable to speak.

Jay felt his voice waver, but pushed through to speak anyway. "Hank," he tried, but the flashbacks ran rampant through his mind.

"I'm sorry guys." Voight repeated.

Jay couldn't even remember if he hung up the phone or not. All he could tell you was that he and Hailey collapsed onto his sofa together, fresh tears streaming down their faces; pain spreading through their bodies.

_What a way to end._ That was the last coherent thought Jay had before a generous sleep took over him. Hailey's body caved into a slumber soon after, not wanting to endure any more hurt. _So much for their time in the sun. _


	15. Facing Demons

Despite their night from hell, both Jay and Hailey woke up early: enough for Jay to grab his charcoal suit for court, and for Hailey to run back to her place so she too could get changed. She came out in a light gray pantsuit; her cheery coral top a stark contrast to the event that she was wearing it for.

"You good?" Jay asked, literally meaning about her being dressed and ready for court, but figuratively meaning to face their demons.

Hailey conveyed that she understood the sad double meaning behind his question, her expression more stoic as she nodded. She hopped into his truck, and the two drove the short distance to the courthouse.

They were greeted by their unit upon arrival, each consoling them in their own ways. Voight gathered them all back together, looking at each of them with a soft, yet grave stare. "No matter what, we all go home tonight with no regrets."

Adam, Kim, Kevin, Antonio, Jay, and Hailey all nodded, looking at each other as if eye contact would singlehandedly give them all strength. Jay grabbed Hailey's hand, and the two walked as confidently as they could up the steps, ready to face De'Von, Samuel, and whoever else decided to fight them. They just hoped they would make it out alive.

* * *

"Now while it's true that my client did some questionable things, it's also worth noting that the prosecution's defendants aren't innocent in this. They provoked him, instigating the brawl that took place in De'Von's mother's home. They-"

The rest of the defense lawyer's words were a blur to Hailey, who felt Jay's body stiffen in the chair next to her. She squeezed his hand under the table, and felt him relax slightly against her. Hailey thanked god that she remembered a Cylexa tablet this morning before she ran out of her apartment, otherwise, she would be the one boiling over with rage. Not that she wasn't angry, mind you, but she was definitely calmer than she would have been sans medication.

Next to her, Jay was definitely not calming down as much as he would have liked. He felt like his head was going to explode, but he tried to do the grounding exercise Dr. Barnes had suggested, finding 3 things in the courtroom, this time one's that happened to be black. _Their lawyer's briefcase. His shoes. And the clock that ticked by ever so slowly on the wall. _He sucked in a shaky breath, but noticed it becoming less so when he let it out. He squeezed Hailey's hand back, letting her know he was working through it. He caught her eye for a split-second, before Knolls tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hailey, you're up first."

Hailey released Jay's hand from hers and slowly stood up. She walked over to the witness stand and took her place before the court. She gave a general nod, but locked eyes with Jay once more before the judge introduced her. "And now, to give her statement is Detective Hailey Upton of the 21st District, Intelligence Unit."

Hailey cleared her throat, looking down for a split second. _You can do this_. "Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I am here to give my statement in regard to the events that took place on September 23 and 24. On the morning of September 23, I was sent in to retrieve my partner, Jay Halstead, from the hostage situation De'Von put him in. Despite what his lawyer says, neither I or Jay provoked Mr. Owens at any time. The fight ensued because I had to defend myself and my partner against their violent actions. They came at us, they attacked us, and they ended up incapacitating the both of us to the point of unconsciousness. We were then moved to another location, where we were chained to the wall, unable to escape. I didn't even know if he - Jay, I mean - was alive until that moment in time. Because during the fight, he put himself in harm's way to help me. That's why I'm here, to tell you" she looked De'Von straight in the eyes. "What a pathetic excuse for a human being you are. How dare you inflict that much pain on us both and for what? Huh?" Hailey could feel herself getting emotional, so she latched her eyes back onto Jay, who mouthed '_Just breathe. You're doing great_.' She did just as he said, and regained her composure.

"This incident has affected me more than you know. It has also impacted my partner's life as well. You cannot fathom how much anger I have inside of me; nor how much willingness I have to do this so that De'Von and his crew cannot hurt anyone else. I was forced to watch him almost kill Jay Halstead." She paused, wiping a tear from her eye. "He deserves to rot, hell, they all do. And doing that in a jail cell is the best thing I could ever ask for. Thank you."

Just as she made the move to step down, De'Von and his two accomplices stood up, getting rowdy and yelling.

"Bitch!"

"You're gonna wish you were dead after this."

The judge slammed the gavel down. "Order! Order in my court, now! Mr. Fowler, control your clients!" She called to the defense attorney. Their attorney, along with a couple security guards calmed them down.

Hailey was shocked, but honestly, not surprised by the incident. She didn't expect her body to have such a visceral reaction to it though. She had shuddered initially, her hands balling up into fists, and she could feel her pulse in her ears, her heart beating out of control. She had also seen Jay's reaction. He had stood up from his chair, a flash of rage in his eyes, but a cold scowl on his lips. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head as she made her way back to the prosecution's side. She could feel De'Von's eyes burning a hole in her head, but she forced herself to stare straight ahead. She held Jay's hand, this time for dear life, like he was the only thing keeping her together. _He was_. So, when she heard his name being called, she forced herself to unlace her fingers and let him go.

Jay stepped forward and up to the witness stand, where Hailey sat just mere minutes ago. His eyes emanated a look of resilience, for which Hailey nodded at him proudly for. She just hoped he could keep it in check for the both of them. "Now giving his impact statement is Detective Jay Halstead, District 21, Intelligence."

"As my partner Hailey already told you, I was abducted. And on that evening of September 22, De'Von Owens was the man who lured me from Molly's to my home, where I was taken from. He thought I was a Narcotics officer, so he feared me exposing his 'business.' I'll be the first to admit, yes, I was off duty, and yes, I was looking to buy off of him. But I had never done drugs in my life, nor have I, considering I never got the score in question. That does not mean I deserved to be kidnapped and beaten within an inch of my life. That definitely did not give him the right to put his hands on Hailey."

"She deserved it. So did you," De'Von muttered under his breath. Jay simmered from his seat, clenching his jaw.

"That's enough." The judge sternly said from the podium.

Jay only had one thing left to say, and he did so with an icy tone. "We did not deserve any of the hell you put us through, you piece of shit."

Jay's jaw ticked, but he surprisingly felt calm as he exited the box, although his face might have told a different story, as a large part of him was absolutely disgusted by De'Von and his men. _Despicable, just despicable._

He made his way back to his seat, and felt a familiar chill down his spine when Hailey leaned in to him. "I'm proud of you, you know that." She whispered, giving him one of her smiles that showcased the dimple in her cheek.

"Thanks," he whispered back. They stayed silent until the judge announced that based on today's events, Jay and Hailey's, as well as Kevin's CI's testimonies would be sworn in as evidence. De'Von, Samuel, and Tony's bails would be revoked, sending them to Statesville indefinitely. Given the inexcusable behavior demonstrated by the accused, Jay and Hailey's statement's would stand as given testimony, no need for them to take the stand again.

"As for you 3," the judge said, motioning to De'Von and his crew "You 3 will have another hearing to determine your sentence. Your accusers may be present, but you will refrain from any interaction. If you decide to disobey my order, I will decide your fate to the maximum amount allotted. Do you understand?"

De'Von, Samuel, and Tony were completely silent for once, their lawyer nodding for them.

"We're adjourned." The judge announced, banging the gavel a final time. Everyone dispersed, save for Hailey and Jay, who slowly got up and went over to find their co-workers standing at the back of the courtroom, arms open and waiting to support them.

"Good job, guys," Voight said, speaking for everyone. _Good job indeed_.

* * *

Back in the comfort of her apartment, Hailey let out a scream. All of the pent-up emotions from the last 8 hours had surfaced, and the scream was her way of (she hoped, anyway) releasing them. While she did feel a little bit of relief of her intense anxiety, her mind was still racing with images from today as she changed into lounge clothes. _De'Von and his guys coming at her, screaming and threatening. Having to watch Jay sit up there and recount their horrible ordeal. _She could practically feel his rage, his sadness, all of it. _Because she felt it too_. She hated what De'Von did, more to Jay than to herself. _I guess love will do that to you_. She sighed, deciding a long bath and a huge glass of wine would solve her problems…at least for tonight.

When he arrived home, Jay immediately crashed on the couch. He didn't care that it was 4PM on Monday. He was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. His anger was still bubbling underneath the surface, masked with sadness and worry. _Should they go to the sentencing hearing? What is Hailey thinking about all of this? _He regrets letting his emotions get the best of him, but what he really regrets is having to see Hailey go through all this with him. No, because of him. He tossed and turned, finding himself feeling overheated one minute and then freezing the next. His poor plaid throw blanket had been pulled up and down his body more times than he could count. He scrolled through his phone mindlessly, knowing he'd never be able to get good enough rest. He decided to go to the one place he'd be able to feel the world lift off his shoulders…if only for the next few hours.

Hailey was standing about knee deep in the hot water, not even caring if it was a bit too warm. She needed something to pierce through this numb feeling. Her mind had stopped racing….but it also just stopped thinking entirely. It was like she was a blank page. So if she could find some way to feel _anything_, even if it was hurt through pain – she would take it. She waded down into it, now waist deep, before peeling off the last layer of clothing she had on – her old University of Chicago tee shirt that she just wears around the house. She flipped on her music, turning it loud enough to hopefully drown everything else out. She submerged herself completely, feeling the heat almost penetrate her skin and seep into her pores. She opened her eyes, the water stinging slightly, but she was honestly glad for the feeling. She slowly rose up, slicking her hair back. She grabbed her wine glass, taking a long sip before leaning back against the tub's edge. Before long, she was drifting in and out – from tiredness or from the wine, it was anyone's guess – so she decided to work her way out of the bathtub and into a cozy robe. She had just slipped into her favorite white one and was running around her room trying to find her vanilla body lotion, therefore she was so distracted that she didn't hear her phone ring.

Jay was sitting in his car, Hailey's favorite tequila in hand, trying her cell phone once again. _Come on Hailey_. He didn't have to do any major detective work to figure out she was home: her car was parked in its usual spot, and he could see silvers of light from behind her curtains. _She'll probably just let you in when you come up, so just go_. He scolded himself, shaking his head. He decided to just do it, getting out of his truck and making his way up the stairs to her second floor apartment. He knocked, but no answer. He snuck a peek between her curtains, noting that her gray blazer from court was on her kitchen chair. He sent her a quick text, before swinging the bronze plated door latch back and forth to make a louder knocking sound. As he did that, her door creaked open a tiny bit. _Well, okay then_.

"Hailey?" He called out. He worked his way through her living room and kitchen, stopping down the hall in front of Hailey's room. He noticed that door too was cracked open, about a quarter of the way. He saw a shadow dance around the space, and he saw Hailey moving about, doing what he assumed was applying lotion. He caught a bit of vanilla, and didn't think anything could be sweeter. Even though it'd only been a few seconds, he figured he'd better do something to make it known he was actually in her house now. He knocked on the door, peaking in, acting like he hadn't been out there seconds prior.

"Hailey? You here–" he paused, his eyes betraying him by watching her every move. She had just raised her head up, eyes wide and bright. Jay watched as she quickly took her hand off her leg, where he assumed she had just finished putting the lotion. _Yeah okay, nice Jay. So much for not making this awkward._

Hailey stood upright, thanking God her robe had a fluffy enough collar to cover her neck and décolletage area. "Jay…" she said, almost in a confused fashion, like she didn't really understand. _Use your words, Hailey. Your words! _She tried to make her mouth move again, but it failed her. She quickly shut off her music, which tragically made the awkwardness that much more real with the silence.

"Sorry. I'll uh, I'll just be out there." He said, turning on his heels and quickly walking (okay, let's be honest: _running_) back out to the living room to sit on her couch. He sat the tequila down on her coffee table, debating on whether or not he should start straight from the bottle for his episode of stupidity back there. He held the neck of the glass bottle in his hand when Hailey reemerged from her bedroom, very much clothed, he might add. He couldn't help but meet her eyes.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting down next to him.

"Hey," he uttered the same. His eyes unabashedly traced her form again. Even with no makeup and sopping wet hair, she still looked good.

"So, any reason for you breaking and entering?" She teased him, chuckling.

"Eh, I blame the alcohol." He joked back, swinging the bottle in his hand for effect.

"You dork, that bottle is full as full can be!" She exclaimed, laughing some more.

"Okay fine, you caught me. Just wanted to make sure you were okay." He set the bottle down and instead took her hand. "Seriously, I was worried about you. So, I had to see that you were okay for myself. Sorry if I freaked you out. I knocked on your door latch and it forced the door open slightly. I didn't hear anything from you, so I got a little concerned. And now here we are."

"Yeah okay," she retorted. "Let me grab some glasses." She walked over to her kitchen cabinet and got a couple cups. A tiny bit of liquid courage was poured into each one.

"Here," she said, handing him his.

"Thanks."

They drank and filled the silence with their eyes, which communicated some of their thoughts and feelings.

"So seriously though, how are you doing?" He asked her, his eyes peaking with curiosity.

She sighed, setting her drink down on the table. "I'm okay."  
He arched his brows at her, as if to say _yeah I'm not buying it_.

She noticed, and relented. "Fine, I'm not really okay. But neither are you." She countered.

"But I'm used to it, Hailey; you're not."

"What, you mean the anxiety attacks and all that? It's not to say I haven't felt anxious before, but nothing like this. How did you deal with it? How _are_ you dealing with it?" She asked him, picking up her drink again.

"Honestly, right now it's because I have you. And knowing you're okay makes me feel better about things. I mean, I know you're not okay in peace of mind, but just you being here, that makes all the difference to me." He said, scooting over to her and pulling her in for a hug.

She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back. "I just couldn't believe how intense it got. And I felt….no, I _feel_ so bad for raising my voice like that. I'm usually so calm and collected in court. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but god, I could barely hold it together in there today! What the hell is wrong with me?!" She said, exasperated. She buried her head into his chest, crying for the second time in 24 hours.

Jay just held her, occasionally telling her it was okay, and that it'll work out. She heard him, and thanked him, but mostly just let the tears fall. It took a minute to realize that some of those tears weren't of sadness though, but of relief. That they actually faced De'Von, Samuel, and Tony in court. _And they survived it. Together. Like they did everything else._

"Jay?" She asked him, finally gaining her voice back.

"Yeah?" He looked down at her, his green eyes never tearing away from her blue ones.

"Will you stay tonight?" She asked, meekness standing in place of any lust.

He knew she just genuinely wanted – and needed – him here. "Of course I'll stay."

She smiled, and kissed him quickly, before they snuggled back up on her couch.

_They were together. She forgot the rest_.


	16. Talk that Talk

The sun shining through Hailey's curtains should have lifted her spirit, but at the current moment, all it did was annoy her. "Ugh."

She lifted her head up and was instantly worried. She didn't feel him there like she thought she would. But when she glanced at the other end of her couch, she saw him curled up there, sound asleep. She smiled, stretching to tap his leg with her foot. "Jay."

He made no movement, so she tried to playfully do the same motion. _Nada_. "Jay? Hey, Halstead!" She whispered yelled, not wanting to scare him awake. If he was having any nightmares, he wasn't telling her, but she didn't want to stir something up either.

She smirked as a different wake up call crossed her mind. She propped herself up on her elbows, wondering if he'd ever relax so she could easily do what she wanted. Maybe it was because their day yesterday was so rough, but whatever made it happen, Hailey was glad for, because Jay was _finally_ face up, splayed out on her couch. _Okay, here goes nothing_.

She quietly made her way over to him, hopefully looking more alluring than she felt. She could very well make a complete fool out of herself, but for Jay, she'd honestly do just about anything. She held herself up with her hands on either side of him, next to his shoulders. She carefully kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear. "Good Morning..." she singsonged.

He didn't exactly react to her kiss, more just turned his face a little. _Hm_. Hailey thought. _Okay, let's try this_. She moved to his lips, softly brushing hers against his. _Not a thing_. She rolled her eyes, and pushed her curtain of hair out of her face. She always hated gym class in school, but she always killed the fitness tests: sit-ups, pushups, chin-ups, and the like. She mentally gave herself a high five as she managed to steadily lower herself so she just hovered over him. She knew she probably looked ridiculous, but that wasn't why she was doing it in the first place. She then moved toward his jaw and down his neck, her kisses almost feather-light.

Since she was so focused on trying to make this semi-seduction plan work, she didn't actually notice that Jay did in fact, react to her. He had snapped his eyes open, a smile playing on his lips. He'd gladly go right back to sleep if it meant she kept this up though. Not wanting her to know he was awake (or stop what she was doing), when Hailey's eyes fluttered back up to his face, he already shut down, acting like he was still asleep. Her hair brushed against his cheek, and he could tell she was coming back up to try her plan again. Her breath felt hot against his ear as her lips grazed it, and he knew he was going to have to give in eventually. _Damn, she's good_.

Hailey swore she saw his eyelids twitch, as if his eyes were active behind the scenes. She couldn't be sure though if he was awake, but she knew a way she could find out. Her left hand gripped the back cushion of her couch, holding herself up while she tried to sneak her hand under his shirt. She maneuvered the hem of his white tee shirt up slightly, her mouth following the lead. She had made it about a quarter of the way when she _definitely_ noticed his reaction this time. She glanced down, biting her lip . _Shit, shit, shit_! _Yeah, she was going for sexy, but not all the way at 8AM_! She shifted a little bit, pulling her torso out of that slightly awkward situation. Her face was equal to his now, so she finished her mission with a long, hard kiss on his lips. She smirked when she felt him smile against her lips.

"You jerk!" She said, leaning back on her legs, letting her hands linger on his chest. She wasn't really mad at him (_how could she be?!_), but dammit, he had managed to distract _her_, when all along she was trying to do the exact _opposite_.

"Well good morning to you too, Hailey." He broke into a huge grin.

"Glad to see you're awake," she said, leaning back down to kiss him again. He surprised her by gripping her arms, thereby stopping her movement, so he could take control by flipping her over.

"I think you've done enough work, don't you agree?" He winked before essentially doing the same thing she had attempted to do for him. His satisfaction was that much better though knowing she was in fact awake, and she was in fact, actively reacting to his revenge. He had to force himself to pull away from her lips so he could continue to mimic her earlier movements.

"Damn," Hailey sighed as he had made it down her neck once again. She sucked in a breath as Jay tempted fate by getting dangerously close to where her lace camisole let up. She selfishly pulled him back to her lips, craving that blissful feeling. She just hoped it would last through the rest of the day too.

* * *

"So, Hailey, tell me, how was court yesterday?" Dr. Barnes had a notepad out, pen ready to write.

Hailey found herself staring at the items, spacing in and out since she arrived at her appointment 5 minutes ago. "Hm?" She glanced back up at the older woman, so poised and content in this moment in time. She ran a hand through her hair, purposely stalling.

"How was the hearing yesterday, Hailey? Did you and Jay make it through okay?"

Hailey sighed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, even though she had one hell of a wake up call. She tore her mind away from this morning and dropped it back into the present moment. "Yeah, I mean, it went about as well as can be expected."

"And what does that look like? Or, what did that look like, rather?" Dr. Barnes pressed.

Hailey chewed on her bottom lip, knowing what the therapist wanted to hear. _Details, Hailey, it's all in the details_. "Everything was going decent, but I did get a little overemotional while on the stand. I was able to reign it in though, and the medicine helped in keeping my emotional levels lower than they would have been otherwise."

Dr. Barnes smiled. "That's good, I'm glad you're noticing a difference. But honestly Hailey, it might just be a placebo effect. Most anti-anxiety meds take at least 2 weeks to fully work in your system; anti-depressants about 4. Did you use any other techniques?"

Hailey shook her head, but she remembered seeing Jay focused on seemingly nothing in the courtoom, but she knew he was intentionally looking at these things for a reason. "But Jay might have."

"Oh yeah? Tell me about that."

"He kind of focused on certain items in the courtroom. Like a black breifcase, he glanced down at his shoes for a moment longer than normal, things like that."

Dr. Barnes nodded, giving Hailey a knowing smile. Hailey gave her a nervous laugh back. "What? What is it?"

"Jay was using a grounding exercise. It takes you back to the present moment by forcing your mind to look at anything, and identify something about it. A color, a design, the shape, whatever it may be. Person, place, or thing, it doesn't matter. As long as you're luring your mind into an active thought process that overrides its active trauma response. Do you want to try one?"

Hailey pondered it. She was a little hesitant, not sure if it would actually work. But, then again, what else did she have to lose? She nodded her head yes, and Dr. Barnes instructed her to identify 3 things in the room, and repeat them back to her.

Hailey's eyes scanned the room. She noticed a small orange ornament on a shelf behind Dr. Barnes. "The orange." She said, her head nodding to the figurine.

"Ah yes, I got that from Florida. It's where I'm from originally. So, try to find something else that's orange." Hailey glanced around the room again.

"The folder." She pointed to a bright orange folder on the doctor's desk. "Aaaaaand," she noticed a post-it note on a cork board. "That post-it."

"Good, very good, Hailey. So, how do you feel?"

Hailey shrugged. "I don't really feel any different."

Dr. Barnes countered, "Well then let me ask you this: were you thinking about yesterday at all while you were doing the exercise?"

Hailey was about to automatically say 'yes', but when she actually thought about it, the real answer was 'no.' She relayed that back, and Dr. Barnes nodded.

"That's the real point of the exercise. Yes it grounds you, but it really retrains your brain to completely focus on something else. It uses your Broca's area and occipital lobe of your brain, as opposed to your pre-frontal cortex or frontal lobe."

Hailey looked at her like she was speaking Spanish. She took science in school, but let's face it: that was 15 years ago by now. She knew the parts of the brain, but what they did, she could never keep straight. _Irony_.

Dr. Barnes clarified: "Sorry. The former controls your speech and visual cues. So you were able to see the things and speak them to me; instead of using the latter, which involves emotional processing."

Hailey nodded, now having a better understanding. "Alright, that makes sense. I will definitely keep that in mind for the next time I get super overwhelmed."

Dr. Barnes scribbled down another note, before nodding in agreement. "Good, that's good. I'm glad. Now, what else did you want to talk about today?"

"Well, I guess...the only other thing about the trial that has been bugging me is that Jay had to suffer through it too. And I still can't fully accept that this whole thing isn't my fault. I tried to believe him when he told me that at the hospital, but my mind just keeps circling back to the same thing - that if I hadn't gone off script, we wouldn't be in this position."

"That's a lot to unpack. Let's start with Jay. Now what exactly happened when he spoke in court?"

"De'Von and his crew were still angry, so then just said some nasty things. Course they said some nasty things to me too, saying that I was a bitch and that I'd wish I was dead after I did this to them...testify, I mean. But I just hated to see Jay be provoked. He's already been through so much."

"Hailey, you're so empathetic that these influx of other people's feelings are overpowering your ability to identify your own. How did _you_ feel going through it?"

"I mean I cried later that night; and when I got home I screamed. I just assumed it was my anxiety getting to me."

Dr. Barnes wrote some more notes down. "Yes, it could have been. But think about how you _felt_, not what you did. Dig deep, really think."

Hailey went over the last 24 hours with a fine tooth comb. "I mean, the tears were obviously because I was sad; so I guess the scream was maybe like...I don't know, letting out my frustration? So, anger?"

Dr. Barnes smiled. "Hailey, this isn't a test. There's not a right or wrong answer. Just tell me, talk it out."

Hailey sighed, but attempted to put her thoughts into words. "Well, see, but then I had a moment where I almost felt relief, so much so that I cried again. I've rarely cried when I'm anything else besides sad. So I guess I just didn't identify it as relief, but I thought it was a weird side of sadness. Does any of that make sense?"

Dr. Barnes smiled again. "Yes, that makes perfect sense. You felt relief, because this tremendous weight was lifted off your shoulders. You, Hailey, _you_ went through with the trial. You gave your statement, and you released that from your system. When we carry such heavy things, figuratively, I mean– and we then release them, we can often feel relieved. Like it's finally over. But just because the event is over, doesn't mean you're done dealing with the emotions from it. That might have been why you experienced such a range over the last 24 hours."

Hailey nodded, surprisingly enjoying making these connections. It was like putting pieces of a puzzle together - only the puzzle was her brain, this time. _She liked this therapy thing._

Before she knew it, her session was over, and she walked outside to find Jay sitting in the waiting room.

"Wait, I thought you were only doing it once a week?" She asked him, walking over to him, standing in front of his chair.

He shrugged. "I am, but I made my appointment after yours because I wanted to make sure your first, like, real session went alright. I wanted to be here to support you is all."

Hailey smiled at him. "God, I love you. Did I tell you that already? Because if not, I do, it's true." She kissed him, and when she felt his mouth melt into hers, she almost melted herself. _Yeah, this was the best feeling_.

Jay broke the kiss, but only to tell her that he loved her too. Unfortunately, Dr. Barnes broke up their moment by calling for Jay to come in to the office.

Jay sighed, his arms unwrapping themselves from Hailey. She stopped him real quick. "Don't worry babe, we'll pick this up later." It was her turn to wink, and she watched that sexy spark ignite in his eyes, and she couldn't have been happier to have therapy this morning if she tried.

* * *

"So, Jay, how're you today?" Dr. Barnes asked him.

_Better before you killed the moment_. Jay thought to himself, though he didn't vocalize it to the therapist. "I am actually doing okay."

"What's okay mean? I mean, for you? What does that really mean? Are you genuinely 'middle of the road' riding the wave along; or is it a bunch of BS?" Jay was surprised she used that slang word correctly. She wasn't by any means ancient, but at least 25 years his senior.

"Eh, I think for me, okay actually means middle of the road. Like, I'm not super stressed, but I'm also not super happy either. I guess it's because I had my first nightmare last night. It wasn't in its usual form though, because normally I thrash around and feel it physically. This time, it was just like a really vivid dream, like I was transported right back to that god awful house." He sighed, burying his head in his hands. "And Hailey doesn't know. .I couldn't tell her..."

Dr. Barnes eyed him suspiciously. Jay relented. "Okay fine, I didn't want to worry her. She's dealing with a lot right now too."

"True, but she is one of your support people, correct?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah, she's the best support for me right now. She's helping me get through the days lately. I just want to help her too."

"Well, don't you think it would help her to know how you're _really_ doing? She's not a mind reader, remember. She only knows as much as you let her." Jay smiled at the fact that Dr. Barnes didn't know all of his and Hailey's history. _She knows more about me sometimes than I do myself_. But he understood what she meant.

"I guess yes. Being honest is one of the most important parts of recovery, but also just of any relationship really. That trust is important. I want to have that with her. It's just a little scary...to let her all the way in."

"Because when you did that the last time, your heart got broken."

"Yeah."

"Well, Jay if you love her as much as I bet you do, then you know she's worth the risk. She's not gonna let you fall. You're in control of your perception. Hailey is not Erin. This relationship you have with her is not the same as the one you had with Erin, or with anyone previous."

Jay knew this. Overgeneralization – where you base your whole perspective off of one event; i.e.: basing all of his new relationships to his old one...and thinking they'll all end up the same.. This was a lovely cognitive distortion that he was guilty of doing quite a bit.

"I know. It's just been harder to catch myself when this comes up."

Dr. Barnes nodded. "Well, you've been through another trauma, so those automatic responses kick back into high gear. Your rational mind is kind of on the backburner again. So, you have to keep trying, keep practicing, that's the only way you'll get that 'wise mind mentality' back into your regular routine."

Jay nodded, letting this somewhat comforting information wash over him. _He'd done it before; he could do it again. And if he could do that, he could be honest with Hailey. _He honestly (no pun intended) just wanted to be able to talk to her - like they used to do. Not that things had changed all that much. But he knew they had a lot more to discuss. So, when he left the counseling office, he shot off a quick text to Hailey.

_Let's go out tonight. Fun dinner, but do our thing that works after. _

She immediately replied. _Wouldn't wanna do anything else, partner. _


	17. Love Lost

Hailey was spritzing perfume on her wrists when her phone buzzed. She smiled when she saw his little contact photo pop up. She picked it up, moving up between her ear and her neck. "Hey, I'll be down in like 5 minutes."

"Alright, take your time. Can't wait to see you." She could hear the happiness in his voice. She loved that _she_ was the thing he was happy about.

She quickly hung up and ran around the corner to find her black flats. She slipped them on, and readjusted her black halter dress. She found herself hurrying to grab her chain link purse and keys because she couldn't wait to see him either.

She practically ran down her stairs, thanking god for her smart shoe choice. She saw him leaning against his truck, sunglasses and leather jacket adding to the cool effect. He perked up instantly when she saw her.

"Hey," he took a few steps forward and wrapped her in a hug.

"Hi," she said eagerly. She'd be perfectly content staying like this for the rest of time. Course, her stomach had other ideas, ruining their embrace by growling.

They chuckled at the interruption, but got in the truck to go to dinner anyway.

"So, where are we off to?" She asked, taking in the sights of Chicago as the afternoon turned into evening.

He glanced over at her from the driver's seat. "If you must know...Momatarro."

Her eyes lit up at the prospect of Italian food. "Well then drive faster!" She teased, slapping her hands against the dash.

He laughed at that. She was always excited about the little things. He liked seeing her happy, even if it was simply over food.

"Okay speed demon, slow your roll." He said, patting her hand.

She scoffed, but smiled at him.

15 minutes later, they pulled up to the lovely establishment. The valet took the car, but not before Jay ran around to open Hailey's door. She rolled her eyes, but was secretly glad he was such a nice guy like that.

"Such a gentleman," she complimented, taking his hand as he helped her off the track.

"I try," he replied, hooking her arm around his.

"Well it's working for you." She said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "By the way, while you do look exceptional in that suit, I can't wait to get it _off_ you later." She whispered, giving him that innocent _'who me?'_ look.

Jay's eyes widened in surprise by her boldness; and if he hadn't already made a reservation here, they'd definitely be back home now. But his hunger for food took over his craving for her, so he'd have to be patient. As his eyes attempted to satiate his desire by raking themselves over her body, which was beautifully decked out in a deep V-neck halter dress, he knew it'd be worth the wait.

* * *

"Welcome to Momatarro. What can I get for you?"

Jay looked to Hailey, who went ahead and ordered first. "Um, can I get the Fettuccine Bolognese, please?"

Jay nodded at their server, "And I'll have the same please. Thank you."

"So," he started as they were finally alone again. "Remind me again why we're _not_ back at your place or mine right now?"

Hailey giggled. "Because we're starving!" She touched her stomach for emphasis.

"Oh, well, sure..." Jay chided, moving his chair right next to hers. "But pasta's not the _only_ thing I wanna taste tonight."

Hailey felt his words go straight through her, and she had to literally bite her tongue to keep from unraveling. "Jay Halstead, you are evil..." she staggered through clenched teeth.

"Hey you started it," he practically growled in her ear.

"Uh huh, we'll see who finishes later then." She ran her finger along the side of his face, from the top of his hair to his lips.

Their scandalous words were put on hold by the arrival of their food, which they did eat quickly, partly out of pure hunger, partly out of pure excitement for what was next.

"Check please," Jay said, literally tossing cash down on the table before grabbing Hailey and flagging down the valet.

"I don't think you run this fast unless you're chasing a criminal," she taunted him, her head leaning against his shoulder.

"Well you did steal my heart," he quipped.

She let out a good laugh at that one. He was so cheesy, but she couldn't see him any other way.

* * *

The drive back to her place was the longest 20 minutes of their lives, and Hailey jumped from his truck when they arrived, pulling him inside with her.

"I'm not waiting another second," she breathed, attacking his lips with hers. He greedily accepted, kissing her back with just as much force.

"I didn't think it was possible for you to get sexier, but I've never been gladder to be wrong," he said, his voice getting lower the more frantic they both became. His hands roamed over her body, loving how in sync she was with him, as her hands were exploring his.

"Off," she said, referring to his motorcycle style jacket. He easily shrugged it off his shoulders, leaving his vest, dress shirt and pants. She shook her head. "Nope this too." She said, hurriedly undoing the few buttons of his black vest.

"Okay, okay," he said, a chuckle escaping his lips at her eagerness. "But you're not getting off the hook that easy," he warned, his hand snaking around to her neck to untie the halter of her dress.

She pushed him slowly back towards her bedroom, and he surprised her by picking her up and carrying her over the half step. She let out something between a laugh and gasp at his action, but she wasn't complaining one bit.

He had turned them around when he picked her up, so she was looking at him instead of around him to her room.

"On the left," she said, and he made the journey in mere seconds. She felt her head hit one of her plush pillows as Jay lowered her to the bed.

She kissed him again, her lips making their well-loved track down his jaw and neck. He groaned, seriously thinking he'd lose it before long.

He decided to speed things up a little, discarding his vest and dress shirt completely. Hailey let the straps off her dress fall off her shoulders, trying to shift it off her a little bit more.

Jay ran his hand over her legs, which were exposed up to her lower thigh. He felt Hailey move against him, her hips trying to get some friction against his.

He took a chance and slipped his hand up to her thigh, running it under the fabric of her dress. He'd made it halfway when he felt Hailey pull his hand from her body and pinch her legs shut.

She thought she could handle it, but as soon as she felt his hand there, she was taken back to De'Von and disgusting moves he made on her body when he searched her.

"Jay, I'm sorry," she rasped, her voice on the verge of cracking. "Stop, **stop**." She said, a little more forcefully.

He did what she wanted, leaning back onto his legs. He pulled her up to him, and she sat up, not looking at him. He watched her retie her halter dress, and noticed her cheeks were red.

"Hailey," he whispered, tentatively placing his hand on her shoulder. She flinched under his touch.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, eyes still fixed straight ahead.

"Hailey, hey, look at me..." he asked. "Where are you right now?" He was trying figure out if she was having a flashback or not. He knows them well.

"I, no, I can't. **I can't**," she said, her voice breaking too. She pushed him away, running out of her room.

"Hailey! Wait!" Jay called, throwing his unbuttoned dress shirt over his torso, running after her. He found her sitting completely still on her couch, but tears were streaming down her face.

"Hailey, please, talk to me." Jay begged. He stood where he was, not wanting her to react negatively to his touch. "_Please_." He could feel tears prick his eyes, his heart breaking for the woman in front of him.

"Just go, please." She whispered, barely audible.

"Ha-"

"**Jay**!" She yelled, choking back some tears. "**Please**!" When she did finally look up at him, he was frightened by what he saw - or rather, what he didn't see - in her eyes. It was like he could see inside of her, like she was hollowed out. Her usual vibrant emotions were replaced by a ghostly nothingness.

"Fine," he whispered. "I'll go." He turned, going back to her room to grab the rest of his clothes. But then, just like that, he was gone.

He didn't see Hailey flinch when the door closed. He didn't see her body rack with sobs, her mind spinning out of control.

* * *

She cried until her eyes stung. She couldn't stop long enough to even do a grounding exercise. She promised herself she would do it once the tears stopped. When they did, she went through the motions like she did earlier today.

She felt her breathing return to normal, and at least her head was clear. Her vision, however, was still blurred by the remnants of tears. She stood up and grabbed a tissue, wiping her eyes. She looked at the time, 11PM. _Good lord_, she thought. She had spent a whole hour in hysterics. _So much for their fun night._

She suddenly went racing around her house for her phone, desperate to get a hold of Jay. She shoved the memories of De'Von away, not wanting them to pop back up again. She took a couple deeper breaths as she found her phone and dialed his number.

"Jay?" She asked hesitantly.

"Hailey, thank god. Are you okay? I mean, god I know you're not okay, but I mean, are you safe?"

She could hear the panic in his voice, so she did her best to reassure them that yes, she was safe at home.

"I'm so sorry Jay. I- it just came flooding back to me. It was like I could feel his hands on me, not yours. It was like I wasn't there with you anymore..." she tried to explain.

"I understand Hailey. Listen, we need to talk some more, if that's okay with you? There's something I need to tell you too. Do you mind if I stop back over?" He asked, ready for a rejection.

"No, I don't mind. You can come by. Hey- I know it's probably not the best idea, but can you bring over-"

"-some beer? I have a six pack in my fridge. I'll bring it with me." He said.

"Yeah? Okay, good. See you soon."

She was pacing around her living room when he knocked on her door. She let him in, immediately grabbing a beer from the pack and cracking it open. "Ah," she sighed, gulping down the glorious alcohol. "Much better."

Jay shook his head, setting the rest on her kitchen counter before grabbing one for himself. "Fine," he started "Drinks first, but **then** we talk. Deal?" He came over and sat next to her.

She reached her beer bottle to meet his in a cheers. "Deal."

The beer went faster than they thought, both deciding after two they would stop and get serious.

"What did you have to tell me?" Hailey asked, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

Jay sighed, his arm draped behind her. "I understand what you meant by the flashbacks. Because they're technically called nightmares, vivid ones that is. I had my first one last night." He looked down at the floor, too embarrassed to meet her eyes.

Hailey wrapped her arms around him, placing her head on his shoulder, making him face her.

"Jay, why didn't you tell me?" She asked, concerned for him.

"I didn't want to worry you. The ptsd nightmares I have experienced before were strictly physical, like I'd thrash around, sometimes even go into fight mode. I accidentally hit Will's jaw once when he tried to get me out of it."

"Oh gosh, Jay," she ran her hand through his hair. "I'm- god I'm at a loss for words. What can I do?" She asked, her other hand coming around to grip his.

He laced his fingers with hers. "I'm not sure really. I guess I have to just wait it out. But just like I wanted for you, I'm sure you'll want to comfort me. I guess if you just talk to me like I tried to do for you, that might help jolt me back to reality." He squeezed her hand. "What about you? What can I do to help you?"

Hailey removed her hand from his hair, running it through her own as she contemplated her answer. "Honestly, just kind of like you said. I mean if you're here and it happens, just try to talk me down. Oh, I know. Remind me that I can do a grounding exercise. Those help me a lot, but I couldn't get myself to do one while I was crying tonight. I mean, I did it afterwards, and it still helped, but I'm sure I could've calmed down faster if I did it sooner."

"Alright, I can do that for you." He reasoned, kissing the top of her head.

She cuddled up to him, enjoying the warmth he gave her. "And I'll do the same for you." She said, her eyes peering into his for the first time in a while.

He nodded, pulling her as close as possible to him. "Wanna take your mind off this?" He genuinely asked, not even a hint of suggestiveness in his voice.

She nodded, walking over to her tv and grabbing the remote. She flipped on her TiVo, and they scrolled through movies until they found one they could both agree on. As the opening credits came on for _Fast & the Furious_, Hailey stole a quick glance at Jay. _He really was the best. _Any other guy would've been gone in a heartbeat after her mild meltdown, but not Jay. Not ever.

She noticed his dress shirt was only halfway buttoned up, so she slipped her hand on his bare chest, making him look down at her. He smiled, wrapping her hand in his. So tonight didn't go as he planned exactly, but he was just glad this wasn't the end for them. They'd get another chance to have their moment. They just needed to be there for each other through this first.

And as he looked down at Hailey, who was trying so hard not to fall asleep on him, he knew he'd never want to be anywhere else.


	18. Let's Go to Work

**A/N: Hi guys. I know, two chapters in one day - crazy right? Hope you guys like them though. This one features cameos from some _Chicago Fire_ favorites - things get pretty intense, to say the least. I hope to crank out a few more chapters before wrapping up this story... but for now, enjoy. And let me know what you think in the reviews if you're so inclined. Thanks for all the feedback thus far! **

* * *

Hailey woke up and for once, Jay was actually nowhere to be found. She was walking around her apartment very confused until she heard her phone chiming like crazy. She curiously ran into her kitchen, where it sat plugged in since she and Jay spent their night on her couch. A flurry of texts filled her screen:

_Hailey, we got a case._

_Hailey, meet us at 1029 Roosevelt._

_Upton, you there?_

_Hails, hello?_

_Shit_. She was officially late. So much for a relaxing morning. And apparently so much for their light duty. Granted, Hailey noticed as she unlocked her phone, it was Wednesday, only two days from when they were scheduled to be cleared from the desk. Goodbye meaningless paperwork, she thought. She was so ready to get back out there. With that excitement at the forefront of her mind, she threw on some clothes and grabbed her keys, racing out to her car in a flash.

"Hey," Jay acknowledged her arrival with a nod.

"Hey," she did the same, trying not to take the cold shoulder thing too personally. _He probably just wants to keep it professional at work, as would I_, she reminded herself. Maybe it was just her being groggy, or maybe she was simply craving him again, who knows.

She turned her attention back to her sergeant, who was addressing the team as to their game plan. "These idiots didn't get very far, we know they just robbed this one bank so far," Voight said, pointing to the Chicago Credit Union behind them. "So, Kevin, you and Adam get that security footage and comb through it frame by frame. Kim, you Hailey, and Antonio start knocking on doors for witnesses. Jay, we think they were ex-military, so we'll need your insight into weaponry or mindset, motive."

They all nodded, splitting up into their assigned trios or duos. Voight and Jay stayed in the general vicinity, an awkward silence brewing between them. Voight spoke up, his gruff voice a stark contrast to the wind whipping around them, almost like a wolf's howl through the dark.

"How're you and Hailey doing? I mean, with the therapy?"

"We're both doing good," Jay answered truthfully. _They're good, they're always gonna be good_.

"You know, your 2 weeks of light duty is almost up. Have you and Hailey been back to Med yet?"

Jay shook his head. "No, but I can drop by and have Will do a quick check later today."

Voight nodded. "Good. After this recon, go do that. No excuses." He added, looking at his detective with a serious face.

"Of course, Sarge. Promise." Jay reassured him.

* * *

Kevin and Adam came back with a lead in hand. "We got 'em. Morons took their masks off when they got in their car." Adam started.

"They ran a red light, and bam: we have a picture." Kevin finished.

Voight and Jay nodded. "Alright, let's see it."

Adam and Kevin handed them the photo. The guys in the photo didn't look to be more than 20, 25 at most. Jay's eyes automatically focused on the assault rifle in the one guy's hands in the passenger seat.

"Yep, the one in the forefront of the camera," Jay pointed to the guy holding the gun. "He's definitely served. That's an automatic assault rifle. Hard to tell what type from here, but I'll look into our military database and see what I can find. Hey Kev, text me that photo, please and thank you."

Kevin gave him a thumbs up, and Jay received the photo in seconds. He ran back to his truck and was going to head back to the district when he remembered the mobile technology setup in Antonio and Voight's car. He ran over to it, climbing in the driver's seat and logging on.

He typed in the search criteria they had: WHITE, MALE, 20-25, WEAPON CHOICE _ ASSAULT RIFLE.

15 results came up, but it was no trouble for Jay to narrow it down. _Gotcha now_.

"I got one!" He yelled from the car, racing back to Hank, Adam, and Kevin.

Jay showed them the page. AARON HARRISON, 22. JOINED RANKS AT 18, EX-ARMY.

"Cross reference that name with whatever else facial rec pulls up on the driver." Voight ordered. Jay nodded, going back to the mobile command.

Within seconds, he pulled another result. BRADEN YORK. 21, NAVEL TRAINING ACADEMY.

"Why the hell are promising youths robbing banks?" Kevin pondered aloud.

"Greed's a funny thing, Kev." Adam offered.

As if on cue, Kim, Hailey, and Antonio came back from down the block with more info.

"Hank, we got a witness that saw a Black Jeep speed off down Columbus. That's just down the road!" Kim said, waving her notepad in her hand.

"Alright, let's move!" Voight yelled, and his unit split off into their normal pairs: Antonio and Kim, Jay and Hailey, Kevin and Adam.

* * *

Voight's car went first, followed by Antonio and Kim, the Kevin and Adam, and Hailey and Jay finished it out. Antonio tailed Voight, while Adam sped down Ohio, which cut across to Columbus slightly faster. Hailey was figuring Jay would pull up alongside Voight or Antonio's car, but he made an abrupt left turn, almost throwing her back in her seat.

"Jay, what the hell?"

"I saw them turn down here."

"I'll radio the team," Hailey said, her voice going over the walkie. "5021 Henry, plainclothes officers responding to suspects on that robbery at CCU. Hold us down on the alleyway off of Erickson Boulevard. All of Intelligence will be en route."

"5021 Henry, copy that. Holding you down on that location." The operator relayed back.

Since the whole unit ran on that police frequency, Hailey knew they wouldn't be far behind them. Her assumptions were right when she saw Voight, Antonio and Kim, followed by Adam and Kevin. They all lined up, Voight giving the signal to fan out.

Antonio and Kim went out first, staying against the brick wall that lined one side of the alleyway. Adam and Kevin were on the other, which housed side doors of older businesses. Voight was at the helm, Jay and Hailey flanking in the center.

They had made it down the main section of the alleyway, just before it split off onto unpaved roads. Antonio and Kim took the left, Adam and Kevin the right. Voight went with Antonio and Kim, Hailey and Jay decided to go with Adam and Kevin.

Kim, Antonio, and Voight cleared the left side. Kevin and Adam were a few feet ahead of Jay and Hailey, checking around corners and peaking in the windowed doors around the last few buildings. Hailey was just about to follow suit, when she realized Jay wasn't next to her anymore.

"Jay?" She radioed stealthily. Nothing. "Jay?" she tried again.

She tried to get Adam and Kevin's attention, but when she turned, they had rounded the corner, finishing the weird circle they had created.

_Shit_. She radioed into the emergency line. "5021 Henry, plainclothes officers still on scene of Erickson Boulevard. One of our guys is MIA, requesting backup at the corner of Erickson and Charleston." She fired off, noticing the tattered road sign as she veered off to the left, the only other way that hadn't been cleared. She drew her weapon as she came face to face with some kind of factory.

She dropped lower as she slipped in through the halfway open door. She cleared in front and to the side of her, going around copper wire barrels. She thought it was odd, but didn't give it as much as thought as she did in finding Jay.

She heard a crash, and whirled around with her gun raised. "Chicago PD!" She yelled out into the darkened space. Lights flickered sporadically above her, some emitted that annoying low buzzing sound. She continued moving toward where she thought the crash came from.

Shadows bounced off the walls, and she stopped where she was, readying her gun to shoot. "Chicago PD! Come out with your hands up!"

She was met with a familiar figure, and she withdrew her weapon. "Jay?" She asked, as his face came into the flickering light.

He still had his raised slightly, pulsing them up and down. "I'm not hurt," he reassured her.

"Then where the hell did you go?!" She accused, drawing nearer to him.

"I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I just acted on instinct. Didn't really think it through." He said, slightly embarrassed that his move made her worry.

"Jay, you scared the hell out of me! Let me call off the backup now that you're okay." She said, gripping her radio on her vest.

She had just turned it on when they both heard movement again. They fell into sync again, drawing their weapons at the sound, which they _thought_ was coming from behind Jay, in front of Hailey.

Before they could do anything else, something came toppling down from a construction site on the second floor. Now it was Hailey's turn to act on instinct, pushing Jay out of the way as a roll of copper wire came crashing down where they stood seconds before. What she didn't count on was it collapsing and coming unraveled, trapping her foot in the mess of metal.

"Ah!" She screamed, feeling the wire grip her boot tightly. The more she tried to move, the more it cut into the leather material, and she hissed when she felt it draw blood from her skin.

"Hailey!" Jay was up from his fallen position on the floor. He had been spared thanks to her quick thinking, but his panic level for her wellbeing was rising.

"Jay, go, go! You can't lose him!" She sternly said, clenching her jaw to not cry out in pain again.

He hesitated for another second, before taking off up the wiry staircase. "Chicago PD!" He yelled, "Let me see your hands!" Hailey tried to watch from below, but her viewpoint was terrible. She had seen him get to the second floor, gun draw as he passed through the painter's tarp.

"Hailey?" She craned her head at the new voice saying her name. It was Adam, with Kevin following behind him.

"Jesus, Hailey, what the hell happened?" He said, trying to help her sit up.

Before he even touched her hand, Kevin pulled him back. "Bro, there's a live wire! We can't get to her, if you do, you'll get lit up!"

Adam's jaw dropped, looking from Hailey to Kevin. He radioed in the 911. "5021 Ida, roll CFD and paramedics to our location. Live wire situation, plainclothes officers on scene."

The operator responded. "5021 Ida, Firehouse 51 and Ambulance 61 responding."

* * *

Kim, Antonio, and Voight rolled up on the scene, surveying the chaos.

Hailey looked at her foot again, struggling against the pain that writhed through her lower extremities. Her mind was freaking out too, as she was instantly reminded of her ankle chain in that horrific warehouse. _Her body screaming in pain as she tried to get up. Falling back down. All with one goal. To get to Jay._ Hailey's eyes were wide. _Jay_. "Where's Jay? Guys, he went after the suspect upstairs. Go, go!" She pleaded. Voight, Antonio, and Kim hurried up the stairs to back Jay up.

Adam, Kevin, and Hailey all cringed when they heard barrels crashing on the second floor. Hailey felt her eyes wet with worry, but she forced the tears back into her.

"Drop the gun, or we will shoot you!" Hailey distinctively heard Kim's voice give that command.

Seconds later, gunfire was exchanged. _Oh god_. Adam and Kevin's hands went to their holsters, ready for action if needed. The 3 of them sighed in relief when they saw their other 4 team members come out, seemingly unharmed.

She continued to lay on the ground, helpless as she watched Jay's eyes fearfully take in her current situation. He hadn't seen a live wire before he left her. She watched as he ran down the stairs, guilt drowning his features.

"Hail–" he tried to get to her, but Kevin and Adam had to hold him back.

"Bro, you can't." Kevin insisted.

"No, we can get her out!" Jay said, pushing against his fellow detectives.

"Jay," Adam yanked him back. "Jay!" He said, forcing his friend to stop moving entirely.

His panic only mildly subsided as he heard the sirens of help arriving.

"Over here!" Voight yelled.

Chief Boden, Matt Casey, and Kelly Severide were the first 3 on scene. "What do we got?" Kelly asked.

"Hailey's trapped in the copper barrel. Her foot is tangled in a live wire." Kim relayed to them.

Kelly and Matt nodded.

"Tony, get me the sawzall. Capp, grab me a coat and a helmet." Kelly barked. His fellow firefighters obeyed, running to the truck for the proper materials.

Matt inspected the situation from afar. "Has it sparked yet?" He asked, his voice cloaked in concern. If it had, they were in more trouble than they thought.

Kevin and Adam shook their heads. "No, no it hasn't."

"Okay, good. We can set up a land grab, still using the ropes, but no connecting chains as it is conductive to the copper. Hey Otis! Get me the ropes. Mouch, ready the pulley!"

Truck 81 readied their equipment, hooking Matt into a rope, and giving him one to connect Hailey's wrist to his pull.

Capp and Tony came back with their materials, and Matt was ready with the rope. Just as Casey made the move to go in, the frayed end of the wire sparked up, making them jump back a bit.

"Capp!" Kelly called. Capp sprang into action, shielding Upton with the jacket, which blocked her face from the sparks.

"Shit!" Kelly cursed under his breath.

Jay heard him, his ears burning. "What? What?" He worriedly asked.

"We can't make any sudden movement until there's a break in the spark. Our coats cover us, but that's not the concern. Our oxygen can be exposed to it, which can lead to the breathing in of their mixed fumes, which are deadly." Casey butted in, explaining it to Jay.

"No, no, no!" He cried out. He let out a frustrated yell.

He locked eyes with Hailey, and she understood. This very well could be it. She remained as still as possible, forcing her eyes to never leave Jay, no matter how many tears were now streaming down her face.

"No, Jay, stop!" She screamed when she saw him take off running towards her. She knew him. She knew he'd give his life for hers in a heartbeat. But so would she. And honestly, she was more stubborn. Always had been.

Casey and Severide grabbed him, Jay still trying to fight against their 75 pounds of equipment.

"Get him out of here!" They told Adam and Kevin. The two detectives tried to hold Jay back, but it took them, plus Voight to get him out of the factory.

They had to drag him outside and hold him in place until he stopped fighting them. His body was tormented with dry, heaving sobs as he fell to the ground against the car.

There was only one thought that ran through his mind. _He never even got to say goodbye_.


	19. When We Were Normal

**Quick A/N: I'm back - longer chapter as I had a lot in this little timeline to include. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

He was drifting in and out as the people around him were buzzing around him like worker bees at Med. It was only when Will stood directly in front of him, kneeling down to meet his eyes from the chair that Jay was reminded of where he was.

"_Jay_..." Will said tentatively. He touched his shoulder, but Jay swatted his hand away. "Jay!" Will said, louder than before, but he was still unfazed by his older brother's words.

His mind was like a kaleidoscope, a slideshow of memories projecting through his brain. Hailey was obviously the focal point of all of them. _The first day they met, the first time they said they'd be there for each other. The times she'd look over at him with a questioning stare, or grin at something he had said. Of course all the times they did their partner thing came into play. God, he'd miss all those things, but not much as just her as a person. The way her blonde hair shined in the light, or how her blue eyes twinkled when she had an idea, and her laugh - whether he said something funny or she saw something that was - her infectious laugh was something he'd always remember._

"Jay," he was brought out of his haze by a soft voice, one akin to Hailey's. When he looked up, he was met with brown eyes and brunette hair, which belonged to Kim.

"Jay, hey, Will and Connor want to talk to you about Hailey."

His head snapped up at the mention of her name. "What?"

"Go talk to your brother." She placed a hand on his arm, pulling him up. Jay stood up and walked the few feet where Will and Connor stood.

"What is it?" He asked, expecting the worst.

"She's not out of the woods yet. The wire cut through the same ankle that the chain got. Right through the bandage. Because of that her wound got infected."

Jay threw his hands up in disbelief, catching them in his hair.

"_But_," Will added, bringing Jay's hands down. "We're treating it. It should run its course in a day or two, okay? We'll be-"

He stopped, still seeing the utter fear in his brother's eyes. "I'll personally be her doctor on call. I'll even monitor her every hour, if that'll make you feel better." He said gently.

The fog around Jay lifted some, enabling him to hear clearly and see without cloudiness again.

"Can I see her?" He asked Will.

"Of course. Come on, Connor's just finishing her first round of antibiotics now."

They walked down the hall and into the treatment sector of the first floor, for more minor injuries and infections. He breathed a sigh of relief when Will pulled back the curtain and Hailey's bright smile appeared as she saw Jay.

"Hey partner." She cooed, still wearing a thousand watt smile.

"Hey Hails," he replied, immediately going over and taking her hand that wasn't getting the shots of medicine.

"She's all set for today." Connor announced, dropping Hailey's other hand, leaving the IV hookup. "We'll take the fluids out at the end of the day today," he added. Jay nodded, thanking him.

Will and Connor stepped out, letting them have a moment of privacy.

"Hey Hailey," Jay said, squeezing her hand.

"Hey Jay," she squeezed his hand right back. "I'm okay. **I. Am. Okay**." She repeated it to emphasis her point, but she knew the caring man next to her was going to stay night & day in this hospital until she was out.

"Hailey, I just-" his sentence was broken by a sob. "I thought I'd lost you forever. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you had given your life to save mine."

"Jay, you know me. You know that's what I'd do for you in a heartbeat. Which means you _also_ know how notorious I am for being stubborn. So you're not gonna try and convince me otherwise. I'd do it again, you know I would." Her features softened as she saw his watery eyes. "_But_ I know you only worry so much because you care. And I love that about you. So c'mere," she said, leaning forward to catch his lips in a sweet kiss.

"I just imagined the worst, Hailey. And I couldn't be more happy that you'll be okay. I just want you to be okay. That's all I've ever wanted." He kissed her cheek, and his hand followed, his thumb capturing a rogue tear that had fallen down.

"I love you," Hailey kissed his hand. What she didn't know was that small move brought back Jay's memories of that dungeon they were trapped in, _where that's all he could do for her- barely._ _All that pain, all those tears._ He shook his head, not wanting it to consume him. Not now. He wanted to be here _for_ Hailey, _with_ Hailey.

"Love you too, always." He whispered, kissing her cheek as she felt her eyes grow heavy.

She was out like a light a few seconds later, never letting go of his hand. Jay sighed, leaning back in his chair next to her bed.

_Hey_, he reminded himself, _all that pain did lead to something beautiful._ He looked over at his confirmation, watching her chest rise and fall in tandem with the beep of her monitor. He smiled, lacing his fingers into hers, and laid his head down at her side, on the edge of the bed.

He eventually fell asleep too, but for once, all his nightmares were actually dreams of Hailey, and instead of the past, he wishfully thought of their future.

* * *

Hailey was discharged from Med the next day, but not before she got her trauma checkup. Jay was with her, mostly because he never left her bedside, but also because Will had to look him over too.

"You guys are good to go, physically that is. Jay, your taser wounds are healed up nicely. And since we were able to take out your stitches with no more harm to your head, your skin is just left with the process of cell renewal, which it's well on its way to accomplishing. Hailey, you're technically cleared, but I'd feel better if you didn't get caught up in any more treacherous situations, at least until that new bandage comes off in a few days."

Jay nodded, looking from Hailey to Will. "Don't worry, I've got her back."

Hailey rolled her eyes at Jay to Will, who tried to stop a grin from forming. Jay shook her shoulder in mock frustration. "Okay, okay, let's go. Thanks buddy," he told Will, hugging his brother before they left the hospital.

"You promise you won't get into any trouble?" Jay asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh I'm _always_ trouble," Hailey teased, winking.

Now it was Jay's turn to roll his eyes. "**Hailey**..."

She sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder to look up at him. "Yes, I promise."

"Okay, well then let's go to work." He grabbed her hand and pulled her to the car, and she happily let him.

_You got this._ Her mind echoed an encouraging thought for once. Hailey smiled to herself. She hoped it would stick around.

* * *

The next few days at the 21st were fairly routine. After Hailey's twice brush with death, she actually listened to Will and stayed low, sort of. She'd still go out in the field, but she left the all out street chases or gun fights to the rest of her team. She still wasn't above a good shooting or takedown when necessary, but nothing that involved, you know, scaling walls or jumping from roofs anytime soon.

She did nearly have a heart attack when Jay took it upon himself to engage a knife wielding suspect while they were held at a personal getting lunch. The guy just ran into the deli where they were eating, screaming at the woman behind the counter for the money.

Jay and Hailey sprung into action, both coming from either side of the suspect, knowing he'd have to engage one of them eventually. He lunged for Jay, which left Hailey's breath in her throat. She thought she was gonna lose it, but her hands did not shake when she aimed her gun at the back of the robber's head.

She took a few deep breaths, and actually felt herself calming down. She repeated her mantra from a few days ago: _you got this. They got this._ And they did, as Jay was quicker on the draw than the suspect was, dodging his swipes artfully. With a couple of quick thinking moves, Jay forced the knife out of the guy's hand, and Hailey heard the horrible crack of his fingers. _Ouch, that'll hurt._

She was right, as the guy screamed in pain due to Jay's hold. Jay twisted his arm behind him, spinning the guy around so he could handcuff him. What he didn't count on was the guy bringing his elbow back, making contact with Jay's jaw.

"Aw, son of a bitch!" Jay spat, as he was jostled a bit by the sneak attack. Hailey was right there though, her foot kicking the man's back, sending him down to his knees.

"Not your smartest move." She grimaced as she finished fastening the cuffs to his rogue hand.

"You good?" She asked Jay.

He nodded, but still held his hand to the place the perp hit.

Hailey hauled the guy's ass to an awaiting patrol car. _He's their problem now_, she thought as she went back over to her partner.

"Lemme see," she said, not asking permission. Jay gave up, taking his hand away from his face.

He was right, nothing terrible. The guy must not have been a very good shot because he had missed Jay's lip entirely. Usually the nose or mouth got caught when the jaw was hit, which is where the blood actually comes from. But not this time. Just a narley bruise.

"Ice it at the house," she said, referring to their office and not her place of residence. He nodded in agreement, the two of them making their way back to the district.

* * *

"Jay, how'd the talk with Hailey go?" Dr. Barnes asked him, pen ready to take notes.

"I honestly thought it was going to be a total disaster, but it actually turned out better than I thought." He answered, a faint smile on his lips.

"Good, that's good. Now, I hear that Hailey was involved in another traumatic incident earlier this week. How'd you handle it?"

"I uh, I didn't handle it well." He saw the therapists concerned gaze and backtracked. "At first. I mean, I just thought she was going to..." he couldn't bring himself to say the word 'die' out loud. Too many people he cared about had died already.

"Jay, death is not a, how do I put this..." the doctor tapped her chin. "Death's not a bad word. Yes, it's a horrific and terrible thing that no one wants to go through or experience, but it is a part of life. Unfair as it is, as is life itself sometimes. But you must not let yourself dwell. You can't waste away space in your mind with the what-ifs. Let's try another exercise, would you be up for learning another one?"

"Sure." Jay leaned forward in his chair, as she had pulled out a piece of paper from her notebook, and handed him a pencil. "Thanks."

"Now, first: write down all the thoughts...as many as you can remember, that you had when Hailey was hurt."

His brows furrowed, but he did it anyway. She was gonna die, and it would be all my fault. Even if she did live, what if she hated me? What if she blamed me? I can't lose her. Too many people in my life have left already.

He scribbled all the negativity onto the page, ready to hand it to the doctor, when she shook her head. "Nope, not yet. Hold onto it while I explain the next part."

He nodded, clutching the paper in his hand.

"Now, this exercise is called 'explaining the facts.' Some people also call it 'finding evidence.'" She paused, smiling. "Hm, maybe you'd like that better." She acknowledged, knowing his career.

Jay allowed himself to smile back as she continued. "You are literally going to write the evidence 'for' and 'against' these thoughts. As in, what do you have that proves these right, and what do you have that proves them wrong?"

She nodded toward the paper that he held tightly in his fingers. He looked from her back down to the page, and thought about it for a little bit. He wrote down the pieces as they came to him, as if solving a case, only it was his own work.

EVIDENCE FOR:

•Pat

•Erin

•Nadia

•Al

EVIDENCE AGAINST:

•Hailey is alive and okay

•she does not hate me (the exact opposite, actually)

•she doesn't blame me, even told me not to blame myself

•she has been there with me through everything

He looked up, and found himself simultaneously feeling content and sad. He was sad for the people that were gone from his life; but he was glad to see all the ways his mind was being proven wrong. He handed the finished product over to Dr. Barnes.

The older woman looked it over, seemingly satisfied with his work, and handed it back. "That's good work, Jay. How did it feel writing that?"

Jay ran a hand over his face. "Not great, but also not the worst thing ever. I'm feeling both sad and content by it. Like there's been a lot of loss in my life, but I still have things - and people - in my life that can be constant if I let them in."

"And did the evidence help you to come to this conclusion?"

"Yeah, I guess it did. It was nice to have that reminder, that Hailey is in fact okay, and knowing that means I'll be okay too. That's all I've wanted is for her to be okay."

"And with this evidence, you have that reminder, like you said. Did you feel better after doing the exercise?"

"Somewhat. It did help me to realize that my thoughts really do effect me. I mean, I knew that before, but before..." he paused, realizing that it wasn't necessarily before the traumatic situation he had just endured, but before the person that helped him survive it. "Before _Hailey_, I mean, I solely thought of the negative. And now, at least rather recently, I've found myself thinking of the positives, moving forward, doing better, things like that."

"I'm happy to hear that Jay. It is Friday, and it is technically your last mandatory session with me. But, id still like you to fill out the end trauma assessment. Same questions for the most part; a few additional based on your course of treatment. Just rate how you feel now. This will help me see your progress."

Jay nodded, picking up a pen. Dr. Barnes handed him a sheet to fill out. _How would you rate your symptoms now, compared to when you started therapy? How effectively would you say you're managing your symptoms? Or have they become easier to deal with? If so, how? How would you rate your anxiety? Depression? Flashbacks? Nightmares (vivid, physical, etc.)?_

Jay filled in the blanks and circled the numbers accordingly. _5, managing with support, somewhat easier, yes. Reassurance, and this evidence exercise has added mental clarity. Anxiety: 5, depression: 0, Flashbacks: 3, nightmares: vivid, 1._

Dr. Barnes stepped out and evaluated his sheet. She came back in a few minutes with her recommendation. "I'm happy to say your symptoms have improved drastically. So much so I'm recommending you to return to regulated duty, and we can stop our sessions; but, only on the contention that you come back if you feel your ptsd has worsened."

Jay knew how important it was to listen to the doctors instructions. The last time, he thought he could handle it. And obviously, he couldn't. So he told Dr. Barnes he promises to do just that.

"Dr. Barnes, I'll even sign a waiver if that's what it takes." He said, only seriousness found in his voice.

Funny enough, that is what she had him do. He signed on the dotted line, and felt a strange sense of comfort in it. He had a safety net to use if he really needed it. But he knew that with Hailey – who let's be honest, was his real savior – he'd make it out alive. Hell, he'd thrive with her by his side.

* * *

"Hi Hailey, how are you this morning?"

Hailey groaned, not in the mood for this right now. "I'm here." She shrugged.

Dr. Barnes eyed her, like she could tell she was hiding something. "Hailey, I know about the accident at the factory site. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But we can at least talk about something today. You just decide what it is."

Hailey raked her hair back into a ponytail as she tried to decide on a subject. "I mean, it's our final session, right? I haven't come this far to only come this far, you know what I mean? I know it'll be hard, but I think I can do it. I mean, what's the other option? Not talk about it and let it build up? I definitely don't want to go through that again. I guess I need some more ideas on how to deal with things in the moment….like that grounding exercise helped a lot, but I couldn't use it in the moment. Although, I did have success yesterday with the deep breathing. It relaxed my muscles enough to where I wasn't shaky, which allowed me to properly apprehend a suspect, and not get triggered."

Dr. Barnes' eyebrows rose, and she congratulated Hailey on that "win." She scribbled down a couple more notes, before asking Hailey how her medicine is going.

"Good, I've been taking it when I need it. Lately that's been every few days. I took half yesterday morning, and was planning to take the other half after shift, but I felt like I didn't need it, so that was actually kind of nice."

"Good, that is progress definitely. So, you said you wanted more techniques for in the moment crises. Let me give you a couple things," she reached into her filing cabinet behind her and pulled out two sheets of paper. Hailey read the tops of them as she was handed them. COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS AND HOW TO COMBAT THEM. And THE TIP SKILL, FOR EXTREME EMOTIONAL OR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS.

Hailey scanned each one, then looked to the therapist for some clarification. "Can we start with the TIP skill? I've never even heard of such a thing before. I'm not even sure I know what….._progressive muscle relaxation_ is."

"TIP is an acronym, it stands for **T**emperature change, **I**ntense exercise, and **P**rogressive Muscle Relaxation, like you said. The temperature change means using things that will actually change your body's chemistry. Most people use colder things to cool them down, as they find that intense emotions can make them angered, or frustrated, or other things that speed up heart rate, spike mood levels, etcetera. An example would be holding ice cubes, or a super cold drink in your hands. This will literally shock your system, and in turn your mind, back into the present moment. So that whatever you were thinking about, you're sole focus is now the ice, or cold drink in your hands. The intense exercise can be anything, from running to jumping jacks. As long as it gets your heart rate up and keeps you focused on the movement. And here," Dr. Barnes handed Hailey another sheet. "Here's all about progressive muscle relaxation. It's essentially like a meditation, but for your whole body."

Hailey looked at it, and she actually seemed to understand it. "Oh, so it's kind of like, an intense deep breathing, just using your body more?"

Dr. Barnes nodded. "In a sense, yes. Now, as far as the cognitive distortions, well, you know we talked about one of those very early on. Actually, in your first session, so it's quite ideal that we've come full circle. Now, what I'd for you to do is think about how you process things. And then identify which distortions you think you use most often. Then tell me about them."

Hailey nodded, grabbing a pen and putting stars next to the ones she used frequently. "The black and white…I mean, that kind of comes with our job. Right and wrong, left or right, you get the idea. But yeah, I mean, I suppose I try to act like I have it all together, even when I don't. Oh, the personalization – the blame one. I have done that, especially with all this recently. Course, now Jay's blaming himself for what happened to me, which is simply not true!" She said, scoffing.

"Now see, Hailey, notice that. That right there. What you just did. You analyzed a situation, and you were able to identify that Jay used that distortion. Now, why is it untrue? Talk to me about how you came to that conclusion."

Hailey ran a hand through her hair, sighing slightly, but pressed on regardless. "With the wires….I was the one who pushed him out of the way. Neither of us could have known that wire would unravel. That's not on him. None of that is his fault. It was that jackasses' fault who pushed the copper barrel off the second floor."

"Now Hailey, if you can offer that insight into Jay's problem, how come you can't give yourself the same grace?"

Hailey felt herself get teary. "I guess, I guess it's like I said earlier. I hold myself to such a high standard. I hate feeling weak, or unsure. I hate being…wrong."

"Hailey, you're _human_. It's alright to make mistakes. You need to forgive yourself."

"How can I do that? That seems impossible." She said, slightly exasperated.

"**Two words: radical acceptance**."

Hailey looked at her like she had three heads. "Hm?"

"It's a term psychologists use about accepting things we can't change. But it also ties into forgiveness. Because in order to get to acceptance, we have to be able to forgive ourselves too."

"So, let me ask you this: do you forgive yourself for what happened with Jay?"

"Yes."

"Then practice saying that to yourself. Practice saying to yourself what you would say to Jay, or to any other person in your life."

Hailey took a breath, before saying a monologue out loud. "This terrible situation happened. And you survived it. That's what you should focus on. You cannot change that these people took you, or that they hurt you, but you can change how you live with it. You did not deserve this. Your partner did not deserve it. You cannot keep beating yourself up for this. I mean, it's okay that you feel however you feel, but I don't want you to feel guilty over something that is not on you. You're a good person, you deserve good things. You have good things. You fought through this and you'll keep fighting. You're strong, you got this. We got this."

Dr. Barnes sat stoic for a second, before animating back to life. "Hailey, wow. That was simply wonderful. You actually practiced radical acceptance within that statement. You can't change what happened, but you can accept that you have a choice to move forward. That's very good, very good work indeed."

Hailey smiled back at the therapist. "Oh, gosh, thanks. I've been mulling over thoughts like that for a while now…I just never vocalized it before. But that felt good, that brought me a lot of peace."

"I'm glad to hear it, Hailey. I really am. You've come a long way in a short amount of time." Dr. Barnes reached for another sheet of paper. FINAL TRAUMA ASSESSMENT. "Just fill this out, and I'll evaluate it when you're done. Just about all the same questions, plus a few that line up with your treatment plans."

Hailey went to work, circling numbers and filling in blanks. She handed the page back to the doctor, who stepped out to look at it.

"Hailey, you've improved quite a lot over these last few weeks. Your numbers in your anxiety have gone down, and your depression is barely registered, at a 1. I know most of that is due to the negative thought patterns, but hopefully you can identify those distortions and combat them with some self-talk on that worksheet. Write some nice things down if you have to. Do whatever it takes until you believe in the words you say to yourself. What you tell yourself matters just as much as what you tell others. You know that old saying, treat others the way you want to be treated? I like to think if it as: talk to yourself the same as you talk to others. Now, with the flashbacks, I noticed they are still a little more frequent than I expected. How have you been dealing with those?"

"Jay's actually been a huge help. He's been able to calm me down, talk me through things. But I mean, it's not like I'm relying solely on him. I actually woke up from a flashback….or I guess since I was just falling asleep, it might have been a nightmare – but anyhow," she paused, taking a breath. "I journaled about it, I just wrote everything down. And it helped a lot. So I think I'm gonna keep that notebook by my bed in case I need it and I'm alone. Plus, I know I can call my friends or my family, and they can at least talk to me to kind of take my mind off things a little."

Dr. Barnes marked her sheet. "I'm adding those down in your notes as 'further coping skills.' This is good Hailey, I am hearing tangible progress, which does not make me hesitate as much as I thought earlier. I'd still like you to keep track of those flashbacks though, alright? Tally them, date them, do whatever you want to keep a record of them. If they are happening every night, or every day, then you'll need to come see me right away. But if they are only a few times a week, I have faith that you have some proper tools to deal with them. And if you need more, you know where to find me."

Hailey nodded, thanking the older woman. She signed her name on the waiver that dictated her plan upon release from mandatory counseling, and was on her way back upstairs to Intelligence.

* * *

She caught Jay's eyes as she went up the stairs. He met up with her in the break room. "Hey," he said, walking in slowly to stand by her. "How was it?"

Hailey turned her back to the sink counter, holding herself up with her hands. "Good. Real good. You?"

Jay mimicked her motion, looking back at her as he spoke. "Yeah, signed my release and I'm all clear. Barnes cleared you too I assume?"

Hailey nodded. "Yep. Now we can be normal again."

Jay chuckled. "Hailey, when have we _ever_ been normal?"

Hailey shoved his shoulder playfully. "Psh, oh please Halstead. When we were normal, we had our pizza and beer nights, we had our CPD hangouts at Molly's…" Hailey drifted off, glancing at the floor.

Jay leaned into her, pulling her face up to look at him. "Hey, we still have all that. But you know what _else_ we have now?"

Hailey had a knowing gleam in her eye, but she played dumb. "What's that?"

Jay wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him. "**This**." He kissed her, one of those emotionally charged, semi intense ones that weren't usually done at work, but for them in this moment, that didn't matter.

Hailey smiled. "Yeah, I guess we got 'us' didn't we?"

Jay shook his head, kissing her forehead. "Always, Hailey. Always."

Hailey pressed herself against his chest, going in for a hug. "Love you." She whispered.

Jay hugged her right back. "Love you too, Hailey. Love you too."


	20. This is Us

**Starting A/N: This is the only chapter that's on the risqué side of things - I'd say it veers off towards M, but nowhere near graphic or in physical terminology... I focused more on nuanced descriptions, I guess, if you had to label it. Also, it is officially the longest chapter ever - 6K words, so without further ado, dive in! **

* * *

"You know, after all these times of sleeping together, people may actually start to think we're _sleeping_ together." Jay said, eyebrows rising up.

Hailey gave him her signature eye roll from her place beside him on his couch. They had in fact, fallen asleep together on his couch after having pizza and beer. _Well_, she thought, _wouldn't be the first time_.

Even though a lot had happened between them (okay, that was an understatement) - she wasn't sure if she was actually ready to take _that_ step in their relationship. _Look at what happened last time,_ her mind scolded. Hailey fought back with: _but I love him, and he'd never hurt me._ _Besides_, she daydreamed, as she watched him get up to make coffee. _Have you seen him?! You'd be crazier not to. _

She giggled, which of course made Jay look over at her. She didn't even realize she'd been staring at him until he asked her, "What? Is my hair like, sticking up in all different directions or something?"

Hailey quickly shook her head no, subconsciously touching her cheeks to check if she was blushing. She really needed to get it together. They were finally getting back to normal, she didn't want an impulsive decision to mess it up.

"Is it okay if I grab a shower real quick?" she asked as she folded the blanket.

"Yeah, sure. Down the hall's the bathroom." He said, pouring the coffee grounds into a filter.

"Save some for me!" She warned, peaking around the corner at him, before disappearing into the bathroom.

She heard him reply with an "okay" as she closed the door, turning on the shower.

* * *

Jay groaned in frustration as he waited for the coffee to brew. He leaned against the counter, allowing his mind to process things from last few days. _They handled that robbery situation rather well_, he thought to himself. And they've really grown closer than he could have ever thought. _Emotionally_, he reminded himself.

Not that he didn't want that physical connection with her too, but he didn't want to rush it. He wanted her to be ready just as much as he was. Course, hearing the shower turn on wasn't helping things. He was trying so hard _not _to picture his partner in that very scenario, but then again, he'd seen her in practically every other way over the last couple months. _Okay that's not helping either_, he chided as his mind proceeded to conjure up the steamier moments between the two of them. _Yeah, okay, maybe a cold shower_, he decided as he heard the water turn off. He couldn't deny she was drop dead gorgeous, but he also knew she was more than that. _She was so much more than that. Always has been. _

So, despite all the things he took with him as he headed down the hall to trade her places, that last thought was the one constant running through his mind.

* * *

Hailey had come back out from the shower, slipped into her jeans and bra before she realized that if she wore the exact same clothes into work as yesterday, **and** was with Jay, then people would definitely talk. _Shit_.

"Hey Jay?" She called to him from the hallway. "Can I, um, borrow a shirt? I didn't bring anything."

His voice sounded closer than she would've guessed. She assumed he had come down the hall, ready to shower himself when she made the awkward request.

"Yeah sure, lemme grab one from my room. Be back in a second." He said from the other side of the door. She heard the clear sounds of drawers opening and closing, meaning he was searching for something.

She was about to just slip on her gray shirt from last night when a white one was held out in his hand. Hailey was so glad the door was only opened a tiny bit. _No way he could get a glimpse of anything._ Not that she wouldn't have completely objected. Nevertheless, she reasoned, they needed to get to work.

She realized it had been a few seconds, and he was still dangling the shirt over the threshold of his bathroom. Oops. Hailey grabbed it, thanking him. She slipped it on, noticing that it didn't look that much different from one that she would wear. Course how many styles of white crew neck tee shirts are there? She rolled her eyes at her ridiculous thought. _No one would notice, so quit worrying_, she told herself.

* * *

She slid the door the rest of the way open, letting him slip past her. She was weaving her damp hair into a braid when she heard him start on his shower. Her mind was instantly transported to the very place she _didn't_ want it, but she couldn't help it. It was still on her mind. She tried to distract herself with caffeine, noticing that Jay had set aside a cup for her. How nice of him. She poured herself a cup, wondering if he had any half and half. She opened his fridge, noticing a small thing of creamer. Close enough. She added a little bit, letting the white swirl around the black, making a caramel color.

She sipped on the hot liquid, letting the slight burn as it went down her throat shock her system out of her in-the-gutter thoughts about her partner. She was fine until she realized that in her rush to get out of the bathroom, she had left her gray shirt folded up on the floor, which wasn't as important as her phone that sat on top of it.

She smacked a hand over her face in aggravation at her own stupidity. Could she do anything right today? She still heard the water going, so she figured she could slip in and slip out before he even got out. Here goes nothing.

He had left the door cracked open, probably to let out the steam. She peeked in and could see her phone and tee shirt sitting in the same place she left it. _Okay, one, two, three_. She ran in, grabbed her phone and balled up her tee in her other hand. She was so focused on not getting caught that the shower shutting off didn't register in her brain.

She only turned her head at the sound of the curtain opening. There she stood, frozen in place, as she watched Jay's hand reach around for his towel. He grabbed it, and seconds before Hailey made her move to leave, was already out of the shower. His towel was loosely wrapped around his waist, but that didn't help Hailey's predicament, as all she could do was stare. She caught his eyes for a moment before she, embarrassed as ever, told him that she just needed her phone.

Hailey couldn't help but notice he too looked a little bewildered by the situation. Course, if the situation had been reversed, she would be too. She realized she was still standing in place, gawking. Jay smirked when he noticed this.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He said, walking slowly towards her, and Hailey looked at him quizzically.

"What're you-" she stopped speaking when she felt him come behind her. She quickly glanced in the mirror, noticing he was just trying to go around her, but she also knew he wasn't above messing with her in a flirty way.

His hair was still wet from the shower, and when a couple drops of water fell onto Hailey's shoulder, she felt her breath catch in her throat. She skirted her eyes over to him as he finished passing her, slower than she'd ever seen someone do that seemingly normal, everyday maneuver. Course most people naked under a towel, or already skating on thin ice when it came to practically jumping each other at any moment.

She had fisted her shirt in her hands, creating wrinkles in the fabric. She couldn't have cared less, because the only thing going through her mind right now was how she should stop herself from losing all her inhibitions. She sighed, her mind being taken back to the real world by the sound of her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hailey, it's Kim. Voight's wondering where you and Jay are. Have you spoken to him this morning?"

She heard his bedroom door open, and he came out dressed in his usual jeans and dark shirt that made his green eyes look extraordinary. _Quit it, Hailey!_ She chastised herself.

"**Hellooooo, Hailey**?"

"Hm? Oh, right sorry Kim. Yeah, I'm actually picking him up right now. We'll be in in 10."

"Okay, cool. See you soon."

Hailey hung up the phone to find Jay grinning at her. "You suck at lying," he said, the mischievous looking smile still on his lips.

Hailey tossed his jacket to him. "Psh, whatever. Can I _please_ just drive you so Burgess won't be suspicious?" She pouted, knowing if she did that he'd always give in.

"Fine," he replied, taking the chance to toss her car keys in her direction. Hailey caught them, slipped her shoes on, and the two of them were out the door, ready to face the day...as if nothing happened. _Yeah, sure_.

* * *

"Upton, Halstead, my office." Voight grumbled as the two detectives arrived at Intelligence.

Hailey and Jay exchanged glances, hoping they weren't going to get reprimanded for being a few minutes late. _It was all Jay's fault anyways_, Hailey rationalized. _He and his stupid abs. Not to mention the _other_ part of him she felt this morning when he snuck past her. Damn him. _

They took their seats, waiting for Voight to fill them in on why they were summoned. "I just saw Dr. Barnes," he stated.

Both Jay and Hailey relaxed a little in their seats. Phew, okay. "And she gave me an update. Looks like you two are back on regular duty as of today. Glad to have you guys 100% again." He nodded, meaning '_okay I'm done now, leave_' to which Jay and Hailey obliged.

Voight didn't miss the high five they gave each other as they walked out of his office. The sergeant shook his head. Sometimes he felt like he was wrangling teenagers rather than cops. Family's family though, he reminded himself. And this unit was the best one there was.

Hailey and Jay had just gotten settled back into their desks when Kevin jumped up from his desk. "Knife wielder on the L, we gotta go."

Intelligence headed out to the train station, quickly finding the source of the chaos. A fight had broken out between two passengers, one of which had a hunting knife on him. You can guess what happened to the other subway goer.

Jay and Hailey tended to the wounded man while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Kevin and Adam ran point, engaging with the suspect. Voight had them come in from either side, as to intimidate the knifer. The guy did get nervous, but instead of heading for either of them, he made a dead sprint toward Hailey and Jay, who were still focused on the injured person in their care.

"Hailey! Jay!" Kevin called.  
"Guys!" Adam yelled.

Both phrases made them look up, only seconds away from being attacked. They immediately got in front of the suspect, giving each other a nod at what they had to do. Jay held a taser in his hand; Hailey's held her gun.

The guy lunged at them, but Jay ducked underneath him and got him in the stomach with the taser. He tried again, which left Hailey with the only option both could live with. A non-fatal shot was fired, giving the guy a bullet in his arm, effectively bringing him down in pain.

Voight came charging in, as did Adam and Kevin. Kim and Antonio followed. Once they were sure the suspect was down, he was handcuffed and taken away. The ambulance arrived at the same time to take their injured passenger to Chicago Med. Foster said not to worry, that he'd make it, since the knife didn't hit major organs or arteries.

Everyone took a breather after that one, given that the suspect seemed more deranged than anyone would've guessed. Voight said for everyone to reconvene at the house, so they split up and drove back.

Hailey sat in the police car next to Jay, who hadn't put the key in yet. She tapped his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

Jay shook his head. "Yeah, you know, I actually think I am. Thanks for having my back out there today." He replied.

"Of course. I mean, I'm not glad a knife wielding maniac came at us today, but I'm glad we're back in sync...communicating and everything we need for the job, you know? I felt like everything worked just how it was supposed to." She looked over at him, her brows knitting together. "Does that make any sense?"

Jay glanced at her before finally starting up the car. "Yeah." He took her hand in his. "Yeah it does."

They caught each other's eyes again, meeting with a knowing look that the two of them were used to. They were on the right track. They were actually getting to the other side of things.

* * *

Back at the district, Intelligence became buried under paperwork from not just that knife incident, but also the robbery, and the copper wire debacle.

It was at the point where everyone was going a little stir crazy. I mean, there were a plethora of things they all could be doing on a late Saturday afternoon. Catching the Cubs' last inning; taking a walk around Humboldt Park; seeing their friends or family...anything really. But no. No, instead here they all were, knee deep in memos, forensic reports, and signatures.

Kevin and Adam had made paper airplanes out of their drafts and were tossing them across each other's desks, much to Kim and Antonio's amusement.

Meanwhile, Jay kept tapping on the corner of Hailey's desk, trying to stop her from falling asleep on top of her stack of memos. She'd always mumble a "Hm? Yeah, yeah, I'm up, I'm up" which only made Jay laugh.

Once they reached their third hour, Kim and Antonio offered to spring for Chicago's Crimson Coffee, which was just a few blocks down from the district.

Kevin and Adam put in their orders right away: straight black coffee, no frills, no fuss (Adam's words, Kevin insisted). Antonio and Kim made sure to add their orders onto the list (Kim, a mocha latte, Antonio, an Americano). Antonio was even brave enough to knock on Voight's door and ask if he wanted anything. He got a grunt in reply, which he took as a hard pass.

Trudy had just come up the stairs to talk to Voight, at which time Kim snapped up her order too.

Their millisecond conversation went like this:

_"Burgess, what the hell do you think I am, a pop tart? Don't put me down for any of that Frappuccino crap; I want a cold brew. Got it?" Kim nodded, scribbling like the wind, adding in exclamation marks to remind her not to ask Platt anything ever again. _

Kim and Antonio had made it around to Jay and Hailey last, but certainly not least. Jay put in a black coffee for himself, and Antonio looked to Hailey for her answer. He quickly turned to Kim, who turned to Jay, as if to say, 'look over here, and help.'

Jay looked across from him to find that Hailey was indeed, asleep on her paperwork. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek to keep from busting out laughing.

He motioned for Kim to come over to his desk. He whispered Hailey's order, not wanting to wake her by talking too loud. Unbeknownst to him though, Hailey may not have had her eyes open, but she was able to hear everything he said.

"Kim, get her a black coffee, but make sure they put half and half in it. Like the real stuff, not the fake Stevia stuff. The white one- or whatever the plain cream is." He added.

"Got it, thanks." Kim softly said, as she and Antonio jetted off to CCC to pick up everyone's drinks.

Before Jay turned back around to face her desk, Hailey smiled at his words. She'd only made coffee that one time at his house. No way he'd know that, unless he'd been paying _that much _attention to her. It wasn't something major, but it was something important. Important in the fact that he cared enough to remember the little things. He didn't take her for granted, not one bit.

And that's when she knew: whatever happened between them, she wanted it. All of it, with him. Whatever that looked like, be it a lake house like her parents owned, or a busy little apartment like he already had. Whether they didn't have any kids, or 2 running around their house. Same job, of course, no question of that, but that wasn't the point. The point was that for the first time, Hailey allowed herself to want that. To want a happy future for herself. And for once, she actually thought it would happen, because she found the one person that cared about her that much. Someone that loved her just as much as she loved him.

Jay must have finally turned around to face her, because she heard him tap his pen against her desk. She pretended to still be asleep, just to see what else he'd come up with. She felt him stretch out, his foot tapping hers.

She couldn't help but smile again, and when she opened her eyes, Jay gave her that look of 'nice try.' She just beamed at him, and when she saw him smile brightly back at her, she felt her heart beat faster in her chest. The butterflies came back in her stomach, and she felt much like she had earlier in the day. But she also had a newfound determination to do something about it. Regardless of how or what happened, she was going to make tonight a night he'd never forget.

* * *

Jay stood in front of Hailey's apartment, still very confused by her text message. All it said was: Dress nice, and bring beer, but also bring ice cream. The only idiotic thing that popped into his mind was that she meant root beer, and that she wanted to make floats or something; but that still didn't make sense to him. He knocked on her door, fiddling with his tie. He had decided on a classic suit, black jacket and pants, with a white button down, but at the last second added the forest green tie into the mix.

"Come in!" He heard Hailey call from inside. He thought it was odd for her not to come greet him at the door, but he brushed it off. She probably got caught up and usually wouldn't mind if he came in and sat. So, when he opened the door to her apartment, that's what he fully expected to do.

But upon entering, he found himself in dim lighting, and as he walked down the hall, stepped up the half step to where her living room and kitchen sat, Hailey wasn't there.

"Hailey?" Jay called out into the space. "Where are you?"

"Coming," she said. "Just give me one second."

"Okay," he drew out the word, as he took in the candles she had lit in her living room, and the vase of roses on her kitchen counter. He still didn't quite understand what she was up to, but when he heard her heels click against the floor and turned around, he had a better idea.

Hailey let out a light laugh at his priceless expression. She watched as his eyes were about ready to bulge out of his head, course she knew that by the time she was done with her little experiment, that wouldn't be the only thing.

"Hey babe," she said, hoping her test drive of that word sounded sultry and not silly.

"Oh, so we're doing that now. Okay then _babe_." Jay retorted, emphasizing the new term. He still really only saw her figure illuminated in some kind of ridiculously hot outfit, but he didn't get to take in the color until she came around the corner to where he stood by her bar top.

"Yeah, well..." Hailey began, practically purring as she said each word. "We're gonna try a lot of new things tonight."

She sauntered over to him, ravishing in the fact that his eyes scoured over every inch of her body in the fiery red bandage dress she wore. She told herself to thank Kim for reminding her of its existence as she got ready for tonight, metallic heels and all. She had also done up her hair and makeup a little more tonight, going for a hazy effect around her eyes with some coppers and black liner; her hair was tousled in messy waves- the ones that you could only get by actually using a curling iron, ironically. She debated earlier about going for a red lip or not, but then she remembered how much Jay seemed to like her Strawberry Chapstick, so she applied the lip balm generously.

On her walk over to him, Hailey took in Jay's appearance too. She loved that he never looked overdone. He made anything look like he was supposed to be wearing it. Something about this specific suit though was really captivating tonight. She couldn't quite put her finger on it until she got closer to him. _Ah ha_, she thought to herself, _the tie._

"Woah, Hailey, you look, God you look incredible. And did I mention sexy as hell? Because if not, let me say again: **Sexy**," he paused, pulling her to him, his lips immediately latching onto hers. "**As**," his tongue already tracing her bottom lip. "**Hell**." He smiled victoriously as she let out a little gasp, which allowed him to battle her for dominance.

"Mmm, mhmm," she hummed against his lips, making him let out a surprised sound when she grabbed his tie, pulling on it lightly before turning around. She may have been facing away from him now, but she knew what was doing.

While he may have taken advantage of her neck and collarbones being exposed, she won the round when she worked her hips against his, leaning back as he continued to explore.

She knew she felt his reaction to all of her being on him now, but she _heard_ it when he groaned, murmuring "fuck" under his breath.

"You know I always think you look hot," her voice getting breathier by the moment. "But there's something about this tie," she said pulling on it a little more, bringing him down to meet her lips again. She spun back around, never breaking the kiss, but as his eyes locked onto hers, she realized why she liked it so much. Because it brought out his eyes. She never knew green eyes could be so mesmerizing until she met him.

She had gotten a little caught up in the moment, still lingering in his gaze. He spoke up instead, making her ears perk up at the softer volume of his voice. "God you're beautiful."

He had one hand on her jaw, the other wrapped around her back. Hers were still stuck on his tie. She softly smiled at him, putting the tie down. "And you're sweet." She glanced down quickly as she realized this was the perfect Segway into part 2 of her plan.

"Speaking of which, come with me," she said, pulling him along, at first playfully by his tie, but then seriously the rest of the way with his hand.

She picked up the ice cream with her other hand, glad he bought vanilla. She saw out of her peripherals that Jay was a little perplexed as to why she was taking the ice cream with her. Oh man was he in for a treat - pun totally intended.

"Dessert before dinner tonight. Trust me, you'll love it." She promised, a daring smirk taking over her expression. He looked intrigued, but still not totally caught up, so Hailey went ahead and opened the door to her bedroom, where everything was laid out in a way that hopefully solved the puzzle for him.

She had just set down the ice cream when Jay pushed her against her wall, adrenaline and hormones taking the driver's seat for him.

"Jay," Hailey breathed in between his heated kisses. "The stuff-" she tried, but he shut her right up with another kiss.

"Oh, don't worry, we'll use it." He said, hastily running his hands over her. She automatically leaned into his touch, biting her lip as he made his way down her neck and collarbone.

"Mmm, okay, maybe," she tried to keep from moaning, but she couldn't resist when he pressed up against her. "Fuck!" She hissed, already feeling overwhelmed with her own mix of emotions. "Maybe that can wait..." she offered, praying he didn't stop what he was doing to her. Who knew you could do all that with just your lips?

Jay snuck his hand around her back, searching for the zipper to Hailey's dress.

"Uh uh, no fair. If I'm stripping down, so are you." She said, her voice low and breathy again.

She pawed at his tie, to which he used his free hand to help her unwind it. She then went to work on his shirt, practically ripping it off his body. Jay couldn't have cared less about a piece of clothing in his life.

"Better," she breathed, reaching for his belt. "But not good enough." She cocked her brow at him as she dragged his zipper down.

"Oh, you asked for it Upton," he said, finally getting her dress off. She slinked out of it, letting it fall to the floor before pushing Jay over to the empty chair in the corner of her room.

"No," she challenged him as he landed in the chair. "But you will be, _Halstead_." She winked, before grabbing a few of the items she had planned to use tonight. As she walked over to the little table where everything was, Jay finally let his eyes fall on her lingerie, which was a rich burgundy with black lace trim. _Oh lord, this woman was going to kill him. _And when she walked back over to him with the ice cream, he thought for sure he'd lose his mind.

"Do I even _want_ to know?" He asked suggestively.  
"Yeah, ya do." Hailey teased, as she grabbed a little bit of ice cream.  
"But first," she paused, eyeing his still clothed lower half.  
Jay raised his eyebrow at her. "You just don't quit, do you?"  
"Oh, trust me babe, you'll be glad I'm not the type to give up."

Jay shook his head, but still did as her eyes requested. Even though it was the second time Hailey had seen him like this, it somehow felt different this time. Maybe because they were actually doing this, for real.

He expected her to come closer to him, but instead she took a little bit of the ice cream for herself, making sure she slid her finger out of her mouth with an audible 'pop.' _Oh, so she was teasing him, okay. He could work with that. _

Jay took a risk and got up from the chair, getting a bit of the whipped cream. Before Hailey could stop him, he landed some on her nose, her lips and neck. He gladly got it off of her though, and she did little if object at all.

"God Jay," her legs felt like jello, like she would collapse any minute. He must have sensed this, because he carried her back over to her bed, making sure to bring a few items with him.

"I'm more of a chocolate guy myself," he quipped, before making the rest of Hailey his own personal sundae.

"Oh my gosh!" She laughed at his wit, but came undone at his skills.

He seemed to always know what buttons to push_...or kiss, or lick, for that matter. _

She _thought_ she was in trouble when he made it to her navel, almost out of chocolate. It was only when she was writhing underneath him - as he dipped lower, improvising with whipped cream - that she knew she was a goner. Hailey had never been more satisfied with a plan in her life.

Course, it was even more fun when she made Jay unravel, seeing as he was so tightly wound before. Let's just say, that last thing he could remember involved Hailey dropping low, and a bit of the ice cream going with her. Yeah, if climax was a crime, she murdered him for sure.

And as for the beer? They rehydrated between rounds. Dessert was served at least 3 times that night. Maybe 4, but Hailey lost count. And Jay was too wrapped up in her to care. Talk about a sweet night.

* * *

"Jay," Hailey said, running her hand along his chest. "Jayyyy," she whined slightly. Her stomach was growling, but she didn't wanna just leave him for food. He was too cute when he was asleep. She traced each one of his abs, wondering if the dancing motions her fingers made against his skin would jar him. At least this time he wasn't faking it. She could tell by the way his chest rose and fell with each breath.

A bold move at best, she slid closer to him, letting her hands travel further, whispering all sorts of things in his ear. _Yeah, of course that woke him up. He's such a guy sometimes. _

Hailey laughed out loud as Jay grabbed her hands from under the covers. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?" He dryly accused.

She pouted. "Fine. But, since this is _my _house, _I'm_ going to grab a shower. So, I'll just leave you to it..." she sighed, walking ever so slowly towards her bathroom.

Jay was up in a second, taking that time to admire how hot Hailey looked in his dress shirt. "So I changed my mind," he shrugged before grabbing at her waist.

Hailey threw her head back in more laughter as he raced her to the shower. Safe to say they were fashionably late to work that morning.

* * *

The subsequent days went much like this: the two of them tangled in the sheets at night while they fought crime on the streets during the day.

Everyone's knowledge of something going on between them was obviously confirmed, but the first person to catch that they were actually sleeping together? **Adam**, of all the people in Hailey's world.

"Uh, Hailey?" He had asked her yesterday in the locker room.

"Yeah?" She replied, looking at him through her small mirror that hung on her door. They were changing out of their undercover clothes and back into their regular garb when he posed the question.

"Isn't that Jay's flannel?"

_Oh for fucks sake_, Hailey thought, smacking her hand over her face as the incriminating item hung in her locker. She glanced at Adam through her mirror, not even bothering to turn around. She just nodded.

"Ohhhhh!" He rallied, throwing his hands up in some odd kind of excitement. Weird, course Ruzek was a complete fool sometimes, so Hailey dismissed it.

She only laughed when he took off running down the hallway back to the bullpen, yelling: "Ay, Kev! You owe me $50 bucks!"

* * *

Over the past week, Jay and Hailey had put away 4 hardened criminals; but they'd also been out on four dates. One to the movies, two at different restaurants, and of course, because Jay was a 12-year-old at heart, a mini golf course.

Hailey thought he couldn't get much cuter, but seeing him get so excited at landing a hole in one proved her wrong.

Course, Jay about fell out of his chair when Hailey ran her hand over him under their dinner table at Gibson's Steakhouse. He never knew how flexible she could be until the only option they had for a release was his truck. _Oh well, desperate times, right? _

But ultimately, the two of them were most content sitting at home with food or drinks, simply being together. Whether they watched a movie, or laid in each other's arms and talked for hours, they both discovered minuscule things that made them fall in love with each other even more. Like the way Jay couldn't actually watch golf on TV, because it only made him want to run to the nearest green and tee off. Or how Hailey hated tomatoes in salad, on a burger, or anywhere, but would load her French fries up with ketchup at any time.

Jay had memorized her address, as she did his. Hailey knew which side of the bed he slept on (always the left), and he knew which one of his old tee shirts was her favorite. She remembered his favorite food (hello, pasta!), and he knew not to ever mention the word moist or she'd smack him upside the head (she despised it for whatever reason).

Hailey picked up on what color Jay liked best on her, but she also made mental notes of his best looks too. Jay always told Hailey how lovely, or pretty, or drop dead gorgeous she looked, but what she _really_ loved about it was that he never used the same word twice. Well, except for sexy- but what girl would tire of hearing that?

She knew exactly what to do to make him crazy for her whenever the mood struck, but he also knew just how to get under her skin. It's like they were at a different level of in sync with each other. There were all these layers that the other wanted to expose, or know more about. Besides being a hell of a lot of fun, doing all these things actually brought them closer.

So after they had gotten back from a long day at work, and both mercilessly teased out the other's desires, Jay's mind actually went to something way tamer by contrast. Because as Hailey slipped into his old academy t-shirt and went over to kiss his cheek, he realized that this part was the only thing he didn't like about their current arrangement: the after, when she'd leave his house after an evening, or when he'd have to sneak out of her place as the dawn broke.

The words came tumbling out before he could stop them. "Move in with me," he said, more like a fact and less like a question.

Hailey paused, her lips parting slightly. She took his hand and jumped onto his side of the bed, sitting up to face him.

"Seriously?" For once when she looked at him, she knew her eyes weren't projecting that self-assured attitude he liked so much. Because even though it was only a few weeks ago that she allowed herself to admit her dreams; the fact that it was actually a possibility scared the hell out of her. All the what-ifs bombarded her mind as she struggled to find the right response.

"Jay, I'd love to, but I mean... you're sure? It's a big step," she immediately bit her tongue, regretting her fear.

He looked at her, and pulled her closer to him so that they were mere centimeters apart. He took that same hand and placed it over his heart, much like he did that day in the hospital. He knew she knew what that meant.

Hailey felt tears spring into her vision, but she knew they were happy ones. She knew he'd always be there for her if there was ever a time that they weren't. He'd proven that, and so much more to her over this past few months.

She knew it might've been moving fast, but she also knew that she never felt safer than she was with him. She may have started out rescuing him, but he certainly helped save her. He brought her the one thing she wanted most: a sense of peace, a sense of brightness, a sense of **home**.

And when she accepted his offer, Jay's smile never left his lips. He knew why though: because she was the only person that accepted all of it - the good and the bad, and god knows they'd survived the ugly. If they could save themselves, they could certainly make a life for themselves here and now.

"So," she whispered, peering up at him through her lashes. "That was such a nice move, don't get me wrong, but a little anticlimactic, don't ya think?"

"Oh, you want _climactic_?" Jay smirked. Her laugh as he pulled her close and gave her the perfect ending to a great night was music to his ears. And as he kissed Hailey, softly at first, but more passionately as time went on, she knew she'd made the right choice in saying yes to him. She'd always say yes to him, because he always chose her. Again and again; always and forever, no matter what. It was just what worked between them.

* * *

**Ending A/N: And that's it. We've come to the end of this lovely story. I'm not sure if I'll do a sequel, or start a different Upstead one. We'll see - but for now, this one story has come to a close. Thank you for all the feedback and nice comments! I really enjoyed writing this & I'm glad ya'll had just as much fun reading it! Here's to hopefully a lot of #Upstead moments in s7! Can't wait for September! **


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